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When It’s Time to Let Go: The Freedom of Accepting What Can’t Be Changed

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“When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.” ~Helen Keller

Years ago, a friend had a small party for her son’s fifth birthday. I was expecting to spend most of the party talking to the other adults. But that’s not what happened. Instead, at the insistence of my friend’s son, I spent most of the party entertaining him and the other children.

Occasionally, I would escape to the living room to talk to the other adults. But …

Overcoming General and Social Anxiety: There is Hope

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“F-E-A-R has two meanings: ‘Forget Everything And Run’ or ‘Face Everything And Rise.’ The choice is yours.” ~Zig Ziglar

“Face everything and rise.” Good advice, but how do we do that when we feel incapable? Well, I recently discovered an effective tool that we can rely on whenever anxiety comes for a visit. And I just can’t describe how grateful I am for that discovery!

For over ten years I’ve been suffering from general and social anxiety. People who don’t know me well would be surprised to hear that, since I became a master of hiding my feelings. But when …

Overcoming Shame: Forgive Yourself and Let Go

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“Stop beating yourself up. You are a work in progress; which means you get there a little at a time, not all at once.” ~Unknown

I haven’t always been the woman I am today.

I used to be scared. Of everything. And everyone. Painfully shy and insecure, I saw myself as a victim of my circumstances and was always waiting, on guard, for the next rejection. I masked my insecurity in a blanket of perfectionism, and worked hard to put forth the image that I had everything together and had it all figured out.

I did a good job …

3 Ways to Know When a Relationship Isn’t Right for You

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“New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.” ~Lao Tzu

I was going out with a wonderful man. He was generous and caring and had a great sense of humor. He treated me well and attended to my every need.

But something just wasn’t right. I battled with myself for over a month.

Every time a fear surfaced about how quickly things were moving, I smoothed it over with a shrug or a hug or a reminder of how lucky I was to have found someone with whom to share my life.

My logical mind told me that he …

How to Make Your Cruel Inner Voice Work for You, Not Against You

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“We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy and strong. The amount of work is the same.” ~Carlos Castaneda

I’ve always had issues with food, but in the past five years this struggle became a full-blown eating disorder.

I remember the first time I thought I was too big, in fourth grade. Now I know that I wasn’t too big. Maybe I hadn’t outgrown my baby fat yet, but I wasn’t overweight. Still, all the other girls at my school were smaller than me.

There was one day when a pediatrician came to our school for a …

How to Release the Painful Memories and Emotions Stored in Your Body

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“The cure for the pain is in the pain.” ~Rumi

Your body keeps a physical memory of all of your experiences.

You have lots of memories stored in your brain that you can recount at any given moment. You can recall names, faces, where the event took place, what it smelled like. But over time, these memories fade or change as time passes and we mature. However, even when the memory begins to fade from your brain, it lives on in your body in the form of physical sensations and behavior patterns.

The body doesn’t forget.

The events of our …

Overcoming Disappointment in Work, Love, and Life (Book Giveaway)

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Update – The winners for this giveaway are:

  • simpleshoes
  • twylapopcorn

When life doesn’t meet our expectations, it can devastate our sense of security, threaten our self-esteem, and leave us feeling lost, scared, and out of control. I know—I’ve been there quite a few times before.

Like the time I moved across the country to live with a man I’d met online just a month prior, only to recognize nine months later that we were two broken people who were toxic together.

Or the time I got involved with a multi-level marketing company, thinking I’d be a huge success, only to …

Gifts from a Terrible Disease: A Message for Anyone Who’s Slowly Losing a Loved One

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“Challenges are gifts that force us to search for a new center of gravity. Don’t fight them. Just find a new way to stand.” ~Oprah Winfrey

Alzheimer’s crept into our lives about five years ago. It’s like a vine growing alongside a house, slowly taking over the space that was once free. But in this case, the vine is slowly creeping over my mum’s brain.

There are so many horrific statistics attached to this disease: Worldwide, nearly forty-four million people currently have Alzheimer’s or a related dementia; one in nine Americans over sixty-five has Alzheimer’s disease; unless a cure is …

How Life Becomes More Beautiful When We Stop Anticipating the Worst

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“Few of us ever live in the present. We are forever anticipating what is to come or remembering what has gone.” ~Louis L’Amour

These days I live in the city, but I spent my childhood in a rural English village. It was quaint and quiet and rather lovely—the sort of place you’re desperate to leave when you’re young and full of fire, but begin to hanker for when you get a little older.

Back then, to get to the local school, I had to walk down a long, winding country lane, which had rolling fields on both sides. For half …

How to Stop Taking Things for Granted and Feel Blessed

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“I count my blessings every day, quite honestly, because I take nothing for granted.” ~Mario Andretti

You know that feeling.

When you feel bad about yourself for not being grateful enough. Maybe not often, but surely sometimes.

You are busy working hard, trying to make things work. Busy at life.

But then you see a nine-year-old painting a picture holding a brush with his toes. He has no hands.

And it hits you: You’re so busy trying to make your life better, you forget that it is already beautiful. You feel guilty for not being happy enough.

