fbpx
Menu

What if you are the toxic person?

Home→Forums→Relationships→What if you are the toxic person?

New Reply
Viewing 15 posts - 196 through 210 (of 295 total)
1 2 3 … 13 14 15 … 18 19 20
  • Author
    Posts
  • January 22, 2019 at 12:18 pm #276225
    Lily
    Participant

    Hello Lauren. Thank you for your encouraging words. I think it was really for the best to end it and I will feel better in the end.

    January 22, 2019 at 12:22 pm #276231
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Lily:

    You are very welcome and congratulations for sending him the recent message. I understand that you feel like a horrible person, but your actions today in regards to this man indicate not at all that you are a horrible person, but that you don’t want to be treated as if you are a worthless person.

    And you shouldn’t be treated as if you are worthless, as if your assertions are worthless, to be ignored. Not by anyone.

    I hope you sleep well and hope to read from you when I am back to the computer (I will remain on for a while),  in about seventeen hours from now.

    anita

    January 22, 2019 at 12:23 pm #276235
    Lily
    Participant

    He send me a voice mail that he is very disappointed in me… That he wanted to still write me, but he had forgotten… He said if this is my decision, he has no choice and that he doesn’t know what I want. I don’t think I want to respond to this now. I just want to go to sleep.

    January 22, 2019 at 12:30 pm #276239
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Lily:

    Double posting, look at my last post to you above your most recent, will you?

    He is a bit more devious than I thought, “very disappointed in (you)”, I sense the scent of dishonest manipulation there as he must know how you hate the idea of hurting anyone by anything you say and do, or say the wrong way and so forth.

    I suggest you ignore his last message and not respond to him at all. If he messages you yet again, let  me know. This is a big opportunity for you to persist with an assertion to a man who disrespects you and is self serving at your expense.

    I do hope you persist, it will the right step in the right direction for you.

    anita

    January 22, 2019 at 12:38 pm #276245
    Lily
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    yes thank you for your help. Without you, I would have surely explained everything to him. I know I would have not able to assert myself like that.

    I don’t want to be treated like a worthless person anymore.

    Yes, his recent message! Even I can sense the manipulation there. Wouldn’t have expected that of him. He also just tried to call me. Suddenly he cares!!! Before it was o.K. to forget me and talk to me later, to be busy all the time. I think I don’t have to worry anymore that I hurt him.

    Yes I don’t want to respond to him again. I want to stay strong.

    January 22, 2019 at 12:47 pm #276253
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Lily:

    Do remain strong. It is the right thing for you to do. It is not okay for you to be disrespected. It is not okay for you to be treated as if you were a worthless person. It is not okay, and the thought of it makes me angry. I know from personal experience how it feels to be disrespected and to be treated as if I was a worthless person. This is where my anger comes from, my own experience of this.

    I will soon, maybe in half an hour from now, be away from the computer. I hope to read from you when I am back, in about sixteen hours from now. Please rest and be strong!

    anita

    January 22, 2019 at 12:50 pm #276255
    Lily
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    I will also be away from the computer now. Then I can write to you tomorrow. Thank you for your help.

    January 22, 2019 at 1:04 pm #276261
    Anonymous
    Guest

    You are welcome, Lily. Will be back in about sixteen hours.

    anita

    January 23, 2019 at 5:42 am #276367
    Lily
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    there were no more messages from him. Except, my facebook says I have a new message when I log out, but there is none. Maybe just a coincidence and a technical problem.

    I’m not feeling too good, but it’s o.K. It is probably dumb, but I really had wanted to be friends with him… But his last message shows again that he is only thinking about himself. And I don’t need a “friend” who doesn’t care for me, who probably doesn’t even like me.

    Like you, I have been disrespected for a long time. Now I don’t respect myself.

    I will go on to work on uni projects now, try to think about something else.

    Thank you for your support.

    January 23, 2019 at 7:58 am #276397
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Lily:

    You are welcome. I am glad you didn’t reach out to him with explanations and apologies. So glad you didn’t and I hope he doesn’t bother you anymore.

    Hold Respect as your highest value- to be respected and to not engage with anyone who disrespects you. You need people who are as honest as you are and who  will not take advantages of your weaknesses.

    Your major weakness is that you have taken responsibility for any and every unhappiness another expresses, as if you caused it. And then you have been too willing to compensate the person for your NON-wrongdoing.

    You need a person who will not take advantage of this weakness of yours, who  will not take just because you offer.

    Over time, you can become stronger and stronger, no longer taking responsibility for others’ unhappiness, automatically believing that you have done something wrong.

    I hope you feel better soon and persist with no contact with him.

    anita

    January 24, 2019 at 1:42 am #276543
    Lily
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    I don’t plan to contact him anymore, as I don’t want to make it worse. I already feel bad enough.

    It was him who reached out the last two times, telling me how bad he was feeling, asking me how I was. I told him that I am o.K., so that he could move on. But apparently he didn’t want to move on.

    I know that I have to work a lot on myself and have a lot to learn. But I think that I already have strength in me, despite all of my mistakes and flaws.

    January 24, 2019 at 7:11 am #276607
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Lily:

    I am so glad that you know that you have strength in you, so glad to read this.

    Anytime you need forget about the strength in you, post here for me and  I will remind you that indeed, you have strength in you!

    anita

    January 24, 2019 at 9:34 am #276651
    Lily
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    yes, I know and some people have told me before that I have inner strength.

    Thank you for your offer and for all your help! Really!

    January 24, 2019 at 9:57 am #276659
    Anonymous
    Guest

    You are very welcome, Lily. Anytime!

    anita

    January 25, 2019 at 11:18 am #276905
    Anonymous
    Guest

    I hope you are okay, Lily!

    anita

  • Author
    Posts
Viewing 15 posts - 196 through 210 (of 295 total)
1 2 3 … 13 14 15 … 18 19 20

You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Please log in OR register.