HomeāForumsāEmotional MasteryāToo Criticizing of Myself
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July 13, 2016 at 2:19 pm #109596JanusParticipant
thanks a lot, anita;) so for my first ap biology essay i struggled to fully understand negative (reaction acts to decrease a product so it doesn’t produce a surplus such as progesterone is produced by females to help repair the uterus after menstruation) and positive (reaction to increase a product such as the secretion of insulin to maintain blood sugar levels) feedback mechanisms of systems. After the teacher explained things, i realized i needed to be more detailed and explain more and also when it said to provide answers from “outside the human body” it was meant in the outside world, i mistook it for being external reactions on the surface of the body. i think my explanation on evolution and why prokaryotic cells (cells without membrane bound nucleus or organelles) shared similar characteristics with modern eukaryotic cells touched upon decent things,but the grammar was a bit skewed and i didn’t clarify enough on the functions these shared cells might have. i received only a 28/40, but for the next few assignments i hope to do better. i love science, but sometimes i feel dumb at times b/c there are others who will understand it when i make seemingly the most careless mistakes. this week i have been trying to find peace within my mind b/c it is filled with thoughts, some of them telling me how inadequate i am and others telling me that i am great.
July 13, 2016 at 5:10 pm #109605AnonymousGuestDear Shirley:
It would be easy to have peace of mind if you always got an A on tests and achieved the results you wanted. The more you want this success level as a condition to peace of mind, the more stressed you will be and the more chances to make mistakes (the more distress, the less attention and the more mistakes).
The challenge is to accept less than an A, less than the desired success, even failure- with equanimity, peace of mind, calm. At first it is distressing, but then you can say to yourself: this is an opportunity for me to practice peace of mind, acceptance, non comparison (to others). Talk to yourself gently, like a good mother would talk to her daughter, patiently, kindly, lovingly.
Practice, practice… and you will get better at it. (although not perfect, and that is okay!)
anita
July 14, 2016 at 10:50 am #109669JanusParticipanti realize there is still an inner bully within that keeps telling me to be the most perfect i can be, to be the most athletic, the smartest and then i may be able to please even those who dislike me. this inner bully makes me irritated at myself, but it has started to diminish a little. every time the inner bully seeks to take control such as when a voice tells me “i’ll never be able to be as smart as them since i don’t work as hard.”, my own conscience catches it and i imagine the inner bully like a pencil writing negative words on a paper then i imagine the pencil breaking and i crumple the paper with all the negative views and imagine it being buried in the ground and i tell myself i won’t let this inner bully control who i am. i am not the inner bully that expects me to be perfect in everything. i often enjoy spending time gardening, watching the plants grow and i imagine myself growing taller, stronger and more confident, burying the inner bully beneath me.
July 14, 2016 at 11:57 am #109671AnonymousGuestDear Shirley:
You come up with such beautiful imagery! I like what you imagine doing with the inner bully (and I am flattered that you use the term I came up with). Be mindful of the inner bully’s operations and crumble those papers, again and again. Over time, before you even hear what that inner bully has to say, when you just sense its presence, you can dispel him/it. Before engaging in a conversation. This is what practice does. I can do it now- sense it and make it dissipate into thin air. Takes practice and ongoing attention/ mindfulness.
I myself am going gardening now, specifically rake sticks and collect them into one pile to be burned later.
Then I will go on my walk. Sunny here today.anita
July 14, 2016 at 3:59 pm #109677JanusParticipanthope you enjoyed your walk, anita;) Good luck with your gardening, i like your idea about burning sticks. i may use that idea for a meditation where i imagine the sticks being negative traits i have being burned away. i like having different meditations and doing different things b/c sometimes the inner bully tries to override a meditation that i’ve used a couple times so i combat it with a new meditation. it can be hard to silence the inner bully at times and a bit draining, but when i succeed i feel exhilarated.
July 14, 2016 at 8:53 pm #109688AnonymousGuestDear Shirley:
It will take some time and experimenting on your part about the best way to shrink or silence or defeat the inner critic. Definitely arguing with it doesn’t help as the inner bully won’t listen to reason and has only one aim and that is to bully. I read an article one called “shrinking the toxic inner critic”- toxic inner critic or abusive inner critic are the same as what I call the Inner Bully. I think it was written by a Pete Walker, a therapist who has a website. There may be other sources about this.
