Dear Moonchild:

The key sentence in what you shared is this: “I have no where to go right now”. It is the key sentence because you do  need to leave his place and go somewhere else.

The way he behaves toward you, so disrespectfully  and irresponsibly, no woman can be emotionally okay with this kind of behavior, there is nothing you can say to him that will change his hurtful and disturbing behavior. So you have to leave. You have to find another place to live in as soon as possible, a safer place where you are not terrified, where you don’t get repeatedly hurt (“I’m terrified.. I am hurting so deeply.. I hear keys in the door my heart thunders and I freeze”).

Any such place?

anita