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Self-Love Means Never Saying “You Complete Me”

By in Blog, love & relationships

“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha

A popular topic in the glossy magazines, learning to “love yourself” always seemed to me to be a self-indulgent first-world pastime.

It seemed obvious that the commonly-repeated mantra “love yourself first” was just a sign of the times in a world where something like half of all marriages end in divorce. …

What Helped Me Move On After Being Cheated On

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Sometimes walking away is the only option because you finally respect yourself enough to know that you deserve better.” ~Unknown

When I was cheated on, I was hit by an ongoing blizzard of conflicting emotions.

There were the initial tears that I failed to hide from anyone. There was a cold ruthlessness as I told her that I couldn’t be with her after what she did. There was a wave of misery, there was a wave of anger, and all of it was dotted with periodic moments of calm and even gratitude that she was finally out of my life.…

20 Reminders That May Comfort You When You Feel Anxious

By in Blog, change & challenges, mindfulness & peace

Your heart races. Your body temperature rises. Your hands may shake. Your stomach may churn.

Your thoughts start spiraling to the worst could that happen, and suddenly you feel so unequipped—like everything’s going to fall apart, and you won’t be able to handle it.

It can feel so powerless when anxiety takes over, almost like your brain and body are being hijacked, and there’s little you can do to feel safe or in control.

Except that’s not actually true. Though anxiety can have both physical and mental symptoms, and we can’t just will it away, there are things we …

4 Simple Techniques to Erase Subconscious Negativity

By in Blog, change & challenges, mindfulness & peace

“As you sow in your subconscious mind, so shall you reap in your body and environment.” ~Joseph Murphy

The subconscious mind is like a computer’s hard drive.

It saves whatever information you feed it, without any bias. It does not discriminate between useful information and trash information. It just saves everything!

The subconscious mind learns through repetition. So if it’s fed the same information multiple times, it keeps overwriting it until the information gets etched in.

As you would have guessed, such information is harder to erase.

For example, let’s say you write “I am not good enough” on …

7 Things You Need to Know to Live Your Best Life and Make a Better World

By in Blog, change & challenges, happiness & fun

You know those “moments of truths”?

When what you hear, or come to realize, turns your world around. When one or several things turn out to be exactly what you needed to hear at the exact right time. Ba-boom.

For the past couple of years, I’ve had several ah-ha moments that have made my life better. Here are seven of those realizations. Some were harsh to come to terms with (like #1), while others brought me the greatest relief and hallelujah moment (like #7).

Read them, ponder them, and let them move in with you. See if they can alter …

Why Failed Relationships Aren’t Actually Failures: 5 Lessons on Love That Doesn’t Last

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.” ~Lord Alfred Tennyson

I’ve always loved relationships—the euphoria of early romance, the comfort of built intimacy, and the experience of adventuring through life with someone else. While there are some pretty snazzy parts of being single, I was a sucker for love from a young age.

Now, I also didn’t meet my fiancĂ© until I was thirty—which means I’ve seen my share of the romantic downside as well. With the highs of love come the lows of romantic breakdown: heartache, loss, and the grief of …

How to Connect with Yourself in a World Designed to Distract You

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled.” ~Plutarch

We live in an age of information overload. Our televisions and the Internet are flooding our senses with a myriad of things.

Researchers carefully craft all the advertisements we watch and all the magazines we read to prime us to think certain thoughts and take certain actions. A particular color, a special tone in the voice, a slight gesture with the eyes—all are designed to do one thing, and one thing alone: influence our minds.

They affect us just enough that the subsequent thoughts …

If You Always Date People Who Aren’t Good for You, Read On

By in Blog, love & relationships

“I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.” ~Stephen Covey

Just a few short years ago, I sat across the table from a lovely man on a first date. It had taken a couple months to get there due to our busy schedules, but it seemed to be worth it. He was easy to talk to and seemed like a great guy.

During the course of the evening, we discussed what we were looking for and he told me that he was still married, but his divorce would be final in a few …

6 Things My Heroes Taught Me About Overcoming Hard Times

By in Blog, change & challenges

“A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.” ~Christopher Reeve

It all happened so suddenly that it felt just like a flash flood. One minute the road was clear and drivable, and the next it was a raging river. Before I knew what happened, my life went from being only slightly a mess to being a complete mess, my car teetering on the edge of the water, ready to go for a swim at any minute.

I had left a job I liked and found a job I thought …

We Can Make the World a Better Place, One Interaction at a Time

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.” ~Marcus Aurelius

Now more than ever, the world needs good people.

While driving home from a job interview the other day, I listened to Joe Rogan talking about how he treats strangers who act mean or hostile to him, for apparently no reason at all.

His modus operandi is essentially, “Let it go. You never know what kind of day the other person is having.”

This resonated with me exceptionally well. It’s one of the big things I’ve been focusing on in the latter half of …

40 Ways to Create Peace of Mind

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“Set peace of mind as your highest goal, and organize your life around it.” ~Brian Tracy

There was a time when I thought peace was a destination, in much the same way I imagined I’d eventually arrive at happiness or success.

It seemed like something I needed to chase or find—definitely not something I could experience without dramatically changing my life.