Did a lot of work, ended up cutting blackberries- the bullies of the plant world! They are so widespread, taking over everywhere, with thorns and twisted in such ways that you can easily feel attacked around them, easily injured. I used very thick gloves to handle them. So I had the Plant Bullies to deal with today!
anita
July 15, 2016 at 10:32 am #109745JanusParticipantthanks a lot for giving me another idea on how to deal with the inner bully;) one of my friends has a saying “the blacker, the berry the sweeter the juice.” i am glad that those thorny plants grow blackberries b/c in my yard, there are some thorny vines with thorns that are an inch big and they don’t grow anything but just are tripping hazards on the yard. however i don’t mind them as long as i am wearing long sleeves and gloves so i can pull them. the scenery is very pretty and there are lot of great trees. do you think i should post my poems on social media or a poetry site? i have written a couple poems about youth and the world and i am thinking of sharing the “Beautiful as the Dawn” poem if you don’t mind. I have a great intro for that poem that I will post soon. last night my inner bully was being quite irritating so i did a meditation in which i cleansed my aura and imagined myself dispelling a negative stick figure image that was the inner bully. i also imagined my aura radiating healthy, vibrant, love and knowing. i told myself i was all intelligent, all eternal and all divine and that the worldly critics and inner bully weren’t going to affect me. i spent 20 minutes transcending myself and i felt great and alive. my inner bully had been telling me “give it up, you’ll never be athletic or a scientist; you’re too dumb. you’re poetry is too spiritual for this world, you don’t belong.” after this meditation the inner bully was uprooted and i had such a great vibrancy of love, i was exhilarated, the inner bully is losing its grasp on me slowly and soon it won’t control who i am.
July 15, 2016 at 11:51 am #109749JanusParticipantfor ap biology. at first i struggled with grasping the concept of hydrogen bonds and hydrophobic interactions but with perseverance and i love science i am now highly enjoying learning and understanding it!
July 15, 2016 at 1:46 pm #109751JanusParticipantthese two links make me appreciate the value of life more and the meaning of these songs are quite cool;)
http://biographile.kinja.com/remember-fastballs-the-way-heres-the-true-story-behind-1566765478
http://cliffordstumme.com/2015/05/12/what-does-ride-by-twenty-one-pilots-mean/July 15, 2016 at 5:09 pm #109754JanusParticipantSo my four interests are science, reiki/spirituality, poetry and librarian. i wonder which option i will pick for my career.
July 15, 2016 at 7:14 pm #109757JanusParticipanti realize the aura meditation is great, it also helps me maintain positivity and creates a protective bubble from negative energies and i vibrate with a divine love and in my heart i feel a divine peace for my eternal soul. i realize that whatever happens i am alive with divine love. i also have a spiritual teacher who helps me a lot, he is a spirit guide i have met in my meditations and i think he was in one of my past lives. with him, i feel a divine spiritual love, i realize my true worth and i realize i can heal. he helps me to cultivate love and also enjoy the beauty of each moment in life and i find that i don’t miss my school friends as much b/c i know they are with me and that i am also letting go of the physical ego part of myself and entering the divine. I feel powerful and in control of my life and i am like a tree that stays rooted no matter what.
- This reply was modified 8 years, 5 months ago by Janus.
July 15, 2016 at 9:36 pm #109768AnonymousGuestDear Shirley:
Powerful and in control like a rooted tree- wow. Divine peace for your eternal soul. – Will be back to read your latest posts with a fresh brain tomorrow morning!
anita
July 16, 2016 at 9:38 am #109795AnonymousGuestDear Shirley:
When I wrote the short post above last night I completely missed your post referring to the blackberries and am glad I read it this morning. Wish there.. well, there are ways- and you are practicing one through the burning-stick imagery and ongoing meditations, to get rid of that inner bully. Kind of making a bully-phobic chemical interaction with the inner bully- rejecting it. Being Shirly- phillic and Inner-Critic-Phobic- I like that (I am referring to your chemistry comment above).
You can post your beautiful poems anywhere you want to- and post any of your poem, as far as I am concerned- as long as you are prepared for not getting the responses you want, that is, as long as you are prepared to the fact that some people will not care for your poems. It’s a difficult thing to be prepared for.
But someone won’t care or even dislike your poem/s. Hey, someone reading this is disliking what I am writing to you right now. So, am I going to erase it? Ask myself: how do I write to Shirley so that not she, not anyone will reject any of it? If I am guided by this latter thought, I won’t be writing anything at all, or if I will, it will be so vague as to stand for nothing, indicate nothing.
