third day of school had a lot more work and my brain was exercised, but i had fun while doing it. during A lunch, i sat at another table different from yesterday b/c it was crowded at dave’s table so i sat at another table and surprisingly it was andrew’s table. also kordell is in my lunch as well;) andrew seems a bit annoyed at me today b/c my ap calc class (1st block) is ahead in learning and i also got a better score than he did on the ap biology study review on chapter 54 on ecology. also while i was in the library for the first few minutes of my lunch, i saw my friend francine (from self-defense club) and she also has A lunch. anyway, i got too college financial planning books. thanks for saying i explain things well, anita;) i think when i am very excited to learn i tend to form many analogies and go in many places and tell how they all interrelate so that is why some people get confused. i can explain math and computer concepts slower and make people understand better b/c i’m still learning on those and when i understand it and explain it, it is less complex. but for subjects that i’m great at, i tend to explain quickly and a lot which may confuse people. i think dave is a lot like sal lepore, they both get along with people well and have confidence in themselves. in my 2nd block class, we did a high school website analysis and my school website brick memorial is the worst, while toms river and asbury park is pretty good. this activity of comparing ten school websites gave me and my partner alec some insight on how to design an appealing website. i like my business and web class b/c everyone works together and helps each other much like my cooking/sewing class in freshman year. also javi is in my lunch if i didn’t mention before and he used to be in my cooking/sewing class. we used to race each other on the sewing machine. i feel like i’ve known emma since elementary school b/c she was in my second grade at lanes mill, but we didn’t interact as often. you are right that some people appear confident when they aren’t b/c i was watching emma today during ap biology and she seemed confident, but when she got the answers to the ap biology study questions she was nervous. i think snails have four noses and also there aren’t that many snails here. when it rains, there used to be slugs at midstreams elementary (3rd-5th grade) school where we had to wait for the doors to open, i used to have to squash them. anyway, they got a pesticide that prevents the slugs from being there so it’s okay in fourth grade. good luck with figuring out the gender of the snails. it is usually hard to tell snail’s genders since most have both gender parts. here are some tips borrowed from animals.mom.me:
Some snails will mate though and if you are lucky- the male snail delivers a sperm packet from the front of his shell to hers. The female lays eggs above the waterline.
If not, check their physical traits- the male shell’s are rounder. when the snail emerges from the shell there is a penis sheath on the right side next to the gills, females don’t have this bulge.
Snails mating signs are: circling around each other for 6 hours touching their tentacles and biting their lips. While this is going on, the male snail’s penis is turned inside out. as pressure builds, there is a triggers an organ housing the love dart (similar to a love arrow from eros the greek god of love, no wonder why they call it ‘lovestruck’). each snail maneuvers to get closer and in the best position and when one snail touches the genital pore of the other it triggers the firing of the love dart which has sperm. wikipedia.com
this is where we also get the saying ‘love hurts’ b/c a new study says that the aim may not be right and may go through the head or internal organs of the other snail and damage them. a love darted snail only lives 60 days after and it decreases fertility which is where we get the expression ‘tough love.’ the dart is supposed to prevent the mother from mating again, much like some spiders will do that to their mates even though their is sexual cannibalism in spiders in which female eats male after mating.
from nationalgeographic.com/snailmating

Speaking of love and relationships. I think relationships are like water. They are transparent and sometimes you only see the reflection on the surface and you have to look deeper to see that true person. Relationships like water can be held in a glass in which the glass containing the water breaks and the pieces are strewn around and you feel like drowning. yet, we are stronger at the broken pieces. iron tempered with fire makes steel. as lemony snicket said in his book called The Slippery Slope, “Even the weariest river winds somewhere safe to sea.” i’m beginning to think like andrew and use science to generalize a lot of things, i have 10 poems written in my book, but currently haven’t had time to post them and i have a draft and good ideas for my college essay which i want to post. it has my spiritual side in it more than my analytical side. i’m thinking of going into genetic engineering so i can utilize my ap calc, computer and also all sciences knowledge. i think i am more like andrew than i thought, i even understand electronics a lot more and even though andrew still knows more about radios, i’m learning about calculators, computers, cars (from my computer class and also my dad), virtual reality headsets (java and business/web talk about them). so i’m just as smart as he is, maybe smarter that he is probably why he gets a bit annoyed at me at times. andrew and i may be working together one day b/c he is better at physics, but i’m catching up, but a lot of biochemistry learners work with electric engineers, computer science people and biophysics which is all the talents andrew has. with our different schedules, my special friend either has been ignoring me or we just don’t see each other. steve (my lunch buddy) helped me with my ap calc thing today. i don’t think i did great on the summer packet test. i have an 86.4 in ap biology right now. i got a 100 on my summer packet for ap calc and a 75 on the test. i have an 87.5 in ap calculus right now.