I needed to work less, relax more, and generally revamp my circumstances and relationships in order to be a peaceful person.

Despite seeing peace as an endpoint, I also saw it as something passive; after all, that’s why …

Why We Feel the Need to Explain Ourselves and Justify Our Choices

By in Blog, love & relationships

“You are responsible for your intention, not your reception.” ~Amy E. Smith

I’ve realized that I put a lot of energy into trying to explain my decisions. Sometimes those explanations are an honest attempt to connect with another person or to step a little further out of hiding. Often, they are a result of my own self-doubt and desire for people to like me.

For example, I feel an obligation to say yes to any invitation or request I receive. Sometimes I’m glad to agree, other times I’d prefer to do something else. It gets tricky when the thing …

20 Things You Don’t Have to Apologize For

By in Blog, love & relationships

If you’re anything like me, you apologize far too often, and most of the time, when you haven’t done anything wrong.

Sometimes we apologize for things beyond our control—like bad weather during a party we’re hosting.

Sometimes we apologize when someone else was actually in the wrong—when a waiter brings us food not cooked to our specifications, for example.

And sometimes we apologize for life choices we have every right to make—like the decision to change jobs, or end a relationship.

We’re wired to seek a sense of belonging, and we fear being ostracized from our tribe, so many …

Why I Believe That Feeling Offended Is a Choice

By in Blog, love & relationships

“The feeling of being ‘offended’ is a warning indicator that is showing you where to look within yourself for unresolved issues.” ~Bryant McGill

As I ponder back over my forty-odd years on this planet, I can’t really remember going lengths of time without feeling offended. By someone’s words, or actions. It was simply my default reaction.

Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t enjoy it. Feeling offended never feels good. Ever. There’s always a sting. Which is probably why the (many) “feeling offended” memories are so prominent. And clear.

Some of them were simple and relatively unimportant.

Like the time I …

Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself On Sale for 99 Cents

By in Blog, love & relationships

 

Hi friends! I’m pleased to announce that the eBook version of Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself has been selected for The Great Autumn eBook Sale, which is offering twelve powerful eBooks for just 99 cents each, from now until October 19th.

About Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself

Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself  shares forty unique perspectives and insights on topics related to loving yourself, including:

  • Realizing you’re not broken
  • Accepting your flaws
  • Releasing the need for approval
  • Forgiving yourself
  • Letting go of comparisons
  • Learning to be authentic

Featuring stories selected from hundreds of Tiny Buddha …

If Only I Knew My Worth…

By in Blog, happiness & fun, meaning & passion

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” ~Albert Einstein

Looking back on my past, I see that I have spent most of my precious time striving to improve myself instead of celebrating the very gift of being alive and healthy. For many years, I though I wasn’t good enough, and perfection was my worst enemy.

I considered myself pretty but not beautiful, somewhat smart but not truly intelligent. In other words, I thought of myself as average, not …

Letting Go of Our Past Identities: When It’s Time to Move On and Evolve

By in Blog, letting go, meaning & passion

“Life is the dancer and you are the dance.” ~Eckhardt Tolle

The day I decided to leave acting felt like being exorcised from my own body.

I was twenty-nine and had been dreaming of being an actor from the time I first saw a regional production of Cats around the age of eight.

I spent the next twenty-one years with laser focus on making that dream a reality—voice lessons, dance classes, summer theater intensives, constant late night college rehearsals, and finally, top conservatory training.

Even my mother, who was initially highly uncomfortable with the idea, tossed up her hands …

Honesty Is a Gift, So We Don’t Have to Hide Our True Feelings

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships

“Never apologize for showing feelings. When you do so, you apologize for the truth.” ~Benjamin Disraeli

I’ll never forget my progress report from third grade: “Jennifer shows disappointment when she’s not called on.”

This must have been a bad thing, because my mother sat me down to talk about it. Apparently, when I raised my hand and wasn’t called on, I frowned. I was to work on that, to try to stay neutral, to not show I was upset.

I also clearly remember the day my dad came over to my mom’s house to tell me his father, my grandfather, …

Why We Need to Learn to Let Go and Adapt If We Want to Be Happy

By in Blog, letting go

Charles Darwin is believed to have said that in nature, it’s not the strongest or most intelligent that survives but those who are most adaptable to change.

No matter what kind of life we live, we all need to learn to adapt, because everything changes. Good and bad come and go in everybody’s life. It’s one of the reasons resilience is so critical.

We plan our lives expecting good to come our way, to get what we want, and for things to work out how we planned. At the same time we’re chasing the good, we try to avoid …

How To Be Open-Minded When Others See the World Differently

By in Blog, love & relationships, mindfulness & peace

“Most disagreements are caused by different perceptions that created different realities.” ~Unknown

When I was thirteen, I experienced a monumental change in my young life.

It wasn’t a big move, no one close to me died, and although puberty was rocking my world in the worst way, it was something else altogether that shook me to the core:

The movie Titanic came out.

I know, I know, it’s just a movie, and I was just another swooning teenager wishing that I was the one Jack never wanted to let go of, but it hit me hard. Truth, love, the pain …