Are you prepared for such….think about it?
anita
July 16, 2016 at 10:58 am #109796JanusParticipanti know the date is over, but after reading about it, i realize june 16, 2016 is 6/16/16 which the numbers 666 can be seen who the letters of nero caesar since the letters add up (who persecuted many christians) as a devil’s number, but i think that’s just superstition, still it’s quite cool. i just picked the book called the “Barcode Tattoo” off the shelf this morning and it talks about the year 2016 and the years after when Kayla was here in 2020, i think this is a strange coincidence. the book has a lot of cool scientific facts about bar codes and computers, yet it is dystopian. it talks about how everyone becomes an adult at seventeen and must get a bar code tattoo which has your license, medical records, credit information. however the negative side is that it allows the government to see your every move and there are files that change with your life. yet kayla refuses to get it b/c she is troubled after her dad’s depression and suicide after receiving the bar code tattoo. i think something similar happened to the jews during the holocaust with stars and numbers. i think it’s a strange coincidence that we now have barcodes on most of our purchase items with scanners. kayla reminds me of myself b/c her talent is in art and i like poetry, but she is not very interested in technology like computers, she’s more right-brained. when her guidance counselor told her that she needed to learn something more than art, that she wouldn’t make it into college, she was quite upset. this is a really cool fact about barcodes that i learned form this book “The three limit posts that are in lined bar codes correspond to the numbers 6-6-6. They are the three limit posts that guide the scanner.The two at the edges are named guard bars and the central one is the central pattern” (Suzanne Weyn pg 43).The barcode however was invented in June 26 1974 and not on 6/16/16, but that quote makes me wonder about barcodes.
The cool thing is that the book even talks about GMOs and the loss of power for farmers, i think it is eerie that i have picked up this book now so close to june and also at seventeen years old. i like your creativity in saying that i am working on being “bully-phobic” and “shirley-philic.” hydrophobic interactions describe the relationship between water and nonpolar molecules with carbon atoms which don’t interact with water molecules. it’s like those nonpolar molecules have their own identity (with the carbon atoms attached to them), they have their own personality that is different from the society that is water so they don’t interact well with each other. an example of hydrophobic interactions are folding of proteins which can decrease in surface area and not allow much contact with water so the protein can survive and thrive much like a person who is different from society (the protein) folds himself in (goes on a different path) so they won’t come into contact with water (won’t be molded to societal conventions and can survive in their natural state). i love how every aspect of science can be applied to life;) also i had lots of fun looking up diatomic molecules which are atoms that exist naturally in pairs. there are seven diatomic molecules, how cool;) seven archangels, seven wonders of the world, seven colors of the rainbow, even on the dice (1 dice with six faces), seven days of the week and now seven diatomic molecules! the universe works wonders and i never ceased to be amazed. check this out, i have a book called Cosmic Codes i think i should start reading it now, i think the universe is trying to tell me about its timeless patterns. i had a dream about daylight savings time and a clock last night and time zones and i saw the patterns and numbers and codes in the universe, this is so cool. http://www.ridingthebeast.com/numbers/nu7.php
with every book and music i listen to, they all teach me lessons about my life, i think the universe is guiding me and helping in life and everything happens for a reason, i just have to pay attention to the significances. i feel exhilarated these days as i feel my heart, mind, eyes are opened to all the cool coincidences of the universe. so about diatomic molecules there is a funny mnemonic called “Have No Fear of Ice Cold Beer” and it corresponds to H2, N2, F2, O2, I2, Cl2, Br2. the number 2s are subscripts. about the poetry, i think i will be okay with being criticized a little. there is a quote “you can be the ripest juiciest peach in the world, but there is still going to be someone who hate peaches.” if you allow everyone who doesn’t approve of who you are control your life, you lose your true essence and you won’t be happy if you keep giving in to what others think will make you perfect b/c you don’t see yourself as perfect. also fire has now become quite easy for me to visualize now and it helps me heal and purify and keeps me warm when i’m cold and it also gives me energy and also air has helped me transcend my inner bully and helps me remain relaxed and connected. i am working on being one with water now and it’s cool b/c i am learning about water’s properties in ap biology;) i think i am good with earth, but i don’t like the feeling of being heavy and rooted to the ground, i want to be free, but if i ever need to ground, i use earth.Do you that I synthesized an answer from the reading with the help of internet sources? Do you think it sounds authentic from my understanding of the sources and not just an assimilation of the materials I used for research?
Chemical Bonds
Covalent bonds (strongest) are the sharing of a pair of valence electrons (electrons in the outer shell of atoms that bond) by two atoms which forms molecules (2 or more atoms bonded).
Nonpolar covalent bonds have equal sharing of electrons such as H2 where both elements of hydrogen have an equal pull on the electron.
Polar covalent bonds do not have equal sharing of electrons such as H2O where electrons pulled toward oxygen, the atom with the stronger notion to attract electrons. Oxygen obtains a slight minus charge while hydrogen obtains a slight plus charge.
