Will I be single forever?

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This topic has 4 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 5 years, 9 months ago by Anonymous.

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August 2, 2018 at 12:14 am #219963
Connie
Participant
Hello all,

i am probably not the first and only one who has this idea. But recently, I really feel there’s a huge possibility that I am gonna stay single for the rest of my life.

I have moved on from my past relationships. I am not eager to meet anyone now and only want to focus on improving myself. So far I have made pretty decent progress professionally and personally. I keep my options open and going out a lot for different kinds of activities and to meet/make new friends but haven’t met someone that I feel connected with.

To be honest, I am not trying to fall in love or get into a relationship just yet, but started wondering if it’s how my life is for the next 30 or 40 years to come?

Is it normal to think like this? Does everyone go through the same phase like I do?
- This topic was modified 5 years, 9 months ago by Connie.
August 2, 2018 at 12:37 am #219971

Prash
Participant

Dear Connie,

I read through a few of your previous posts. Coming out of a relationship, it is normal to think like that.

You are doing the right things – focusing on yourself, involvement in activities, meeting and making new friends. Still early days. Quite likely that you are likely to meet someone in the near future.

Keep healing. Keep your heart open.

Take care

August 2, 2018 at 12:43 am #219973

Helen
Participant

Hello Connie,

You have been in relationships, what makes you feel that there is a huge possibility that you will stay single for the rest of your life ?

Hope to read from you.

Helen

August 2, 2018 at 12:43 am #219975

Friendly
Participant

Hi Connie,

I Just noticed your post title and just wanted to say, I can Totally relate to everything you wrote-minus the part about getting out and meeting people.

I have met a few people who do find their partners-sometimes in their 70’s, which keeps me hopeful, but thoughts of being a lonely old lady also sometimes enter my thoughts.

From what you wrote, I just had this hunch that it’s all in the timing. Right now you’re comfortable being without a partner and working on yourself, and you aren’t pining away for a relationship. You’re also taking the initiative to meet people. It’s not really advice, but based on that, I’d say you’re gonna find your person. Timing is everything and for some reason (or for many reasons) it just hasn’t been your time.. yet. 🙂

Wishing you love and hope and continued passion for improving yourself!

August 2, 2018 at 8:36 am #220021

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Connie:

I don’t have anything to add to the replies you received so far to your original post but wanted to welcome you back to the Forums, good to read from you again.

anita

August 2, 2018 at 6:29 pm #220089

Moon Yin
Participant

Hi Connie,

I think it’s great that you take a time out for yourself. Without knowing yourself thoroughly, or who you are in this moment, it would be tough to figure out what your wants and needs are. I too am going through this. What I find interesting is that people assume because we are single that we are available. That’s the first thing you need to decide. Are you available yet? If you are working on yourself, getting to know who you are, your wants and needs, perhaps not. There’s nothing wrong with that.

It’s good to have opposite sex friends to be with, which is the middle path I’ve chosen. We are clear that we are friends and there is no pressure of any sort. We enjoy each other’s company. I would encourage you to keep company with some nice men, women friends too, but men who have some of the qualities that you possess or you might be looking for.

I wish you all the best in your self-discovery. Timing, as has been mentioned in previous responses, is optimal when two people are ready, comfoftable with themselves and know what they will tolerate, what they need and what goes over the line. Nobody is perfect, but we, as imperfect beings, have many choices. Loving yourself enough to look in both the light and the dark of your psyche will put you in the best possible position to give and receive the love and life we wish for.

Moon Yin

September 24, 2018 at 12:20 pm #220091

Moon Yin
Participant

Hi Connie,

I think it’s great that you take a time out for yourself. Without knowing yourself thoroughly, or who you are in this moment, it would be tough to figure out what your wants and needs are. I too am going through this. What I find interesting is that people assume because we are single that we are available. That’s the first thing you need to decide. Are you available yet? If you are working on yourself, getting to know who you are, your wants and needs, perhaps not. There’s nothing wrong with that.

It’s good to have opposite sex friends to be with, which is the middle path I’ve chosen. We are clear that we are friends and there is no pressure of any sort. We enjoy each other’s company. I would encourage you to keep company with some nice men, women friends too, but men who have some of the qualities that you possess or you might be looking for.

I wish you all the best in your self-discovery. Timing, as has been mentioned in previous responses, is optimal when two people are ready, comfortable with themselves and know what they will tolerate, what they need and what goes over the line. Nobody is perfect, but we, as imperfect beings, have many choices. Loving yourself enough to look in both the light and the dark of your psyche will put you in the best possible position to give and receive the love and life we wish for.

Moon Yin
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