Hi Kris 🙂

What you’re feeling makes so much sense for someone who grew up being blamed for having normal human emotions. When a family doesn’t know how to handle a child’s anger, sadness, or intensity, they often turn the child’s feelings into a problem instead of responding with support.

Over time, the child learns: “My emotions are wrong. I am wrong.” But that shame never belonged to you — it belongs to the people who reacted to your distress with criticism instead of care.

Your natural reactions were met with irritation or judgment, not understanding. That doesn’t mean you were ever “too much.” It means the people around you were overwhelmed, unskilled, or emotionally shut down, and they couldn’t meet you where you were. Sensitive people often get labeled as “too much” by families who struggle with emotion themselves.

The voice you hear now — the one calling you angry, unlovable, or unfit — isn’t your own voice. It’s an echo of your sister and mother. You don’t have to keep believing it. A kinder inner voice might sound like: “My feelings are not flaws. They’re signals. I feel deeply because I care deeply. I deserve gentleness, including from myself.”

You don’t need to “fix” yourself to deserve love, only to unlearn the idea that you were ever something that needed fixing.

You asked if others have felt unworthy of love — I have. For a long time. And I didn’t start believing otherwise until I realized that the criticism I grew up with wasn’t a reflection of who I was, but of what the adult around me (my mother) couldn’t handle in herself. I was carrying her shame (not mine) without even knowing it. It sounds like you’ve been carrying something similar, and none of it was ever yours to hold.

If you want to explore any of this more or just need a place where your feelings aren’t ‘too much,’ I’m here.

🌿💛🌿 Anita

Hello again Kris Simmons:

When I answered you earlier, I was at the computer and I had a conversation with AI (Copilot) in regard to what you shared. I agree with all that I posted earlier, but this Sun Eve, using my phone (and therefore not having access to AI as I type), I want to reply again, and this time in my strictly human way 😊

You wrote in regard to your older sister: “She always finds a way to put me down… She told me I’m a very angry person”-

Well, when a person is being put down on a regular basis, is it a wonder that anger comes up?

First there’s a pattern of put downs, second comes the anger. Anger is the natural result of being put down.

It’s like beating a person with a stick and then blaming the person for having a bruise. Or having a bruise that’s too big.

Or poking a person with something sharp and then blaming the person for bleeding. Or for… bleeding too much.

The problem is not the bruise or the bleeding. The problem is the beating and stabbing.

When your mother said you should “get rid of your anger once and for all”, did she provide a private example where she got rid of her anger once and for all?

She didn’t protect you from your older sister, did she? Or worse, she and her older daughter (your older sister) ganged up against you, scapegoating you?

You ended your original post with “I feel like a piece of trash right now.”- because trash was thrown at you, not because you are trash!

Do you live with your mother and older sister?

🌙 🌿 ✨️ Anita

Hello Kris

Congratulations on being brave enough to come onto this forum, to show your vulnerability to a bunch of strangers.
That little voice inside of you that encouraged you to take a leap of faith with this community, that is the voice which will show you how to take care of your anger in a healthy way ( note I did not say get rid of it) it is also the voice which will tell you that you are enough & that you are capable/worthy of both giving & receiving love.
The members here have different styles & we try to respect each other & help each other on our lifes journey.

I look forward to hearing more from you

She is angry with me for making assumptions about her. I have apologized. Hope she is well and everything is okay.

It is not good to make her feel like she is being attacked. So, I do apologize. She believes I was wrong and I sincerely apologize for my assumptions. I wish her well. That is all I can do.