I’ve always struggled with confrontation and it’s come back to bite me particularly with roommates in the past. Years of therapy taught me that avoidance never makes things go away. It doesn’t help that I grew up with a mom who was both harsh and punitive as well as a helicopter parent. Since I was scrutinized from a young age for everything I did and made to feel I couldn’t make mistakes, I just kept my mouth shut until resentment festered. I’d stupidly rant on social media and get caught since sadly it’s easier to air dirty laundry to perfect strangers than be vulnerable in real life. I am currently living in a house near work. I’ll be moving out in a few weeks into a new place with one roommate. My current living situation reminds me of why I disliked dorms in college due to lack of privacy and constant sensory overload. However, it was much better than the isolating, draining commute from my parents’ house. One particular housemate is loud, obnoxious, and pompous. He is fond of playing video games until the wee hours of the morning. He also seems a bit sexist since he speaks to me in a condescending way he doesn’t use with the male housemates. Last week I really needed to use the restroom and forgot to lock. He was trying to enter but I yelled out occupied. He nagged me to “lock next time”. A few hours later I was heading to brush my teeth and he repeated “lock the door”. The next evening, I was heading to take a shower and he whispered in my ear (in front of a few other housemates) “lock the door”. That felt extremely invasive. The next day I sent him a message telling him his behavior made me uncomfortable as he got in my personal space. His response was extremely nasty and arrogant. He reiterated having “ZERO interest in interacting with me” (although he seemed to get a kick out of being a PITA to me), asked me to “rethink common spaces” since we live in a small house (putting words in my mouth), saying he only reminded me twice (deflecting), and said he’d show these messages to his girlfriend. The last part was childish like a kid saying he’d tell his mommy. I feel like I did the right thing since I probably would have snapped if he kept on nagging me to “lock the door”. Maybe he thought it was some kind of harmless inside joke but I found it distasteful. I am upset since his unsavory reaction reminded me of past incidents where people took advantage of me due to issues with confrontation.