Covalent bonds may form single, double or triple bonds based on the pair of electrons shared. A single bond consists of one pair of shared electrons such as H-Cl. A double bond consists of two pairs of shared electrons such as O=O. A triple bond is three pairs of shared electrons such as Nā”N. In order to obtain a full outer valence shell, atoms that can share valence electrons may bond more than once.Hydrophobic Interactions (stronger than hydrogen bonds and vander waals forces) describe the relation between water and nonpolar molecules that have a long chain of carbon atoms that don’t interact with water molecules
A type of hydrophobic interaction is when fat molecules (nonpolar) clump to each other rather than coming apart in a water medium because it allows the fat molecules to have little contact with water.
Hydrophobic interactions help with the folding of proteins which helps keep the protein alive and active as it allows the protein to decrease in surface area and reduces the protein’s contact with water.Weak bonds:
Hydrogen bonds are weak bonds which maintain the shape of molecules by helping the atoms in the molecule adhere to each other
Hydrogen bonds occur when a slightly plus charged hydrogen atom in a polar molecule such as H2O (electrons pulled toward oxygen) that is drawn to a slightly minus charged atom (often nitrogen or oxygen) in some other polar molecule
An type of hydrogen bond is when the plus charge of a hydrogen in a water molecule is drawn toward the slightly minus charge of the nitrogen atom in ammonia.Van der Waals Interactions are regions of plus and minus charges within a molecule that allow all atoms and molecules to stick to each other.
Van der Waals Interactions occurs only when atoms and molecules are nearby each other. When electrons are scattered throughout various regions within the molecule, this accounts for the varying plus and minus charges within the molecule which when drawn to each other help maintain the molecule’s shape.
A type of van der waals interaction is a dipole-dipole interaction which exists between polar molecules such as HCl where chlorine gains a slight minus charge since it has a stronger pull on the electron and the hydrogen has a slight plus charge which makes the plus charge (on hydrogen) drawn to the minus charge (on chlorine) keeping the molecule’s shape. A type of dipole-dipole interaction is a hydrogen bond since the bond between a plus charged hydrogen atom is attracted to a slight minus charge in some other atom such as HFl where the plus charge from the hydrogen and the minus charge acquired by the fluorine keep the molecule’s shape.pg. 45 Q11 Scientific Inquiry
Observations: Female silkworms moths emit chemical signals that can be detected by male’s sensory organs (antenna) far away.
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Question: How can male silkworm moth’s antennas detect this specific molecule admist other molecules within the air?
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Hypothesis:The specific receptors on the antennas on the insect’s head bind to molecules in the air. The neurons that correspond to these receptors send messages about this binding to the brain and allow the insect to perceive the sound.
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Prediction: Measuring the average signal output (how much sound the insect can receive and process in its brain) of an insect antenna to its brain will help determine how the antenna receives sound and transmits it to the brain to be processed.
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Experiment: Using a electroantenography (measures average signal output of insect antenna to its brain) can help determine the total electrical potentials (energy that an electric charge would have located at any point in space) of an antenna’s reaction to a chemical signal. The electroantenography can be used to detect how much electrical energy is being sent from the sensory receptors on the antennas to the brain and determine if the signal emitted is strong enough for the insect to hear the sound.
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Results: Test does not falsify hypothesis. The sensory receptors on the silkworm moth’s antennas bind to molecules within the air such as water vapor and the neurons that pick up these specific receptors send messages to the brain so the male silkworm moth can perceive the sound. The electroantennography helps to detect the amount of sound that the one insect puts out and how the sound is processed to the receiving insect’s brain.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electroantennography
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antenna_%28biology%29#Insectshttp://www.physlink.com/education/askexperts/ae206.cfm
http://chemwiki.ucdavis.edu/Core/Physical_Chemistry/Physical_Properties_of_Matter/Atomic_and_Molecular_Properties/Intermolecular_Forces/Hydrophobic_InteractionsJuly 16, 2016 at 1:21 pm #109800AnonymousGuestDear Shirley:
Thank you for the chemistry review of covalence, slightly polar (Hydrogen bonds) and polar valence sharing of electrons. And the experiment with the chemical as perceived and information traveling and assessed by the insect’s brain. I wrote these two lines above, casually paraphrasing, so it is not scientifically accurate. You and I, on this thread, share “electrons”- share ideas like two atoms, in a way. Sharing ideas so that together we are greater than the individual parts, maybe. I am trying to compare the science to human relations as I often do.
You did the same thing with the hydrophobic properties of protein that make the molecules fold into themselves so to minimize surface area with water, comparing it to minimizing contact with society, conventions and such. Interesting… we do have this in common, applying science to human behavior.
And then, just like in the moth experiment, anything and everything that we understand is processed by our brain after input. Input-> processing-> output. Everything is processed in the brain, better make accurate processing, so that our output helps us and others.
I don’t know about the numbers and bar codes. Reminds me of my long OCD history, this occupation with numbers. I better reduce my number occupation, for my own good.
Interesting posts, Shirley!
anita
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