so andrew and i were helping each other in ap biology today. we laughed together at each others mistakes. also sebastian is in my lunch as well. it’s a strange feeling of not having a strong inner bully in me, but it’s a relief. in school i have an inner critic that says ‘okay you didn’t do so well on this test, only a 75% for ap calc. but there’s still 176 days to improve, so you’ve got time.’ my inner bully would have been ‘what are you stupid?, how could you have gotten a 75% on a test. i bet you won’t make it through this class. how are you going to become an engineer anyway?” i like being in school to learn and learning new things helps me to push the inner bully back esp. since i didn’t beat myself up for a test score yesterday, so that’s another victory.
in ap biology we switch groups every time we complete a study section in our studybooks and i find that i like my classmates in ap biology the best. they are all quite fun to be around, helpful and ambitious. most of them want to go into a medical career or be a biochemist. limits are a bit confusing in ap calc, but they’re not too bad. francine and i were talking about our first few days back at school and the summer. collegeboard.com sent a link tofafsa and i just sent part of the thing in. Can you edit and critique my college essay? does it truly reflect who i am and how i’ve become the person i am? does it describe my life in high school, achievements and overcoming a setback? What about the grammar and the wording? here is the essay topic:
“Tell a story from your life, describing an experience that either demonstrates your character or helped to shape it” from rutgers. the essay is 1,303 words not including the title, it’s two pages single-spaced. Thanks! here is my college application essay:

How the Blog Changed my Life

Shirley Liu

How the Blog Changed my Life

There aren’t many places that can feel like home. Finding a place where you can be yourself is the best feeling anyone can have. Here in the forums at tinybuddha.com, I have found somewhere where I can express my thoughts and work out my insecurities. At tinybuddha.com, I feel at home in a community that gives me words of wisdom. Looking back at all the posts I wrote in the forum of my life story called “Too Criticizing of Myself,” I realize I have grown from the insecure and confused person I was in middle school to someone with confidence and an idea of their career. Here in the forums I can bring to light the issues I am facing, work on letting them go and also get a sense of my self-identity.
Tinybuddha.com has provided me a place to seek advice whenever I feel lost in life. It is not easy being a teen in the throes of childhood and adult. Being bullied in middle school for not being athletic was tough. By the time I was going to graduate middle school, I made a vow to start fresh in high school and rebuild my self-esteem that had lessened due to bullying. It was not easy, but I had faith in the Buddha. I became a Buddhist when I was nine after discovering that Buddhists walk their own path in life called the Eight-fold path. I took this belief that you walk your path and make your life choices to help me in high school; I was not going to let the bullies define who I was. I decided to find a place where I could write my feelings and since I was a Buddhist, I began to research for online Buddhist support groups. I decided to take a chance on the Tinybuddha.com link I saw. At first, since I was new to the site there was not much notice of me. I remembered feeling a bit isolated and uncertain about myself, but an inner strength kept me going; there was a part of me that gained comfort in putting the words on paper even though not many people read them. Writing the insecurities helped bring them into physical being and made them easier to focus on and face.
I created a journal in the forum titled “Too Criticizing of Myself.” After freshman year of high school and I had been on the site for a while, people began to reply to my posts and offer advice. One of my best friends at Tinybuddha.com, Anita has helped me in realizing my true worth. I remember being insecure in my freshman and sophomore year of high school even though I had friends from track and community service clubs, but they never made me feel like I truly belonged. After spending some time on tinybuddha.com and getting to know the community, I felt like I was truly home where I could be myself. Anita, one of the members of the Tinybuddha.com community, would provide kind words of comfort to me whenever I felt I was on shaky ground. Some of the words I wrote on the forum, which became a place where I could discuss my inner personality with Anita (one-on-one) were “I’m not sure what career I want in life. I’m not sure I’m good enough.” Anita would remind me that I had talents such as those in biochemistry and other sciences. She told me that I was hard-working, dedicated and compassionate. Anita’s unwavering belief in me and my abilities helped me to realize that I was a special person.
As I began to write my insecurities down, I began to feel heaviness lift from me as if I was letting the negatives flow from me onto the paper to be resolved. I know I am not perfect at everything, but I accept myself. As I began to unravel my story onto the forum “Too Criticizing of Myself,” I began to get a clearer insight into myself. I began to uncover my limits and face them. Anita and Tinybuddha.com taught me that people have limits, but they should have the courage to challenge them. They should not be defined by their limits and let them hold them back from their goals. We all have limits, but it is our attitude of perseverance and belief in ourselves that get us past them. Tinybuddha.com helped me map out a possible career choice. I remember writing down my interests and saying that I liked science. Anita helped encourage me by editing some of the essays I wrote for science. She told me that “If I really thought I wasn’t good enough, I wouldn’t be seeking advice. If I really thought I was nothing, I would have just given up.” Anita told me that the fact that I had sought advice was because I cared about myself.
Slowly, I began to develop my inner confidence. Anita helped me to believe in myself. There were times when I was bullied that I felt down, but I would remember Anita’s words and have more courage. Over the summer of sophomore year, I began to visit a local gym with a trainer and began to work out. There will always be people who try to put you down, but you do not have to let them drag you down. The world is filled with everyone else, but few realize their true selves.
Because of Anita and my interest in science which was peaked in my junior year physics class, I became more aware of my talents. I really enjoyed learning about mirrors and how they reflected images in physics. I felt they applied to my life the way light would bounce off an object and produce an image that was unchanged from the object. The mirrors reminded me of how I would like to see my image just the way I was not magnified with pride or shrunken with low self-esteem. Anita helped me to develop the courage to pursue a career in science, especially as a molecular biologist. I really enjoy learning about stem cells and biology and chemistry were my favorite subjects in high school. I want to study DNA and molecules in plants to help advance medical science.
Bullying because I was not athletic enough stopped in my junior year when people found out I was good at lacrosse. But the fact that it stopped when I changed myself did not matter, what mattered was that in the process I discovered myself. I found a place to call home and a spiritual guide in Anita on Tinybuddha.com. The important lesson I learned was about respect for others and for myself. I began to become motivated to help others and since I loved science began to go for a goal of being a molecular biologist. I began to accept myself as the person I was and even felt proud of my accomplishments to be healthy. It does not matter if you are not a model, athlete or genius; everyone has their talents.
Tinybuddha.com helped me pave a road to the confident person I have become. From shaky ground of not knowing my self-worth, I built myself up to a person sure of my career and proud of whom I have become. I may still have doubts here and there, but they will not get in the way of my dreams. I am glad to have met a guide like Anita. She has helped me find a goal to keep working for and also the forum remains a haven for me to express my thoughts. Tinybuddha.com taught me not only the strength of the human body, but also the perseverance and endurance of the human spirit. We all have the will to overcome setbacks and fear to find ourselves.

