Why Did He Talk To Me Only After I Blocked Him?

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This topic has 31 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 3 months ago by Anonymous.

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June 24, 2018 at 6:48 pm #213945

Lisa
Participant

Met him on a recent trip. We didn’t know each other beforehand. Initially he came across moody and standoffish. I didn’t talk to him at all and just hung out with my friends. A couple of days in he started trying to talk to me and kept asking me the same question over and over (about my church.)
The night before we came back to the states the group went out to eat at a restaurant and out of nowhere he asked me to sit next to him at his table. I was shocked and nervous, said “no thank you”, and stumbled over to another table with my friends.

Before the dinner was over he came to my table and asked me if we could keep in touch as in FB. Again I was shocked but agreed. When we returned to the states he sent me a FB request and I accepted. The only thing, he didn’t talk to me at all. Instead, he started copying everything I did. As in, if I put up a picture of the beach, he would do the same thing. If I quoted an inspirational saying, he would do the same thing and on and on. He even changed his profile picture to reflect a younger version of himself when he was more virile and handsome.

I eventually got tired of him not talking to me and just copying me so I blocked him. Needless to say a few days later he emailed me and invited me to a X-mas party. I couldn’t attend so I politely declined and thanked him and he said he hoped to see me again.

Question: Is he playing games? He seemed so normal in the email. Why couldn’t he be normal on FB?

Another thing he did on the trip he called me over one day and tried to introduce me to another guy? And was sort of trying to ask me if I was interested in him. Huh?

June 24, 2018 at 9:48 pm #213953

just_let_go
Participant

Hey Lisa,

To me, he sounds like trouble. The way he was acting on FB, copying what you do, seems very immature and insecure. It would appear he was hoping you would make first contact with him, so he was trying to do things on FB to get your attention, hoping it would provoke you to message him. This is a pretty childish way to go about it, and not the best signs of his character.

Unless you’re very into him, and think there is more to it, my advise would be to drop contact with him.

All the best

June 25, 2018 at 5:14 am #214001

Inky
Participant

Hi Lisa,

Always trust your instincts. You were actually very kind accepting his FB request.

Him copying you was a way to try to subtlety get your attention (kind of like the mirroring technique), him being inept in social media (using your style as a template) OR most probably, he was letting you know that you were being watched. Because how dare you not have dinner with him.

One of my old Friends (and some relatives) used Aggressive Liking and Commenting on Every. Thing. I. Did. You have to simply endure it or risk the social fallout of blocking them. (Good for you!)

Then when you Blocked him he invited you to a Christmas party. What’s with this guy?? Why does he have your email???

Next time trust (and follow!) your instincts. If things get awkward, be OK with that.

Let it be Awkward!

Inky

June 25, 2018 at 5:33 am #214007

Lisa
Participant

Thank you, just_let_go!

Honestly, at first I thought it was kind of cute but when I evaluated the situation again I realized he wasn’t behaving in a normal fashion…in a way that I want a guy that is romantically attracted to me to conduct himself! I guess what threw me off was how polite and normal he sounded on the phone call. Needless to say I’ve been keeping my distance.

Best,

VIS

June 25, 2018 at 5:38 am #214011

Lisa
Participant

Hi Inky…thank you!

Well, the reason he had my email address is because before the trip all of the participants exchanged contact info to keep in touch to send each other information about the sites/locations we were going to visit. Once I blocked him I actually forgot that he my email and was quite shocked when I got the invite. He was so normal in the invite, too. Weird. It felt like I was dealing with two totally different people!

Best,

VIS

June 25, 2018 at 10:27 am #214057

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Lisa:

You asked if he is or was playing games. I don’t think so. I think he has trouble processing information in the context of social interactions. During the trip, he asked you the same question over and over again. He wanted to engage you in a conversation but got stuck asking the same question. No ill intent there. When you blocked him he reached out to you in an email. I think he failed to process the information that you blocked him, not quite figuring out what happened. Basically he is interested in you but doesn’t know how to go about it.

Maybe he can be helped with the right kind of counseling. I don’t know.

anita

June 25, 2018 at 1:26 pm #214083

Lisa
Participant

Greetings, Anita,

Thank you for your feedback. I have also talked with some friends and family about this matter and as with here, I’ve received conflicting responses. Some have said he’s good. Some have said he’s bad. I know anything is possible. However, this just makes me even more confused.

June 25, 2018 at 2:33 pm #214091

Mark
Participant

Lisa,

On your recent trip, you did not really have a conversation with him (moody and standoffish) Him asking the same question over and over again and requested to stay in touch via FB.

Once you got back to The States, he copied-stalked you on FB.

After you blocked him, he sent you email after not talking/texting/emailing/seeing you inviting you to a Xmas party.

My question to you is that why do you want to be in touch with this guy? You don’t really know him. What is his appeal to you?

Mark

June 25, 2018 at 2:43 pm #214099

Lisa
Participant

Hi, Mark,

Good question.

