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Too Criticizing of Myself

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  • #102631
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Shirley:

    I am looking forward to read your poem with your line that I like: We are made of star stuff.

    It is almost 5 pm my time, 8 pm your time, 8 pm, Sunday night. Almost a new Monday. Hope it is a good Monday. I hope you have good interactions with all your star-stuff-friends.

    And I hope you have a good night-

    anita

    #102635
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Oh, and thank you Shirley for answering my question. I am glad you are dealing with the distress in the focus of your parents on injustices.
    anita

    #102638
    Janus
    Participant

    thanks a lot anita;) you are a great friend and it always helps to have friends to help me as well;)

    this is really cool:

    http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/solar-powered-plane-completes-journey-across-pacific-ocean/ar-BBsb0V8?ocid=ansmsnnews11

    • This reply was modified 8 years, 6 months ago by Janus.
    #102641
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Shirley:

    You are welcome and thanks for bringing it to my attention that a solar-powered airplane landed in California on Saturday, completing a risky, journey across the pacific ocean, my goodness!

    anita

    #102733
    Janus
    Participant

    i have written two poems. the one containing the line “we are made of star stuff” was planned out while the other one called ‘Cosmic Alignment’ was written spontaneously and just following the simple flow. all i put on my facebook page are positive quotes and a lot of people enjoy them, one of my friends in ap world history, zack (he is really good at history and quite good at analyzing things and public speaking) and he says i’m like a modern gandhi. steve, not my lunch buddy, but someone new(a distance runner from my track team and also in ap world history) wants me to set up a twitter account so i can spread my positivity to those on twitter. steve says there is so much internet cursing and it would be nice to have someone encourage the teammates on twitter. i don’t have a twitter though even though a lot of my friends want me to make one. steve has a great sense of humor and is quite laid back and does quite well in school, he doesn’t let grades or competition get him down. my friend melody (she goes to an art school now) visited me two days ago and i showed her some of my poems and she really enjoyed them. i gave her a copy of “be yourself” to hang in her room so she can be inspired by it. i haven’t started on my mural b/c i’ve been getting requests from my friends to start a positivity forum site and i’ve been wondering if i should do that. but i am doing the mural with angel carrying the globe flying among the stars. dave has been quite supportive of me these days and has been helping me with my school work esp. in physics honors. he really enjoys the idea of me helping spread more positivity to others. my special friend seems mad at me since i’ve been busy with school and positivity things and he feels left out. he feels as if he’s losing me admist all the school work and the planning i’ve been doing. my track mates are great and encouraging and they make me laugh. it is great to run, feeling the wind on your face, feeling free leaving all your limitations behind. it is also quite fun to see yourself improve in your balance, strength and ability to throw shot put or discus better;) the last poem i made math allusions, so in “star stuff” i made lots of science allusions esp. some with physics and black holes. the “A” team is still quite competitive and cynical and sometimes when i try to be nice to them or ask them for help on a school assignment, they act like a clique. they have the best grades and the best outfits and many people admire them; but i’m just happy to be myself. i don’t have to be perfect and fit into every category, i just have to try my best and enjoy life. in fact, compared to the athletes, the “A” team in the school and the intelligent; i don’t really fit into any of those categories. but it doesn’t matter b/c i have my talents and it doesn’t matter if i’m not the most intelligent, most athletic, wealthiest or whatever; all I want in life is to live it to the fullest to be free to be who I truly am and do what truly makes me happy and not fit into a group society labels on me. you can have everything in life, but if you aren’t happy in spirit, it doesn’t matter. also buddha says “sometimes we want too much for ourselves and we ant what we don’t have and that leads to suffering. we should appreciate what we have now instead of letting our wants run our lives and see life as always missing something; why don’t we end our suffering by being grateful for what we do have and for who we are?”