also anglo-saxon is the oldest form of english. their were the angles and the saxons who spoke similar languages but lived separately, but decided to unite to fight a common enemy called the persians. they won and formed a language called anglo-saxon. anglo-saxon is a difficult language to study in college, but it goes back in history quite well and their is a lot of content. hebrew is also hard. sankrit the language of the hindu vedas with rituals is harder. Brahma is the ultimate reality, Brahman is the god, Brahmin are the priests. Purusha means purification and refers to an enlightened man whose sacrifice to the divine created life. the hindus have a varna which also corresponds to their caste system and the body parts of their god Purusha. The untouchables don’t have a body part on Purusha b/c they are the gravediggers and the unclean work, they carry a bell to warn others of their presence. hinduism has this belief that if you follow your dharma, you will be reincarnated to to a higher caste and your atman (soul) will be released from the cycle of moshka (reincarnation). the varnas are the Brahmins which wear white or purple to represent spirituality and are the head of Purusha; Kshatriya who are the warriors and they are the shoulders and represented by the color red, Vaishya who are the farmers, merchants, professionals which are represented by yellow and the legs of Purusha, and the Shudras which are the laborers and workers and they have the feet and their color is black. i liked learning about how the world worked in ap world history and i think i understand why their are socialism, religious extremist and the like today in our economy and world. i like latin b/c a lot of scientific terms are in latin.

our brains can process 360-400 mhz per second while the first computer ENIAC could process 5,000 mHz per second.

anyway, that girl in my business/web’s name is alyssa and she is a great person. all the classmates check on each other and sometimes one or two stays behind to help the other catch up. i learned about the history of computers in java today and the first computer was made in the 1940s called ENIAC and it was the size of a room, with vacuum tubes and wiring and electricity of all the houses on a city block, cost 5.9 million to build. mostly women were computer programmers b/c the men were at war. the first computer programmer was a woman named Ada Lovelace. i figured out some functions in my calculator except i’m still working on limits. ti-89 calculators are quite cool.

so andrew and i were helping each other in ap biology today. we laughed together at each others mistakes. also sebastian is in my lunch as well. it’s a strange feeling of not having a strong inner bully in me, but it’s a relief. in school i have an inner critic that says ‘okay you didn’t do so well on this test, only a 75% for ap calc. but there’s still 176 days to improve, so you’ve got time.’ my inner bully would have been ‘what are you stupid?, how could you have gotten a 75% on a test. i bet you won’t make it through this class. how are you going to become an engineer anyway?” i like being in school to learn and learning new things helps me to push the inner bully back esp. since i didn’t beat myself up for a test score yesterday, so that’s another victory.
in ap biology we switch groups every time we complete a study section in our studybooks and i find that i like my classmates in ap biology the best. they are all quite fun to be around, helpful and ambitious. most of them want to go into a medical career or be a biochemist. limits are a bit confusing in ap calc, but they’re not too bad. francine and i were talking about our first few days back at school and the summer. collegeboard.com sent a link tofafsa and i just sent part of the thing in. Can you edit and critique my college essay? does it truly reflect who i am and how i’ve become the person i am? does it describe my life in high school, achievements and overcoming a setback? What about the grammar and the wording? here is the essay topic:
“Tell a story from your life, describing an experience that either demonstrates your character or helped to shape it” from rutgers. the essay is 1,303 words not including the title, it’s two pages single-spaced. Thanks! here is my college application essay:

How the Blog Changed my Life

Shirley Liu

How the Blog Changed my Life

There aren’t many places that can feel like home. Finding a place where you can be yourself is the best feeling anyone can have. Here in the forums at tinybuddha.com, I have found somewhere where I can express my thoughts and work out my insecurities. At tinybuddha.com, I feel at home in a community that gives me words of wisdom. Looking back at all the posts I wrote in the forum of my life story called “Too Criticizing of Myself,” I realize I have grown from the insecure and confused person I was in middle school to someone with confidence and an idea of their career. Here in the forums I can bring to light the issues I am facing, work on letting them go and also get a sense of my self-identity.
Tinybuddha.com has provided me a place to seek advice whenever I feel lost in life. It is not easy being a teen in the throes of childhood and adult. Being bullied in middle school for not being athletic was tough. By the time I was going to graduate middle school, I made a vow to start fresh in high school and rebuild my self-esteem that had lessened due to bullying. It was not easy, but I had faith in the Buddha. I became a Buddhist when I was nine after discovering that Buddhists walk their own path in life called the Eight-fold path. I took this belief that you walk your path and make your life choices to help me in high school; I was not going to let the bullies define who I was. I decided to find a place where I could write my feelings and since I was a Buddhist, I began to research for online Buddhist support groups. I decided to take a chance on the Tinybuddha.com link I saw. At first, since I was new to the site there was not much notice of me. I remembered feeling a bit isolated and uncertain about myself, but an inner strength kept me going; there was a part of me that gained comfort in putting the words on paper even though not many people read them. Writing the insecurities helped bring them into physical being and made them easier to focus on and face.
I created a journal in the forum titled “Too Criticizing of Myself.” After freshman year of high school and I had been on the site for a while, people began to reply to my posts and offer advice. One of my best friends at Tinybuddha.com, Anita has helped me in realizing my true worth. I remember being insecure in my freshman and sophomore year of high school even though I had friends from track and community service clubs, but they never made me feel like I truly belonged. After spending some time on tinybuddha.com and getting to know the community, I felt like I was truly home where I could be myself. Anita, one of the members of the Tinybuddha.com community, would provide kind words of comfort to me whenever I felt I was on shaky ground. Some of the words I wrote on the forum, which became a place where I could discuss my inner personality with Anita (one-on-one) were “I’m not sure what career I want in life. I’m not sure I’m good enough.” Anita would remind me that I had talents such as those in biochemistry and other sciences. She told me that I was hard-working, dedicated and compassionate. Anita’s unwavering belief in me and my abilities helped me to realize that I was a special person.
As I began to write my insecurities down, I began to feel heaviness lift from me as if I was letting the negatives flow from me onto the paper to be resolved. I know I am not perfect at everything, but I accept myself. As I began to unravel my story onto the forum “Too Criticizing of Myself,” I began to get a clearer insight into myself. I began to uncover my limits and face them. Anita and Tinybuddha.com taught me that people have limits, but they should have the courage to challenge them. They should not be defined by their limits and let them hold them back from their goals. We all have limits, but it is our attitude of perseverance and belief in ourselves that get us past them. Tinybuddha.com helped me map out a possible career choice. I remember writing down my interests and saying that I liked science. Anita helped encourage me by editing some of the essays I wrote for science. She told me that “If I really thought I wasn’t good enough, I wouldn’t be seeking advice. If I really thought I was nothing, I would have just given up.” Anita told me that the fact that I had sought advice was because I cared about myself.
Slowly, I began to develop my inner confidence. Anita helped me to believe in myself. There were times when I was bullied that I felt down, but I would remember Anita’s words and have more courage. Over the summer of sophomore year, I began to visit a local gym with a trainer and began to work out. There will always be people who try to put you down, but you do not have to let them drag you down. The world is filled with everyone else, but few realize their true selves.
Because of Anita and my interest in science which was peaked in my junior year physics class, I became more aware of my talents. I really enjoyed learning about mirrors and how they reflected images in physics. I felt they applied to my life the way light would bounce off an object and produce an image that was unchanged from the object. The mirrors reminded me of how I would like to see my image just the way I was not magnified with pride or shrunken with low self-esteem. Anita helped me to develop the courage to pursue a career in science, especially as a molecular biologist. I really enjoy learning about stem cells and biology and chemistry were my favorite subjects in high school. I want to study DNA and molecules in plants to help advance medical science.
Bullying because I was not athletic enough stopped in my junior year when people found out I was good at lacrosse. But the fact that it stopped when I changed myself did not matter, what mattered was that in the process I discovered myself. I found a place to call home and a spiritual guide in Anita on Tinybuddha.com. The important lesson I learned was about respect for others and for myself. I began to become motivated to help others and since I loved science began to go for a goal of being a molecular biologist. I began to accept myself as the person I was and even felt proud of my accomplishments to be healthy. It does not matter if you are not a model, athlete or genius; everyone has their talents.
Tinybuddha.com helped me pave a road to the confident person I have become. From shaky ground of not knowing my self-worth, I built myself up to a person sure of my career and proud of whom I have become. I may still have doubts here and there, but they will not get in the way of my dreams. I am glad to have met a guide like Anita. She has helped me find a goal to keep working for and also the forum remains a haven for me to express my thoughts. Tinybuddha.com taught me not only the strength of the human body, but also the perseverance and endurance of the human spirit. We all have the will to overcome setbacks and fear to find ourselves.