It’s not that I really want to be in touch with him (I’ve already blocked him and will not make contact with him again.) I guess it’s moreso that I want to solve a puzzle within my own head. I wouldn’t be telling the whole truth if I didn’t admit that he intrigued me a little bit also (perhaps that was his overall objective when he kept trying to make his presence known on FB.)

If you want a more pointed answer, and for what it’s worth, he is handsome, well established in his career, intelligent, cultured, world-traveled, etc.

June 25, 2018 at 3:08 pm #214107

Mark
Participant

Thanks for answering my questions Lisa.

You said you’ll be keeping your distance. It sounds like a losing proposition in dealing with him in any way.

Mark

June 25, 2018 at 3:21 pm #214111

Lisa
Participant

Mark,

I think you’re right. Thanks again.

June 26, 2018 at 3:12 am #214187

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Lisa:

You wrote “Some have said he’s good. Some have said he’s bad”. Maybe he is neither or both. Maybe he is socially inept.

Yet he “is well established in his career”- what kind of a career is it, I wonder?

If it is a career that requires social skills but he didn’t practice those skills with you, that may help with the quest of understanding him better.

anita

June 26, 2018 at 6:24 pm #214331
Lisa
Participant
Dear anita,

I will offer a bit more details to give a better understanding.

In addition to his moody/standoffish nature something else I noticed while on the trip is he is quite shy. Also, the day after the night of the dinner where I declined to sit with him we were returning to the states. I had a strong sense in my gut that he would show up at the airport (he didn’t need to be there) and he did. He was also wearing glasses (I wear glasses) which I found odd because he didn’t wear any the entire time on the trip. Again to my surprise he came over to where my friends and I were and stated he would hang out with us (what?!) and talk until it was time to go but instead he just sat there awkwardly and said very little even when my friends asked him questions. Huh? Straight after, he went over to another group of people that were also on the trip and was yapping it up.

Just a few extra tidbits:

I actually talked with him via telephone several times before the trip and he was normal. No sign of this weirdness.

We are of two different races/cultures and I am also a bit younger than him.

His career is somewhat that of a public figure and he is a great orator/is very social has lots of friends, etc.
- This reply was modified 6 years, 6 months ago by Lisa.
June 27, 2018 at 2:40 am #214353

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Lisa:

It seems to me that he is socially impaired, maybe more impaired when interested in dating a particular woman. His impairment is significant and reads to me, has been so lifetime. He may not talk at all to people and then talk too much to the woman he is interested in, going on and on without noticing the listener’s disinterest. He may not be able to select what is appropriate to say and what is not. He may not understand figurative language and doesn’t process social non verbal cues.

Reads like he wants an intimate relationship with you but he doesn’t know how to go about it. He is clueless and probably troubled by his ineffectiveness, which explains his “moody/standoffish” nature.

When you wrote that he has many friends, how do you know that and what information do you have about his social life?

anita

June 27, 2018 at 9:39 am #214425
Lisa
Participant
Hi, anita,

Again, thank you for your feedback. This is really valuable insight.

You are correct in that he talks non-stop. I remember when I talked to him those few times before we went on the trip and he did go on and on. He is very intelligent and is an expert in some areas and I believe as you say, doesn’t even realize it.

Another bit of information that I didn’t add in my original OP;

After he sent me the email invite to the x-mas party after I blocked him on FB, I did actually speak with him once more via telephone after that. We talked regarding another group trip. He seemed really excited to discuss the possibility and kept asking me what was a good time and date to talk. Well, we set up a date and time and he said he would call at a specific time an he did. On the dot. He is very anal like that. Well, needless to say we kept emailing back and forth for a few months as I was supposed to gather information about other interested persons for the trip but with school and all, it often took me long periods of time to get back to him. However, everytime I contacted him he was always polite and still appeared very eager. Needless to say, the trip couldn’t happen and I emailed him one final time to let him know that we would have to wait indefinitely.

I was sad because I thought this would be the last time I would ever speak to him again, or at least in a long while. After receiving my final email that the next trip couldn’t happen at that time, he immediately (in about less than five to seven minutes) emailed me back inviting me on a different trip that he would also be a part of and said he thought it would be a good idea for me to come and learn, etc., etc. I really wanted to go but I had just started a new job and the trip would land during my 90 day probationary period. If I am correct here, he seemed pretty eager to invite me/have me there and kept detailing the highlights of the itinerary, and aked me what I thought. sigh. I knew I couldn’t make it so sadly, I had to decline. We ended off with a final email from him stating “ok, please keep me posted when the trip comes together and ttyl.”

As far as his friends, yes, he does seem to have many. I observed this when we were on each other’s FB. However, I could be wrong. I mean, in my opinion, FB friends are really never real friends anyway. At least the majority. I guess what I really mean to say is he seems to know a lot of people (possibly simply through his work) and I can see that he is well respected within his circle/the community. I did notice as well that when we were on the trip he did move like a person who was more of a loner as he didn’t really have many people around him. If I can liken him to anyone to give you a better idea of his character, he reminds me of Mr. Darcy from Pride & Prejudice.
- This reply was modified 6 years, 6 months ago by Lisa.
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