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When Relationships Change: Growing Together, Not Apart

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“Change is inevitable. Growth is intentional.” ~Glenda Cloud

I got married three years ago right out of college. We had been together since freshman year, and lived together for two years. Still, we didn’t fully understand what was coming our way.

I remember my parents telling me, “You know, marriage is a lot of work. It requires effort.” I fervently assured them that I understood, because I thought I did. But understanding something conceptually and experiencing that thing are two different animals.

Our first year of marriage was fine. To be honest, I don’t remember too much about it. It …

Opening Up to the Possibility of Love: 3 Things to Remember

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“Love takes off the mask that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.”  ~James Arthur Baldwin

I sat silent on one end of the phone. I could hear my own breath and heart pounding in my ears.  I was sitting on the precipice of greatness, and all I had to do was express what I was feeling. Sounds relatively straightforward, so why did I feel so anxious?

To say that I have worked hard at rediscovering my authentic self would be an understatement. I have been on this quest in one form or fashion since …

What Matters Is the Choice You Make Right Now

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“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” ~Charles R. Swindoll

When I read this for the first time, I realized I didn’t have to define myself by my circumstances. That was huge for me, because my circumstances felt pretty shameful.

It was around midnight and I was curled up in the fetal position, mostly alone in my 7’x7’ dorm-style Manhattan apartment. It was me, countless bed bugs, dozens of cockroaches, three bottles of liquor, two packs of cigarettes, and one overwhelming mind.

I’d always felt drawn to New York City, largely because I …

Tiny Buddha’s Recreate Your Life Story eCourse Launches Today!

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If you’re new to the site, you may be wondering who I am. Hi there! I’m Lori, and I’m the founder of Tiny Buddha.

If you’re not new to the site, you may be wondering where I’ve been, since I haven’t written much lately.

There are a few reasons for that. For one, I’ve focused a lot more on curating and editing blog posts from other community members. Secondly, I’ve been traveling, as I mentioned in a post in April.

But aside from that, I’ve spent the last several months working on my first ever eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story: …

Stop Asking Yourself Questions That Keep You Stuck

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“Life is inherently risky. There is only one big risk you should avoid at all costs, and that is the risk of doing nothing.” ~Dennis Waitley

We often see success stories about people who have achieved something big. They inspire us and on some level show us that it is possible to achieve our goals.

However, they rarely help us deal with what goes on in the middle, the point in between starting something new, when we’re full of energy and excitement, and actually succeeding.

That middle part is generally not pretty. How do you tackle that middle bit?

Let’s …

7 Ways to be Happy from the Inside Out

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“All appears to change when we change.” ~Henri-FrĂ©dĂ©ric Amiel

We often start from the outside to try to make change on the inside. Scratch that. We pretty much always start from the outside, thinking it will make changes on the inside.

I am the retired queen of looking externally for internal satisfaction. I spent my most high-stress decade driven by a tantalizing dream. I wanted to be a magazine editor-in-chief, with an all-white office complete with a leather sofa, my name on a parking spot, and legions of underlings at my beckon call.

Pretty deep, hey?

And when I was …

Learn to Love and Accept Yourself, Wherever You Go

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“Wherever you go, there you are.” ~Confucius

The sweat of my palms saturated our boarding tickets. Even as I stepped onto the plane, I still could not entirely believe we were doing it.

My husband and I finished our master’s degrees and instead of immediately securing jobs, buying a house, and starting a family, we decided to travel.

We thought escaping our lives was living on the wild side—rediscovering ourselves. Well, at least that’s what I thought.

I lived in Spain during my undergraduate degree ten yeas ago and had ceaselessly fixated on the idea about returning ever …

Use Self-Acceptance to Learn from the Past and Let It Go

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“The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings.” ~Ralph Blum

We are all familiar with the concept of “releasing the past.”

As one who has experienced lots of events in my life that I’ve been anxious, at times, to let go of, I’m very familiar with this concept.

We want to be present to fully experience everything in our lives, without being tethered to what has already occurred; we want to be ready, willing, and in the moment so we can take what comes at its face value. (Just in case you’re wondering, for …

Let the Energy of Unhappiness Power Your Purpose

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“The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings.” ~Ralph Blum

The summer of 2007 was simply terrible. I wish I could find something positive to say about it but there really was nothing that I can think of. I was underemployed, the economy was tanking, and I was in a shame spiral of depression and self-hatred.

Following a fight with my husband, I found myself driving aimlessly, snot and tears running down my face. I’m not comfortable saying I was on a mission to stop living, but the thought had definitely crossed my mind.…

When You Don’t Have a Clear Purpose: 4 Helpful Mantras to Adopt

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“Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out alive.” ~Elbert Hubbard

I have always defined my life by my career. I think that was my first mistake.

For the last six years, I worked at a publicity firm in Los Angeles.

It was a job where your email is the first thing you check in the morning before getting out of bed. A job where you are on your phone while eating your dinner. A job where your boss calls you out of a funeral in order to send out a press release. Frequent travel, evening events to attend, …

How to Be Happy Now (Because Future Happiness Never Comes)

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“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” ~Dalai Lama

I used to think I was falling behind. Not on my rent or my taxes, but in life.