How I

…

Natural Beauty Is Accepting Yourself, Just as You Are

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“When you are balanced and when you listen and attend to the needs of your body, mind, and spirit, your natural beauty comes out.” ~Christy Turlington

It wasn’t until I stopped wearing makeup that I realized the hypocrisy in every “natural beauty” ad. Be natural, wear a mask, they say. Unleash your confidence by hiding your flaws, they say.

If only it were so simple.

My struggle with body image began at age five. That was the first time I threw up to make myself feel thin.

I began to heal four years ago after I almost killed myself. All …

Loving Yourself When You’re Too Fat, Too Skinny, Too Tall, or Too Short

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“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.” ~Henry David Thoreau

Living in NYC, I have seen some crazy and outrageous things. So, I shouldn’t have been surprised to see an ad in the subway that read, “Overcome Your Bikini Fears. Breast Augmentation Made In NY: $3,900,” or another ad from the same plastic surgery office that showed a picture of a woman looking sad, holding a pair of small tangerines in front of her breasts, and the same woman looking happy holding grapefruits, with the same caption, “Breast Augmentation Made in NY: $3,900.”

Still, I …

How to Connect with Others and Feel Less Alone in the World

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“Vulnerability is the birthplace of connection and the path to the feeling of worthiness. If it doesn’t feel vulnerable, the sharing is probably not constructive.” ~BrenĂ© Brown

There is very little in life (if anything) more important than our relationships. How connected we feel to others is a strong predictor of our happiness and our feelings of self-worth.

From a neurobiological standpoint, we are wired for connection. Our deeply connected relationships can ultimately give us true meaning and purpose.

But, if we’re feeling disconnected, alone, and segregated from those around us, how can we become more connected? Why does it …

Now Is the Time to Do the Things That Make You Happy

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“The trouble is you think you have time.” ~Buddha

When I first read this quote after graduating from college, I fell headfirst into a tailspin of “do it now, do it now, do it now.”

I had to travel the world, while doing yoga, and learning Spanish, and hiking the PCT, and living in different cities, and building my resume, and reading every book ever written.

With every check I put next to an item on my bucket list, I found ten new things that pulled me different directions. I tried to do it all and ironically, felt like …

How to Feel Close and Connected in Your Relationship Again

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“Intimacy is not purely physical, It’s the act of connecting with someone so deeply, you feel like you see into their soul.” ~Unknown

When we’re feeling disconnected and unfulfilled in our relationships, we often believe that we need something more from the other person.

We think that in order for us to be happy, the other person needs to be or do something different. While it may be true that sometimes there are some changes we need to make, oftentimes being happy and getting what we desire has more to do with our own awareness. 

The problem is that …

Moving from Heartbreak to Happiness: How to Work Through the Pain

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“Pain makes you stronger. Fear makes you braver. Heartbreak makes you wiser.” ~Unknown

There I was, sitting in my lounge room, waiting for my girlfriend to return home.

We had just bought our first house together and had been living there for a week. It was a chaotic time, balancing moving, work, study commitments, and an obscene amount of renovations. However, the heartfelt joy of settling into our own place overshadowed the chaos.

Our new home held the dreams of a future life together. The thought of raising a family there filled my heart to the brim.

It was an …

The Technology of Joy: Tools for Happiness (Interview & Book Giveaway)

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Update – The winners for this giveaway are:

  • D. Arturo Gutierrez
  • Preston Cox
  • Kathleen Han

If you’re anything like me, you may think that technology can be both a blessing and a curse.

Sometimes I lament that we now live in a world where tiny screens often hinder real-world engagement, and social media can create pressure to entertain an audience our peers by sensationalizing our everyday lives.

But then I remember that technology is just a tool, and its affects depend on how we use it. Sure, technology can create distance and exacerbate the struggle to be authentic, but it …

Stop Pushing Yourself So Hard: 8 Ways to De-Stress Your Mind and Body

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“Self-care is not selfish or self-indulgent. We cannot nurture others from a dry well. We need to take care of our own needs first, and then we can give from our surplus, our abundance.” ~Jennifer Louden

I have always been really driven. I readily admit that I am an overachiever, and I have the capacity to burn the candle at both ends.

Following my dreams and creating what I imagine is my destiny takes work, real work, so I can easily spend way too many hours a day striving to bring my visions into reality.

I am hardwired to push …

Switching Paths: You Can Live an Exciting, Fulfilling Life

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“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” ~Neale Donald Walsch 

Lights out. Eyes closed. We biked through an imaginary trail. Our guide shouted the magic word, “switch,” and we knew it was time. We began using our minds to visualize where we wanted to be.

I imagined biking down my favorite street in a city abroad.

I enjoyed feeling the bumpy ride on the uneven pavement, looking at the clothes line-drying from beautiful ancient buildings, smelling delicious aromas from local cafés, and listening to the different languages that people were speaking around me.

My heart felt full. I …

How to Deal When You’re Overwhelmed: 5 Ways to Turn Stress into Joy

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“When we meet real tragedy in life, we can react in two ways—either by losing hope and falling into self-destructive habits, or by using the challenge to find our inner strength.” ~Dalai Lama

You’re overwhelmed and stressed by all the things that need to be done. All your best-laid plans for becoming a better version of yourself are feeling very tenuous at the moment.

You still want to be healthier, more present in your relationships, and able to appreciate and express gratitude for all the things you have instead of worrying about the things you don’t. But, you are strongly …