Home→Forums→Emotional Mastery→Too Criticizing of Myself
- This topic has 1,413 replies, 26 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 3 months ago by
anita.
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October 30, 2016 at 4:06 pm #119213
JanusParticipant7:05 here and it is downpouring like crazy, it was surprising;)
October 30, 2016 at 4:40 pm #119218
AnonymousGuestDear Shirley, Earth Angel:
A light rain here, hardly ever heavy rain in Western Washington State.
I like your reply to the other member, how kind you are, and sensible, I like that combination.
And I smiles as to your last creative handling of the inner bully: “when the inner bully popped out, i smashed it and bolted the door…and i threw it into a black hole where it stopped crying out (instead of “cuckoo”), “you’re not good enough.” in fact the inner bully clock stopped and it was sucked into the black hole where it wouldn’t return.”
Excellent!!!
This is how the inner bully works: sometimes it talks to you directly and at other times he talks to you through another person, projecting itself into others. This is why you feel uncomfortable around people, imagining they are criticizing you, judging you, thinking negatively about you.
You can’t read others’ minds, as you know. It is the inner bully talking to you ..through these people. They are not thinking these things, it is the inner bully!
Another way the inner bully works is when you are tired, distressed, when you didn’t get the grade you were hoping for, for example, then the inner bully uses the opportunity to … talk to you.
And the inner bully never has anything positive to say about you: a perfect bully, nothing but a bully.
I do not like that inner bully (did I state this before? Yes, I did!)- I dislike that inner bully and I will smash it and bolt the door and throw it into a black hole where he will temporarily elongate and then implode with one last “You are not… not..” and without finishing his last message he will be gone forever!
anita
November 1, 2016 at 8:24 pm #119400AnonymousGuestDear Shirley, Earth Angel:
You must have had a busy Monday and Tuesday. Wed you have that test, a long test. Hope you are well.
anitaNovember 2, 2016 at 10:28 am #119438JanusParticipantmy computer crashed yesterday and i had to hand-write all my ap biology notes. the test got moved to thursday. i still have to outline parts of chapter 10 for ap biology, in fact outlining chapters for ap biology has left me quite strained for my other classes. i just hope i don’t fail this semester. i’m falling slightly behind in java
November 2, 2016 at 10:42 am #119440AnonymousGuestDear Shirley, Earth Angel:
Of course you don’t want to fail a class and I hope you won’t. But if you do, I am thinking you will be able to make up any such class, if not in high school then in the community college you intend to attend right after high school. So there will be a second chance, isn’t it so?
Keep yourself as calm as you can, when things go wrong- this is an opportunity to practice functioning well under pressure.
anita
November 2, 2016 at 4:54 pm #119463JanusParticipanti don’t have an inner bully in me this week, but i am quite nervous and strained. i am falling behind slightly in java b/c i can’t concentrate when the classmates are too loud. i need to complete 24 pages of notes for ap biology by thurs. which is the exam and i need to find time to study in between. i am learning new things in ap calc about max. and mins and they aren’t too bad, but with all of the things going on in my life, i can’t help but feel a bit overwhelmed at having to deal with new material. i have a u.s history ii test either friday or monday. i’m going to study for sats on jan 5 (changed date) this month. i just hope i don’t fail this semester b/c everything seems out of place and i seem to be falling behind on so many things. also i need to check the status of my financial aid things for college and possibly send in the NJSTARS thing since i’m top 15% for a scholarship. i always have the same recurring dream when i’m stressed and it’s always a dream about me being lost in a swamp and having leeches on me draining me and no matter how many leaches i pull off, there are more that come on. the leeches however get washed away when i’m standing in a waterfall and the fast current just blasts them off.
November 2, 2016 at 7:23 pm #119465AnonymousGuestDear Shirley, Earth Angel:
The inner bully is on vacation but the leeches substitute for it? Do blast them off!