One moment, things were progressing fine. I had friends. Good teeth. A boyfriend. I even had my own did-I-really-do-all-that-study-to-be-doing-this first job.

But then it all went away. I became ill. And as the years went by, I watched from my bed as my friends led a version of the life I’d expected for myself.

It was as if everyone had gotten on the …

10 Ways to Enjoy More: What’s Your Guilty Pleasure?

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“Happiness consists of living each day as if it were the first day of your honeymoon and the last day of your vacation.” ~Leo Tolstoy

For as long as I can remember, I’ve had an epic list of guilty pleasures.

As a young girl, my top three guilty pleasures included dressing up and dancing in my living room to Madonna (“Annnnd
VOGUE!”), watching over-the-top nighttime dramas with my mom over bowls of Breyer’s vanilla ice cream (“Kevin
I’m pregnant! And you’re not the father!”), and penning addictive, soap-opera-worthy novellas about the kids in my fifth grade class (they’d line up and beg …

Confessions of a Love Junkie: Recovering from Love Addiction

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“The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others” ~Sonya Friedman

Love is a funny thing. According to modern day psychologists and cognitive neuroscientists alike, the consensus is that it is just as easy to become addicted to falling in love as it is to get hooked on street drugs. But I think maybe my favorite drug is love. I guess they’d call it my drug of choice.

The irony in that statement is beyond comprehension. Any one of us who has fallen in love, or struggled with addiction on some level, knows damn well that choice seems to …

Find Yourself Before You Find Love

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“Waking up to who you are requires letting go of who you imagine yourself to be.” ~Alan Watts

After a few years of living through the betrayal and anger of my divorce, my friends decided it was time for me to start dating again.

They took me out to the bars, dressed me up, bought me drinks, and showed all the men how cute I was.

I didn’t feel cute. I felt like a fraud.

The bar scene was not for me. I felt like a piece of meat wrapped in cellophane on the shelf waiting for a man to …

How We Can Embody Abundance Regardless of What We Have

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“Our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world as being able to remake ourselves.” ~Mahatma Gandhi

Embody abundance. I heard someone say those two words the other day. What does that mean, really? To truly embody abundance, do we need to have everything we want? Or can anyone who holds space for truth experience a way of being that is free of lack?

Maybe to embody abundance is to recognize the realness that underlies the illusory film that covers much of what we see in our day-to-day lives. Maybe abundance is always there, but we …

How I Found Peace When Anxiety Was Controlling My Life

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“Every day brings a choice: to practice stress or to practice peace.” ~Joan Borysenko

For five long years during my mid-twenties I was a recluse.

Anxiety so badly affected my life it became impossible for me to venture outside my front door or to interact socially with other people.

Fear and panic would envelop my mind and body, rendering me paralyzed from doing the things I dearly wanted to do. My hopes of being a normal human being lay in tatters. Everything seemed impossible.

Seeing my old friends on Facebook and other people enjoying life, attending parties, finding partners, getting …

Looking for Security: We Can Be Our Own Safe Places

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“All the wonders you seek are within yourself.” ~Sir Thomas Browne

I have always been the independent type. I started buying my own clothes when I was 12 with money I made from babysitting gigs. I got my first “real” job the summer I was 16. I went to live with my mother’s cousins (whom I’d only met a few times) in Boston and worked in a bakery. That was a great summer. I got to explore Boston and learned how to ride the subway.

In college I spent my summers having grand adventures and saving up my money for …

Becoming More Authentic: Accept Yourself and Forget Approval

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“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” ~E.E. Cummings

For most of my life, I was a chameleon. I stayed under the radar, hoping I’d blend in and not draw attention to myself. I was full of self-doubt, so I molded my personality and beliefs based on my company. I traded my authentic self for the security of being liked by my family and friends because of my fear of being judged.

By suppressing my opinions, I was perceived as easygoing, but at what cost? I disrespected myself by allowing others to influence major …

Why Empathy Can Sometimes Help More Than Advice

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“I have just three things to teach simplicity patience compassion these three are your greatest treasures.” ~Lao Tzu

I have two teenagers. Anyone with children knows these years can bring their challenges. One minute they behave like a four year old and the next they are as mature as an adult. These fluctuations can pose difficult times.

One day, after a particularly emotional and tough interaction with my son, I called my mother for advice. She had by all accounts raised three successful sons.

After a long and detailed discussion of what had happened, she said, “Oh honey, I’m so …

What Seems Obvious to You Could Help Someone Else

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“We are not what we know but what we are willing to learn.” ~Mary Catherine Bateson

Despite being a professional blogger, I am not particularly adept at technology.

I don’t have a data plan on my phone. I don’t have an iTunes account. I have no idea how people do that thing where they connect their computer to the TV. What is this witchery?!

But because of my age and my profession, people frequently assume that I’m a computer genius. They are sadly mistaken. One day, my significantly-more-tech-savvy BFF was looking over my shoulder as I checked email. She …