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How I Reclaimed My Introversion as a Superpower Instead of Feeling Inadequate

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“We are each gifted in a unique and important way. It is our privilege and our adventure to discover our own special light.” ~Mary Dunbar

“I don’t want to sit by Teresa. She doesn’t talk.”

Ouch.

I was ten years old and at a fundraising dinner for my travel softball team.

It was that dreaded moment after I had gotten my plate of chicken, mashed potatoes, and green beans, and had to choose a seat at a big table.

I sat down next to my teammate who I looked up to. She was two years older than me. She was …

How to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed by Other People’s Strong Emotions

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“It is not your responsibility to figure out what someone else is feeling and why. Let go of the illusion that ‘fixing’ their bad mood will make you feel better.” ~Sarah Crosby

Some years ago, I was talking to my husband on the phone. He sounded annoyed about something to do with his work, but I noticed an intense emotional reaction in myself. Immediately, my heart contracted and my stomach lurched. I could feel a runaway train of emotions activate within me.

My whole body was awash with nausea, and I felt so very uncomfortable. 

This was a familiar and …

Hungry and Panicked? The Link Between Food and Anxiety

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“Take care of your mind, your body will thank you. Take care of your body, your mind will thank you.” ~Debbie Hampton

4:00 p.m. I am suddenly aware of my heartbeat. It feels more insistent than normal. Is it faster? Is it jagged? Am I out of breath?

I try to reason with myself: I’ve just done a brisk walk pushing the stroller over some hills.

My anxiety responds: Those hills were awhile back… you wouldn’t be out of breath from that.

Anxiety sufferers have a heightened sense of, well, a lot of things. For me, I am acutely aware …

Overcoming Codependency: Breaking the Cycle of Unhealthy Relationships

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“A codependent person is one who has let another person’s behavior affect him or her and who is obsessed with controlling that person’s behavior.” ~Melody Beattie

From a young age, I felt insecure in my own skin. I was a highly sensitive child and, subsequently, struggled with low self-worth for most of my life.

Although I had many friends and a good family, I consistently looked for approval outside of myself. I grew up believing that the opinions of others were the only accurate representations of my core worth.

As a teenager, I witnessed the crumbling and eventual demise of …

Nature is Our Greatest Teacher: Lessons from atop an 8,263-Foot Volcano

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“Deep in the forest I stroll to hear the wisdom of my soul.” ~Angie Weiland-Crosby

In October 2021, my partner and I embarked on a journey to summit Mt. St. Helens, an 8,263-foot active volcano in Washington State.

We have hiked thousands of miles across the United States, Costa Rica, and Mexico, but this was our first attempt at a summit hike. I was bubbling with excitement and nervousness!

Mt. St. Helen’s greeted us with grace and gentleness. The sky was clear, the views of Mt. Adams to the east were stunning, and the temperature was moderate.

We were chatting …

Why Forgiveness Is the Ultimate Act of Self-Love and 3 Lessons That Might Help

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“The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world.” ~Marianne Williamson 

When you hear the word “forgiveness,” what do you feel?

Forgiveness used to make me feel uncomfortable. I would physically contract when I thought about forgiving someone who hurt me. I felt like forgiving meant letting them off the hook while I was the one paying for their hurtful words and actions.

I would play a scene in my head about what it would look like for someone to apologize and admit to their wrongs… and only then would I be ready and …

Why It Can Feel Lonely When You Stop Overgiving in Relationships

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“After you give so much of yourself to people over the years, one day you wake up and realize that you need someone to give to you too.” ~Sylvester McNutt

One of the biggest surprises I found on my self-care journey was how lonely I started to feel in the process, especially when I started to set boundaries with toxic people. At first, this loneliness had me questioning myself. I thought there must be something wrong with me, because I thought I was supposed to feel good and strong instead of scared and lonely when I did “the right thing.”…

How I Gained Self-Confidence and Self-Love Through Nude Yoga

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“Growth is uncomfortable; you have to embrace the discomfort if you want to expand.” ~Jonathan Majors

Click, the camera lens shutters as I stand barefoot in mud, waist deep in cold river water with lilies all around me, wearing nothing but a lace cloth draped across my body. I’ll never forget how nervous I was the first time I was professionally photographed nearly naked. Something greater than my fear had called me to do it.

When I was growing up, my father was determined for me to model or act. I went to several model castings and auditions and was

…

3 Lifestyle Changes I Made to Overcome Dissociative Panic Attacks

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“There is no greater wealth in this world than peace of mind.” ~Unknown

A few years ago, I had what could safely be deemed a “bad year.” My live-in partner left me out of the blue, I became un(der)employed and racked with debt, I got in a car accident that totaled my car, and then…my dog died.

After the year that I’d had, the death of that dog, my most treasured friend, was the final straw. It was the final straw for believing that things might turn around soon, and it was the final straw for my mental health.

Shortly …

Finding the Calm Inside: How to Cultivate Self-Awareness to Create Inner Peace

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“When I look back on my life, I see pain, mistakes, and heartache. When I look in the mirror, I see strength, learned lessons, and pride in myself.” ~Unknown

Years ago, I wrote in my journal: “My life has no meaning. I’m sick of being miserable, of struggling and having to prop myself up. I’m tired of being alone, tired of feeling like I’m wasting my life, tired of feeling like a loser.”

I was that friend who always borrowed money, who was always in crisis or calling at 2 a.m. and saying dramatically, “I’m not okay.”