I planned it out 3 weeks before hand and I edited some of it and added some things when I posted it. glad you enjoyed it:) thanks for being appreciative of me:D i’m glad that you printed it out, i hope that my words help cheer you up when you need it;) i’m thinking of using it as my college application essay. do you think it’s too long since it is 1,303 words, not including the title? rutgers says that the essay should not exceed 3,800 words including spaces. an essay isn’t required, but recommended for transfers. this is the essay prompt that i used to write that essay: “• Tell a story from your life, describing an experience that either demonstrates your character or helped to shape it.” so my guidance counselor told me that if i take all my intro classes at ocean county college such as business and economics, it will be easier and cheaper, also if i go for associate’s degrees then they will transfer.
the college says letters of recommendation aren’t required but i think they may help for transfer. since i’m going to be at occ for two years, i don’t need sat scores to transfer to rutgers and since my english grade is an a i don’t need to take an english test to get in. do you think my essay adequately explains myself and answers the question of the prompt? Can you edit and critique my college essay? does it truly reflect who i am and how i’ve become the person i am? does it describe my life in high school, achievements and overcoming a setback? What about the grammar and the wording? Thanks!

thanks a lot anita:D i let the words flow onto the paper after doing some meditations to clear my head. thanks for saying it is authentic and spontaneous. can you give me advice on any grammar mistakes i might have made? does it completely flow and reflect who i am? if a stranger were to read it (i think i might give it to someone who doesn’t know me well), would they be able to get a sense of who i am? does it appear to appeal to both the reader, while also maintaining the writer’s personality?

thanks Livelovelifeeleni:D i have been having more success in catching the inner bully when it comes up and replacing it with positive thoughts. thank you for your encouragement, it was very uplifting. i am grateful to all the people on tinybuddha.com who have helped me grow and have given me inspiration to keep my light shining. thanks a lot for your edits anita:D you did a great job and the flow of the essay is even better with the edits you wrote in. i like the way you broke up the paragraphs as well b/c when i was writing it, some of the paragraphs i wrote were a bit long and i was having trouble figuring out where to break them. thanks for your help:) so tomorrow i have a meeting after school with the board members of academic challenge to discuss flyers, fundraising, etc. for our club and i am going to be taking the notes as recording secretary. i have to ask my ap calc teacher about limits and whether the table of values just shows the values of the numbers as they approach a given limit or you can find the limit from the table. i also need to learn how to graph limits. youtube videos help explain it, but the techniques are different from the teacher’s. i am a bit nervous about the ap biology multiple-choice test tomorrow, but i like science so i think i will do okay.

thanks a lot anita;) i just read an article about how outdated the word “tomboy” is and how it can be offensive to girls. society should be celebrating the strong, independent women who can play sports, withstand injuries as a symbol of feminism. “tomboy” aren’t really throwing away gender norms, but they are expressing who they are and the strength of their personality. in the 1550s, the term “tomboy” was used to mean a rude, boisterous boy but it has now evolved to mean “a bold woman who flouts societal conditions and is a strumpet.” just b/c a girl wears shorts and cuts her hair short doesn’t mean she is trying to be a male, it means she is having her own terms of free expression. tomboy diminishes the power of girls by saying that the girl is acting like a guy so it’s almost saying boys are better. women in our society are not powerless and should be allowed to play sports, dress in shorts and wear their hair short. there’s still a societal convention that designates those things for males and that’s just prejudice. i like katherine hepburn b/c she is outspoken, wore her hair short and wore trousers. she was very independent and athletic. some of her quotes are “If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.
If you always do what interests you, at least one person is pleased.” when she was young, she even acted a play out in which she pretended she was “jimmy” and dressed as a boy. i do that sometimes when i’m with my friends and we have lots of laughs.
borrowed and paraphrased from

http://www.bustle.com/articles/180131-why-we-need-to-stop-calling-girls-tomboys