If you continue to be overwhelmed and falling behind, can you see the school counselor or professional there so to maybe get … one-to-one (no noise) tutoring help for java maybe (I always wanted a teacher who made sure the students are quite and behaving because I too was very distracted by noise and interruptions in class) or find some solution to having to process TOO MUCH material in too many subjects (drop one class maybe?)
Like I wrote before, keep calm. This is a difficult time but you can come out from it victorious, having new trust in yourself to operate effectively under pressure. I know you are busy, so I will not expect you to post every weekday or every other day. Short posts are okay too.
Rooting for you, Earth Angel!
anita
November 3, 2016 at 12:35 pm #119574JanusParticipantthanks anita;) so i received a 110 on my ap biology notes, but i think i did bad on the chapter ten questions (90-100) on the test since i was pressed for time after a 30 minute fire drill. my special friend and i had a bad fight over the past week and we didn’t speak or associate with each other, but today we apologized to each other and are friends again. we told each other that we still care about each other. still catching up with java which is like learning another language.
November 3, 2016 at 8:27 pm #119582AnonymousGuestDear Shirley, Earth Angel:
A fight with your special friend? I didn’t think you ever fought- what was it about?
You were under pressure during the test, I understand. You will improve operating under pressure over time.
Friday, you sure need the weekend, to rest, I hope. Absolutely, to rest. An Earth Angel needs her rest following a stressful week.
anita
November 4, 2016 at 12:56 pm #119634JanusParticipantyeah we had a fight a couple weeks ago, he was feeling hurt b/c he thought i was spending too much time with my ap classmates in my classes and i was forgetting about him, i pointed out that he was also spending time with his gf and we were arguing. but we forgave each other. anyway, here are the things i have to do this weekend:
study for ap calc test tuesday
study for u.s history ii test monday
complete ap biology test corrections by wednesday (24 questions to fix)
study for java and reorganize my notes, i’m still falling behind by three projects b/c the classmates are too loud and distracting. i may just teach myself instead. not to mention, the teacher moves really fast and it can be hard to keep up.
study for sats sometime.
find a way to work out and play sports when i have time.
also my ap biology teacher is starting a new chapter possibly on monday so i will have to soon split up twenty pages again to take notes onnext week, there is a four day weekend, thurs and friday no school for teachers’ convention, but i will probably spend my time doing the other 40 pages from ap biology (2 chapters) if we get to them.
here’s a computer program that i have done (i use a computer program called “eclipse ganymede” to run them. i can’t code at home since my computer doesn’t support that version of “eclipse” that is now available.
Temperature Conversion
//scanner object reads keyboard inputs
import java.util.Scanner;//name of program
public class Convert
{
//put in source code to make program run
public static void main(String [] args)
{
//tells complier where to find specifications for class
Scanner reader = new Scanner(System.in);
//program will use two numeric variables called fahrenheit and celsius
double fahrenheit;
double celsius;
//declares that the program will use variable number in fahrenheit
System.out.print(“Enter degrees Fahrenheit:”);
//reader object responds to message nextDouble by waiting for the user to type in a number
fahrenheit = reader.nextDouble();
//converts celsius into fahrenheit
celsius = (fahrenheit-32.0)*5.0/9.0;
//shows the words in quotes
System.out.print(“The equivalent in Celsius is “);
//shows the equivalent value in celsius
System.out.println(celsius);}
}November 4, 2016 at 1:14 pm #119635JanusParticipantloops are a bit confusing which is why i am still working on them in java. This is the program for temperature conversion from fahrenheit to celsius. the comments that have “//” explain what the lines of code will do. also every statement in java must end with a semicolon. the ‘import’ statement allows the computer to import some package and in this case it happens to be the scanner. you need a scanner to read the inputs and numbers you put into the computer, also when you import a package from somewhere you need to declare that it is there so it can be read, that is where the ‘scanner reader’ line comes in. the word ‘reader’ is a name that identifies the scanner, but you can call it whatever you want.