    Cosmic Alignment

    Discovering my soul’s true purpose

    Awakening to divine love and healing

    Breaking the illusions

    No longer confined by the walls of limitations

    Accepting myself and my talents

    Forgetting all I’m lacking

    I breathe the divine in

    At peace with my life

    I’m running and quite sure where to go

    The world illuminated in a new light

    Detached from material wants and pressures

    I am free

    I am alive

    My inner self becoming more vibrant, taking the path of spiritual fulfillment

    I’m going home

    I’m going to the place I belong

    I’m one with the divine, at peace, filled with love and light.

    Life is a miracle

    Living isn’t hard at all

    It doesn’t matter who you’re not, it matters who you are and how you use it

    So don’t bring yourself down if others seem better than you

    You have your talents as well

    I know what I believe inside

    I’m awake and I’m alive

    Wherever I go, whatever I experience I’ll be okay

    Filled with divine light and love, life is effortless

    Life is beautiful

    Live every moment to the fullest

    If you are angry, there are other people out there who have it worse than you or the person who made you angry is out there dancing

    So release your worry, doubt and anger; it only wastes your energy in life and takes away the precious seconds when you could be happy

    Live as if you were too die this moment

    Be happy with who you are, embrace life cause you can’t rewind a moment in this life

    Be one with the divine, be one with yourself

    Experience life as a miracle, don’t live with regrets, they only hold you back

    Free your soul, free your heart and soar, align yourself to the path of your true purpose.

    Embrace your uniqueness

    A star is born in the universe

    from the disarray of nebulas and specks of energy in this galaxy

    We are all made of star stuff

    Like a star formed out of the chaos of cosmic energy, we have the ability to shine brighter with hope even when our life is in disarray

    When we feel lost, stuck spinning in circles, uncertain which path to take

    We can take this time to focus on our inner stars, our talents

    Embrace your uniqueness

    Rather than falling into the black hole or keeping yourself oriented in orbit around darkness

    Turn on your full brightness

    Be big and bold, let your energy explode like a supernova

    Let your true self emerge in light and power to shed light and warmth and love upon the world

    We are all made of star stuff

    We all have a purpose in life

    Like the stars interwoven in the night sky, we have the ability to interweave ourselves into into a divine soul

    One small star shining in the sky makes a world of difference

    What would the world be like if there wasn’t anyone to take a stand and light the way for others?

    What would the world be like if all we saw was the darkness of the night sky?

    We are all made of star stuff

    We are all interconnected in the sky

    We all go through triumphs and trials

    Sometimes we may feel alone in the midst of an expansive galaxy and the gravitational pull of the black hole beckons

    We may fall from the sky and blaze with fire like a meteor and fall to the Earth as a meteorite

    It seems like the light of hope has burned out within us, that we are confined by the rock walls that we can’t break free from

    We long to be back in the sky,but all we see is the ground beneath our feet

    How can we get back up to the sky?

    It takes strength and courage to break the walls, to break the fears and whatever holds you back

    We are meant to fall so we can become stronger

    So that we can develop our wings and fly back to the stars with more wisdom

    Embrace your uniqueness

    Your imperfections make life meaningful

    It takes time and courage, but free your soul

    Don’t live a life unlived in fear,, don’t let life pass you by

    Even if you feel you are falling into the black hole and you feel weak to try

    It’s okay, take a break and don’t struggle against the darkness

    Delve into that void, learn what you can about it

    Then regather your strength and use what you learned to help you out of the hole

    And if you find you are doubting yourself and the pressure pulling you down is too great; ask yourself “Is this what I want in life? Is what I see how my life should be? Do I truly want to be stuck in darkness my whole life afraid to fly?”

    Listen to the answers in your heart

    Take the chaos of your life and use it to help you develop your star

    We are all made of star stuff

    We are all beautiful and unique

    Each one of us has a part in this world, to shine our light

    Like the stars that twinkle in the night sky that cast light upon this world, so can we each as individuals cast our light and love to make the world a better place

    Embrace your talents, just like each star in the sky we all have our brightness

    Not all the stars in the universe are the same, some are brighter, some are farther away, some are bigger; yet they all have a place to shine

    It doesn’t matter how bright you are, embrace your talents

    Go for your goals

    Expand to other galaxies

    Don’t let anything hold you back from your dreams

    And when it comes time for a star to pass it explodes into a supernova burst of rays and goes to a white dwarf as it cools down

