Just thinking this Wed Eve:

Like I mentioned on Sun night, I’ve been looking at my past replies to members, and am.. well, bamboozled by what I see now that I did not see before:

I submitted academic-like essays to members, quoting them and analyzing their words over time, interpreting their motivations, their childhoods, coming up with solutions.. as if I was the forums analyzer in chief

As if people were case studies and I was well, I was studying people.

Not relating to people, not engaging with people emotionally, as a peer- but placing myself (without being invited to do so and without having any educational credentials to show) as The Teacher, treating members ad students who need my superior analysis and proposed solutions.

I’ll write more about it later.

Anita

Hi Roberta:

Thank you for caring to post in my lonely thread once again 🙏✨️

Plans for the weekend? Nothing outside the usual:🚶‍♀️ with my 🐕, working in the yard (cutting blackberries, trimming 🌳 🌲, preparing the next burn 🔥 pile) and submitting posts here

No replacement found for the Winery or taproom. Thing is, the taproom allowed dogs (because it doesn’t serve food), but most other places serve food along beer and wine, so no 🐕 🐶 🌭 are allowed, and I can’t leave Bogart alone in the house.

(Emojis keep showing up when I use the 📱 and I can’t or won’t resist them).

I am glad about having had regular socialization in both places for years (ever since 2017 at the taproom, and since 2021 at the Winery). There were many, many magical afternoons- evenings in both.

One of the magical things I miss the most was dancing to live music at the Winery (🍷 helped with self-consciousness).. and I had fun with Karaeoke in both places.

I didn’t mind singing badly and loudly in front of people because they sang badly too, and because of the magical affect of🍷

The kind of music I danced to: rock n roll and Country.

We’re about the same age. I feel younger though than I felt when.. I was young. The mirror 🪞 though rains of my (youth) parade, that’s why I avoid 🪞 🪞 🪞 like the plague. 🙂

Nice chatting with you, makes me smile.

🎶 💃 🎵 👵 👧 Anita

Not just thinking this Fri night, but being bamboozled, really ( It’s Fri night here)

Late this morning, I saw something I never saw before (since Bogart the Beagle entered my life):

I saw it, couldn’t unsee it: Bogart peed on the bed we share every night for the last 5 months!

It took some time for it to register in my mind. Then I grabbed some piece of clothing and placed it under his peeing. Next, I wiped the sheet and blanket with rubbing alcohol and let it dry.

I put this disturbing incident out of my mind for as long as I could, until this evening- to my horror- he peed AGAIN on the bed, and now, literally I can’t sleep on the bed and have to camp out in the “sun room” in this very, very rainy night.

My bed is a pee fest.

Could be Bogart’s anxiety (he has separation anxiety and feels anxious whenever I am not there with him, like when working in the yard). It could be a UTI- have to take him to a vet to rule this out)

In whichever case, I have no bed to sleep on tonight, it’s raining, it’s cold and.. well, this is my update tonight. Will sleep on the floor/ mattress/ blankets near Bogart tonight, hopefully sleep.

I love Bogart, but am not getting a second dog ever. I now understand how difficult it can be to be a parent/ a mother/ a beagle mom.

For crying out loud, I have no bed to sleep on. I feel guilty: should I never leave Bogart’s presence because of his separation anxiety?

Forever babysit him 25/7?

Getting ready to hard floor sleeping, if I can.

Would like to update you ( whomever may be reading) tomorrow (Sat morning)

🚶‍♀️ 🐕 🐶 🙏 🌿 Anita

Hey Thomas:

Thank you for visiting this thread, a pleasure to read from you!

To clarify: I slept on a kind of a sleeping bag (don’t know how to call it) on top of the carpeted floor, so I didn’t lose heat.. only sleep 😔

Sadly, I will be sleeping tonight on that (whatever it’s called) as well because part of the mattress in the bedroom is wet because of a special detergent from the pet store (plus a lot of perfume I sprayed on it).

I am sufferring from what I’d call micro-PTSD as a result of the first time he peed on the bed yesterday morning (I didn’t witness the 2nd time, only the results), and on top of it, the results of the 2nd time.

I keep hearing the sound of it.

Yes, I decided that next time he pees ( on the carpet), I will hold his nose close to the pee and sternly say “No! No!”.

Thank you, Thomas, for the advice and concern 🙏

Next, I’ll reply to your other post.

🐶 (No!No!) Anita