source code: what you type in
byte code: what the computer reads
there are 8 bits in 1 bytecomputers are very literal and you have to type lots of instructions in so the computer can read it accurately. A person may understand if you say “Walk to the store and but me a cat.” But a computer needs the process spelled out. “I need you to walk to the store.” /n (new line) “The cat is in the store.” “You need to pay money at the store to buy the cat.”
every program needs a name which is ‘public class headline’ and every program needs to be runnable so the ‘public static void…” makes it that way.
in most programs, you need to declare your variables and in this case, they are fahrenheit and celsius.
variables of type double are mostly decimals, int. are integers and strings are list of characters.
the ‘reader = next…” allows the variable to be read by the scanner or the computer.
the “system.out.print” actually prints the words in quotes. so in this case, the computer prompts the user to enter a number in fahrenheit which will be read. the (celsius) without quotes means that the value of celsius will print out with whatever you put for fahrenheit.also about the braces, you should always start and end your programs with braces. it is better to overuse them than underuse them. there’s so much else that could be explained.
November 4, 2016 at 1:22 pm #119637JanusParticipantalso the ‘celsius = (fahrenheit-32.0)*5.0/9.0;’ is the equation for fahrenheit to celsius. the “=” is an assignment operator, it assigns the equation to the value of celsius. it is not a equivalence statement, the equivalence is ==. also if you want to add in java you have to put the plus inside quotes otherwise, the plus signs are for joining strings. sorry if this is a bit confusing.
here is a picture of an example of what would happen in ‘eclipse’ with the code
Enter degrees in fahrenheit: 32
The equivalent in Celsius is: 0.0November 4, 2016 at 1:49 pm #119640AnonymousGuestDear Shirley, Earth Angel:
Two whole weekend days start tomorrow and four whole weekend days next week, that is four altogether. Whatever you can postpone to next weekend, I am sure you will. This weekend- lots of tasks. Regarding java, if you can study yourself or get tutoring in school or have a friend help you one-to-one, I hope you progress this way.
Do what you did before- take breaks from studying to release tension through exercise, be it a fast walk outside (I know you like to run but fast walking gives you the same benefits, really) or at home, whatever you can do at home, dance, if you will. And stretch, get into a yoga pose and hold, that will give your learning/ thinking brain a break!
anita
November 5, 2016 at 2:45 pm #119700JanusParticipantthanks anita. so my inner bully has come back again and it has been annoying me lately. it’s like i have a hollow hole where my heart used to be and the inner bully has lodged into it. it speaks in my mind “not good enough, too fat, fail, failure, loser, never going to amount to anything in life.” it summons whirlpools that drown me in. i am sick of the inner bully. i didn’t get enough sleep tuesday b/c i was afraid i wasn’t working out enough so i decided to work out a little and it helped curb the inner bully. then on wed., i was tired going through my notes for one last time before the exam on thurs. on thurs. the exam took two hours and made me quite tired. on friday, i got the exam back and i didn’t do so well so my inner bully went on a full rant about how worthless i am. and over the weekend i’m busy doing test corrections, studying for the tests i have in ap calc and u.s. history ii and working to catch up in java. i hope i’m not developing senioritis. i haven’t been working out as much b/c of school work so that’s another thing the inner bully has been attacking me on.
November 5, 2016 at 6:10 pm #119710AnonymousGuestDear Shirley, Earth Angel:
Create an Inner Best Friend to take the place of the Inner Bully. So, when the Inner Bully says, for example: “You didn’t exercise, again! You are (this or that, I can’t bear to say the words)” – summon the Inner Best Friend (IBF, for short). So the IBF will say: “You didn’t exercise because you were so busy studying, You care so much to do well in school and you want to give it all your time. It is for your benefit to exercise, so let’s take fifteen minutes to do (exercise), after the fifteen minutes, you can study, okay, sweet Shirley?”
Every time the Inner Bully says something unkind to you, substitute him with the Inner Best Friend.
anita
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