Dear Helcat,

“for when you notice that your false self arises…you can notice feelings of stress arising in your body… The idea is to notice these feelings in your body one by one and sit with the feeling, give it an opportunity to relax and open up.”

“I would say that the easiest way to tell if you are falling into patterns of your false self would be to reflect on your emotional state. Are you feeling calm? If so, probably not.”

– Does this also go for when I am bored and want to not be? In those moments I do feel slight stress/ resistance to the way I feel. After I have done what I wanted to with a day, and I still have time at the end, I am working on what to do with that time. Right now I find myself turning on the tv, getting chocolate or a glass of wine, but I am starting to notice, I get this boredom at a certain time every day and feel the need to fill it with entertainment or inspiration. Sometimes it is art, which I wonder if that is more productive than a movie and sweets. When my roommate is home it is easy to just talk or do something together. It’s funny I am asking for Shakti, for clarity and more life giving energy, yet I am not sure where to spend it. In those moments of boredom I feel restless, my mind says find something to do! If I just sit there, I feel calm, but unsatisfied. If this feeling of boredom is something that can be solved within, I am not sure how, because I have attempted relaxing and becoming aware of my state of mind, but then I just feel like “now what?”

Do your thoughts remind you of anyone you know? Have you heard something similar before? Remember the absorbing patterns from other people and experiences.

This is interesting, I am going to try and ask these questions when I feel stress. Realizing when a thought isn’t me.

“For example, I value kindness and understanding. But when I’m feeling triggered my thoughts become distrusting, feeling like people are intentionally hurting me and become defensive. You see my pattern of the false self?”

So then reacting out of any past pain is a false self. Does this mean whenever I feel like negativity wants to leave my body, that, is a false self? Does recognizing your false self help you to find your true self? Do you think that at the core, all of our true selves are morally/ and belief aligned? If we see someone acting as a false self, how do we engage with that?

As I read further you said you engage with changing the topic. If you observe that they inevitably wrap back around to something negative, do you remove yourself or try to help them? I wonder if trying to help people in this way is productive at all, or completely not our place?

Seaturtle

Dear Anita,

“– if you don’t disinvite her and suffer her presence during your birthday weekend (enduring her negative, on and on venting, etc.)), then you’d be a bad friend to you, wouldn’t you?”

“And you’d be losing you, wouldn’t you?”

-I want to be a good friend, I want that to be apart of who seaturtle is. So by giving up on her wouldn’t I be going against myself too? I need to learn when I need to let go of someone/something, but recently I gave up someone (you know who). And now I think I don’t want to do it again unless it is so so necessary. I do not want to lose me. I want to find me so that I know what I need to lose… I wonder if it can happen in that order..

 “you are afraid of being your true, assertive self, so you are hoping that she (P) will make the right choice for you.”

You are right. Instead I want to be assertive and kind, and I am going to attempt this. I want to honor my assertive true self.

Seaturtle