    Live your life like the sun, don’t make yourself so massive and powerful if you aren’t happy or you will become a big black hole with no light, instead live your life and become a white dwarf as it cools down

    And so too should you and I live life to the fullest

    Like the stars, we should release all our fears and open ourselves to our true divine essence and so when we become white dwarfs and part of the universe, the cosmos we have truly experienced all that we could and shed light and impacted our world

    The law of conservation of energy says that energy cannot be created nor destroyed, it can only be changed from form to form

    So live life with no regrets, let your inner star shine your fullest and when you pass you will become part of the sky

    We are all made of star stuff

    We are all energy

    Embrace your uniqueness, each star plays their part in making the world brighter

    If everyone were the same, we wouldn’t be learning much in life

    You are a star and important

    The night sky would be dimmer without you and if everyone were the same there wouldn’t be any meaning in life

    Also since we cannot create or destroy energy and thoughts are energy transferred from electrical neural impulses from our brain which processes things and causes our body to function

    It doesn’t matter what goals you have in life, what road you travel in life

    You have a purpose and wherever you go, whoever you are, you will go home to unconditional love and the divine

    If thoughts are energy and stars are energy, and the mind controls our body then we are energy

    We are star stuff (mostly 99.9%) and capable of great things

    #102739
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Shirley:

    WOW-

    There are lines in your poems that deserve to be engraved in rock and last forever. It is hard to choose those lines because so many are the best. Here are my most favorite lines, rock en-gravable, from Cosmic Alignment:

    “Awakening to divine love and healing
    Breaking the illusions

    I’m running and quite sure where to go

    I am free
    I am alive

    I’m going home
    I’m going to the place I belong”

    And from Embrace your Uniqueness:

    Be big and bold, let your energy explode like a supernova
    Let your true self emerge
    We are all made of star stuff

    One small star shining in the sky makes a world of difference
    What would the world be like if all we saw was the darkness of the night sky?

    We are all made of star stuff
    We are all interconnected in the sky

    Out of rock… but have to copy this here:

    “Even if you feel you are falling into the black hole and you feel weak to try
    It’s okay, take a break and don’t struggle against the darkness
    Delve into that void, learn what you can about it
    Then regather your strength and use what you learned to help you out of the hole”

    There is a whole lesson in the past four lines above, much wisdom.

    If you post your poems in Facebook and maybe on Twitter in the future, on a Spreading Positivity Page, what I would do is break your poems to small portions and post a new portion every day, so you have a continuation of one poem throughout a week under the same poem title.

    I am glad you are keeping the angel in the mural, the angel carrying the globe flying among the stars. Was it Dave who said it may be too religious? And I said the angel is authentic Shirley?

    “a modern gandhi.” – I like “Shirley” better, just Shirley- a whole world is in you, quite amazing!

    I read a few new names of friends in school, another Steve and Melody. And I like your self acceptance expressed so very well in the post before the poems!

    Till tomorrow, take good care of amazing Shirley!

