Hi Felix,

I haven’t got any advice as such but I just wanted to say how brave you are starting I’ve and how strong you are. Both of those are admirable qualities.

You are right in that humans shouldn’t be alone and it’ also true it’s hard to make friends. Maybe the fact that your life feel a empty now means actually there is room to out what you want in it. It allows you to re design your life. I can see how much you would like a female life partner or a relationship right now but perhaps focus on the rest of the things you want and the rest will follow.

The other things to suggest are things like volunteering etc to meet people but I’m guessing you already know all that (and are doing alot yourself). It may feel like right now you have a lot of big problems and it’ difficult to know how to break them down. Perhaps work with them one at a time,  braking them down into smaller chunks so it feels like there is light at the end of the tunnel. Your step dad or friends or a counsellor could help you do this. I know how it feels to feels so so alone so I do understand your pain right now. Hopefully others will be able to offer better insight and comfort than me. Thinking of you.

Hi Felix,

Nothing is sexier than a Man with a Mission! I know you live in LA, but when women see you volunteering to help kids or take care of puppies, you will be irresistible! Also join a religious or spiritual organization. They do a lot of things in the community, and you will meet other non-superficial people. You may not go out with them but they will definitely help set you up if they know you’re looking.

Surely there are other divorced forty year old guys temporarily in debt out there. I don’t know why you think you’re perceived as a misogynist. If you don’t open your mouth and talk that way they don’t know what you’re thinking, after all. And if they expect you to be rich (and thus pay for everything) aren’t they buying into The Patriarchy, what you infer that they hate? I don’t know, as I’ve never been to LA, but it seems you are trapped by your own mental constructs.

Just remember this Simpson cartoon from when they went to Denmark:

Hot Danish Guy: In my country I’m a Four.

Homer Simpson: In my country I’m a Nine.

You are probably fine!

Inky

Felix,

I believe you now have the opportunity to learn about yourself, improve yourself, try new things and have fun.  Focus on that rather than meeting women for dating.

Workout.  Get back in shape, whether just by walking or go to the gym or whatever.

Take up a hobby.

There are Meetup groups, clubs, adult ed classes, church/temple and community activities where you can try new activities and meet people.

Volunteer.  To get out of yourself, go help another.

Mark