There are few …

5 Painful Effects of Parentification Trauma and How I’ve Overcome Them

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“Sometimes people wound us because they’re wounded and tell us we’re broken because that’s how they feel, but we don’t have to believe them.” ~Lori Deschene

I’ve always been proud of how I can handle life so well. I’m great at managing responsibilities and taking care of others, but I’m not so great at being aware of my own needs. It’s part of being a highly sensitive individual and growing up with parentification trauma.

Overcoming parentification can take years. If you’re like me, you might not even realize it’s something you experienced until you’re well into adulthood. More people should …

Riding the Wave of Rage: How Mindfulness Became My Lifesaver

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“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything—anger, anxiety, or possessions—we cannot be free.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

My anger has gotten the best of me more than I care to admit. I’ve smashed windows, broken chairs, had movie-worthy brawls on the beach, and said gut-wrenching stuff that has brought people I care about to tears.

I grew up when mental health was not taken seriously, nor was it even on my radar. I just took my wild nature to mean I was screwed up and hopeless. …

3 Lessons on Finding Love That I Learned When Looking for My Soulmate

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“Your soulmate is not someone who completes you. No, a soulmate is someone who inspires you to complete yourself.” ~Bianca Sparacino

For years I was in what seemed like an endless search for my soulmate—someone who would understand me, love me unconditionally, and share my values and interests.

It felt like I needed someone in my life to feel happy, fulfilled, and whole.

I went on a handful of dates, but I got friend-zoned at times, rejected at others, and ended up with the wrong people the rest of the time.

What pained me the most was how I repeatedly …

How I Calm and Release Intense Emotions of Anger, Sadness, and Frustration

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“You don’t have to be positive all the time. It’s perfectly okay to feel sad, angry, annoyed, frustrated, scared, or anxious. Having feelings doesn’t make you a ‘negative person.’ It makes you human.” ~Lori Deschene

In November, I was on an emotional roller coaster full of sudden unexplainable fits of anger, hysterically crying for no reason, barely sleeping, feeling urges to physically kick, hit, and scream.

One of the main triggers was when my partner would go out without me.

He’d go out with his friends to play pool and I would immediately shut down, shut him out, and turn …

How to Heal through Metaphor: Tap into the Secret Language of Your Brain

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“As soon as I allow the Universe to replace my fear-based beliefs with new perceptions, I receive a miracle.” ~Gabby Bernstein

As I was packing up my mother’s nursing home room after her death, I found a little heart-shaped stone that had the word “serenity” on it. I took it back to California with me and I hold it frequently. It’s heavy, solid, and soothing, and it reminds me of her.

I love the weight of that little stone.

When we’re grieving, heavy things are comforting. It’s not surprising that when we want to release stress, many people go …

4 Types of Regret and How to Leverage Them for a More Fulfilling Life

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“Regret is not dangerous or abnormal, a deviation from the steady path to happiness. It is healthy and universal, an integral part of being human. Regret is also valuable. It clarifies. It instructs. Done right, it needn’t drag us down; it can lift us up.” ~Daniel H. Pink

It happened when I reached midlife.

I’d experienced regret before, but this was different.

In my forties, I struggled with several deep-seated regrets all at the same time.

And I didn’t handle it well.

If only I hadn’t chosen to fall into unhealthy habits that were hard to break, like smoking cigarettes …

How Following Our Instincts Now Can Protect Us from Pain Down the Line

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“There is a voice inside of you that whispers all day long, I feel this is right for me, I know that this is wrong. No teacher, preacher, parent, friend or wise man can decide what’s right for you. Just listen to the voice that speaks inside.” ~Shel Silverstein

Some time ago, a guy I knew suggested I go swimming with him and a friend of his. I accepted.

I didn’t know him well. Sometimes he would say hello and be warm, while other times he would ignore me. Since he was a longtime friend of a girl I knew, …

7 Comforting Thoughts That Helped Me Build Self-Confidence

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“Today I want you to think about all that you are instead of all that you are not.” ~Unknown

I had done it again.

I had managed to talk myself out of doing something because I wasn’t completely certain I would be successful at it.

I was an expert at sidelining myself—keeping myself from going after the things I truly wanted. I knew, by heart, all the reasons I wasn’t good enough to achieve my goals in life. I had subconsciously decided that my own personal growth and success weren’t worth the risk of failure or rejection.

As a result, …

How Feeling Out of Control as a Kid Led Me to an Eating Disorder

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In many cultures, food is an expression of love. Sometimes, as was the case for me growing up as a child of immigrants, food might be the only expression of love.

My parents were not very affectionate or communicative about love. My dad gives classic awkward-dad hugs, where he pats your back with self-conscious uncertainty from a good foot and a half away. My mom hit me so frequently and unexpectedly that my body learned to flinch anytime she got too close.

My childhood was punctuated by seasons of my mom’s depression. Ramen and Pizza Hut boxes marked how long …

How I Stopped Feeling Exhausted by Other People’s Needs and Feelings

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“An empath is a person highly attuned to the feelings and emotions of those around them. Empaths feel what another person is feeling at a deep emotional level.” ~Leah Campbell

When I learned the word empath about ten years ago, it felt like the most amazing relief. I thought to myself, yes, that’s me! Finally, an explanation as to why people exhausted me so much. A reason why I had the ability to read people in an instant and was always in the throes of helping, listening, or supporting other people’s crises.

But now I no longer believe that definition.…