    anita

    #102953
    Janus
    Participant

    thanks for the idea, anita;) i talked to my ap english teacher and also my mindfulness teacher and they also said it would be a good idea. my ap english teacher wants to start an ap positive poetry newspaper after the ap exam (may 11 for english and may 12 for history, i also have a post test for pre-calc on may 12). dave also enjoys writing poetry as well and he and i are both excited for the poetry newspaper. for the angel mural, my mindfulness teacher and ap teacher said it would be great and dave also enjoys it, andrew is still against it saying it is too religious. my lunch buddy steve made me laugh today b/c i was having not much interest in ap world history, he said the test on wwi and wwii didn’t have much purpose and it wasn’t an accurate measure of my true intelligence. he has also been helping me with trig identities in pre-calc where you perform operations of trig functions. i am learning about light and sound in physics honors and it’s a lot of content. i still have an 89.3 this semester and last semester i received an 84. the teacher doesn’t spend much time going over the course material and explaining it thoroughly which is why i struggle. he lectures then gives a worksheet and often doesn’t go over the answers. he is a good teacher since he simplifies the notes and makes the class fun, but sometimes it can be confusing since he doesn’t spend much time discussing the topic and making sure everyone understands it. trig identities are a bit difficult in pre-calc esp. when you have to multiply sines and cosines to get common denominators or you have to change the trig reciprocals (cosecant, secant, cotangent) to sines and cosines when you divide. if a cotangent is in the denominator, you have to remember to multiply by the reciprocal which is sin/cos. i have an 88.3 this semester and in ap world history an 90.2 this semester. i can always bring my history and english grades up, but i’m not sure about physics honors which makes me annoyed b/c i like science a lot, but maybe physics isn’t a science for me, since i did better in biology and chemistry honors (former years). my ap english teacher is convinced i will get a five on the ap test, since ii know most of the subject material and i can write quite well, she says i just have to have more confidence in myself; i’m not so sure i will get a five, but i may get a four at least. my ap history teacher feels the same way, but i hate the dbq (document-based question) where you have to analyze 12 documents in ten minutes, group them, summarize them, write the point of view and the purpose and the writing time is 40 minutes. the change over time essay is okay, but it requires you to memorize the events within long time periods and analyze how and why they changed over time. you have to state the before, after, events in order and i find that i have trouble coming up with events within that time period and organizing them in chronological order. it’s the planning that is hard, but the essay is quite easy to write. my special friend saw that i was working quite hard at lunch yesterday on history and he came over to cheer me up, he told me that i needed to take a break and have some fun in life. he entertained me with a story of how he hid his brother’s math homework and got chased around while his brother was trying to find it. he knows that dave and andrew compete against me at times so today, he gave me some help with my english notes and he also pretended that he was a rockstar and it made me laugh as he was playing music and dancing around. he has a great sense of humor and always seems to know when i need support in life, sometimes people make fun of us together, but he ignores them, he’s just glad to be around me. when people place bets on how long will be friends, he gets annoyed and tells them that we’ve been friends for 5 years (seventh grade) and we’ll still be friends. some of his friends don’t get why he and i enjoy being around each other b/c they don’t think i’m as pretty as other girls or as smart as the “A team”, but he doesn’t seem to mind being around me. he likes to run with me and we make each other laugh, it doesn’t matter if i’m not as pretty or as smart as others.

    #102986
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Shirley:

    I lost my “t” and every time you see it – I paste it following copying it. It is driving me crazy. I will be back tomorrow with a fixed t.

    take care, and until the morrow-

    anita

    #103032
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Shirley:

    Your mindfulness teacher, does she teach classes sometimes? Or is she a resource teacher and you get to see her in her office, the one with decorations and colors to use for different emotions..? If you see her in her office, how often? How does she get to attend to all students and in what contexts?

    I still like the angel in the mural, simply because it is a Shirley theme, not because of the religious aspect. What if you explain it to Andrew? I wonder how strong his religious sentiment.

    Till later, to be going on a walk soon:

    anita

    #103043
    Janus
    Participant

    have fun on your walk;) she doesn’t teach classes, but she encourages people who are interested to come and she gives them resources. i often see her mostly on tuesdays and wednesdays when i stop by in the morning or after school. i also have a yoga/ art teacher who allows people to take coloring sheets to color and relieve their stress. my school based teacher is putting on a lead and succeed club (the room with the green paint, tree picture and smiley face balls) and it helps teens make good choices in life. i think andrew is more of a science than a religious type of person, he like me believes in the big bang and the evolution of species rather than the creation of the world by god/s. i often use science a lot to help me justify my spirituality such as learning about different frequencies of light and applying it to energy of angels, but i find a good balance between science and spirituality. i don’t like the fact that medicine is given to people constantly to help their symptoms instead of listening to the person and finding a way to find out what’s truly the cause and finding a cure. dave is great, he heard that i was struggling in physics honors and after ap english, he and andrew both helped me with physics. he and andrew also stayed after school and we went over some problems on light and sound. dave enjoys religion and spirituality while andrew though he likes nature, he sees it more in a scientific aspect. also my special friend was also listening to me talk about school and he was also encouraging me as well. he doesn’t mind me being interested in academics as much, but he seems to feel left out when andrew and dave help me with school. my friend jenna is quite enjoying regular physics and she is having fun with her classes. she is learning to be laid-back b/c she like me also is very meticulous and works really hard.