I planned it out 3 weeks before hand and I edited some of it and added some things when I posted it. glad you enjoyed it:) thanks for being appreciative of me:D i’m glad that you printed it out, i hope that my words help cheer you up when you need it;) i’m thinking of using it as my college application essay. do you think it’s too long since it is 1,303 words, not including the title? rutgers says that the essay should not exceed 3,800 words including spaces. an essay isn’t required, but recommended for transfers. this is the essay prompt that i used to write that essay: “• Tell a story from your life, describing an experience that either demonstrates your character or helped to shape it.” so my guidance counselor told me that if i take all my intro classes at ocean county college such as business and economics, it will be easier and cheaper, also if i go for associate’s degrees then they will transfer.
the college says letters of recommendation aren’t required but i think they may help for transfer. since i’m going to be at occ for two years, i don’t need sat scores to transfer to rutgers and since my english grade is an a i don’t need to take an english test to get in. do you think my essay adequately explains myself and answers the question of the prompt? Can you edit and critique my college essay? does it truly reflect who i am and how i’ve become the person i am? does it describe my life in high school, achievements and overcoming a setback? What about the grammar and the wording? Thanks!

thanks a lot anita:D i let the words flow onto the paper after doing some meditations to clear my head. thanks for saying it is authentic and spontaneous. can you give me advice on any grammar mistakes i might have made? does it completely flow and reflect who i am? if a stranger were to read it (i think i might give it to someone who doesn’t know me well), would they be able to get a sense of who i am? does it appear to appeal to both the reader, while also maintaining the writer’s personality?

thanks Livelovelifeeleni:D i have been having more success in catching the inner bully when it comes up and replacing it with positive thoughts. thank you for your encouragement, it was very uplifting. i am grateful to all the people on tinybuddha.com who have helped me grow and have given me inspiration to keep my light shining. thanks a lot for your edits anita:D you did a great job and the flow of the essay is even better with the edits you wrote in. i like the way you broke up the paragraphs as well b/c when i was writing it, some of the paragraphs i wrote were a bit long and i was having trouble figuring out where to break them. thanks for your help:) so tomorrow i have a meeting after school with the board members of academic challenge to discuss flyers, fundraising, etc. for our club and i am going to be taking the notes as recording secretary. i have to ask my ap calc teacher about limits and whether the table of values just shows the values of the numbers as they approach a given limit or you can find the limit from the table. i also need to learn how to graph limits. youtube videos help explain it, but the techniques are different from the teacher’s. i am a bit nervous about the ap biology multiple-choice test tomorrow, but i like science so i think i will do okay.

thanks a lot anita;) i just read an article about how outdated the word “tomboy” is and how it can be offensive to girls. society should be celebrating the strong, independent women who can play sports, withstand injuries as a symbol of feminism. “tomboy” aren’t really throwing away gender norms, but they are expressing who they are and the strength of their personality. in the 1550s, the term “tomboy” was used to mean a rude, boisterous boy but it has now evolved to mean “a bold woman who flouts societal conditions and is a strumpet.” just b/c a girl wears shorts and cuts her hair short doesn’t mean she is trying to be a male, it means she is having her own terms of free expression. tomboy diminishes the power of girls by saying that the girl is acting like a guy so it’s almost saying boys are better. women in our society are not powerless and should be allowed to play sports, dress in shorts and wear their hair short. there’s still a societal convention that designates those things for males and that’s just prejudice. i like katherine hepburn b/c she is outspoken, wore her hair short and wore trousers. she was very independent and athletic. some of her quotes are “If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.
If you always do what interests you, at least one person is pleased.” when she was young, she even acted a play out in which she pretended she was “jimmy” and dressed as a boy. i do that sometimes when i’m with my friends and we have lots of laughs.
borrowed and paraphrased from

http://www.bustle.com/articles/180131-why-we-need-to-stop-calling-girls-tomboys