    #103045
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Shirley:

    Thank you for explaining to me that your Mindfulness teacher is a resource teacher, an extra curricular type teacher, before and after school. And you have a yoga/ art teacher, also resource I understand as well as a “school based teacher”- I wonder what that is, but I am glad you have a mindfulness and yoga teacher. This is real progress, to have such programs in school. It is progress for the administration to acknowledge that students’ mental health should be addressed in context of school. I only wish the mindfulness teacher would be incorporated to the curriculum as a weekly class!

    I like it that Dave and Andrew have been helping you after school. It means a lot that they do. And Jenna, I don’t think I read her name, but good to have more laid back friends who share your values of hard work.

    Your special friend is still jealous, I see. But as long as he encourages you, I suppose he is a good influence on you.

    I also like how you balance science and spirituality.

    anita

    #103052
    Janus
    Participant

    thanks anita;) “school-based teacher” means that she is a counselor for the school and she does programs as well such as community service and leadership. here is a poem i wrote about you;)

    A Friend of the Rainbow

    All the colors at full brightness and beauty

    Appearing after the dissipation of rain

    You are beautiful and unique

    Your caring and compassionate nature encourages me to strive for my best

    Throughout the storms of life, when the sun is blocked by gray clouds and it downpours you are always here to listen

    When the waters of life are frozen and still, your compassion calms me and makes the streams of life flow again

    You are the blue of the skies that I can gather hope from

    Like the rainbow that comes after a storm, your strength gives me comfort in life

    The rainbow represents the beauty that can come out of darkness and cloudy hazes

    You are a true rainbow

    You brighten the lives of me and others with your compassionate nature

    The rainbow has a reason for being curved, it represents that there is no straight way path to life

    The arc of the rainbow represents the doors you can open in life

    I feel like you can open any door to your dreams and also that you have opened many for me

    Life has its twists and turns and sometimes you may slip and fall

    But under the arc of the rainbow, I feel safe

    You help me build my strength and shelter myself from the storms of life

    I feel blessed in meeting you

    You are a true rainbow

    May your beauty shine and your colors stay vibrant through all of life’s weather

    #103089
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Shirley:

    Thank you so much for another poem, for me! I am so glad and I want to be bright-eyed when I read it, first thing tomorrow morning. It is something for me to look forward to. I am excited. Will read it with morning coffee (my favorite time) tomorrow, Friday morning…(happy)

    anita

    #103106
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Der Shirley:

    It is Friday morning and I do have coffee with me. First thing I look at is your post. I know now what a school-based teacher is, thanks.

    And then I read your poem. As I read it, knowing you wrote it about me and for me, I let the words sink in and before I knew it there were some tears in my eyes. It is a beautiful poem. I wouldn’t quote anything from it because all of it is equally as touching and beautiful and I appreciate it deeply. Thank you much for this poem. I believe it is the most beautiful of the poems you wrote to me. I am going to print it nicely so I can see a hard copy of it anytime.

    Like I thought is would be, it is a precious treat for me. Thank you, you made my day and more!

    anita

    #103203
    Janus
    Participant

    thanks anita;) i spent friday and most of saturday doing 30 timelines since there are six time periods in ap world history from foundations to modern each with five countries and after i got done with post-classical, i just winged through pre-modern and modern b/c i was just bored out of my mind. history is just a memorization of facts, organizing them and analyzing them and it doesn’t teach much about how it will apply to real life now. the great thing about pre-calc is that when we learn about calculating interest payments or the exponential growth of a stock over time, i know i will use those in life, but in ap world history i won’t need to know about the wars or the trades in ancient times in life.

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