Dear SadSoul: First, before I lose momentum: I AM DONE WITH BEING DUMB!!! Today, June 29, 2024 is the first day of Done with being Dumb Project (DDP) Let me explain yesterday’s dumbness (the answer to your question: “I’m wondering how it came about that you tested bear spray out on yourself?“) Well, I have two dark colored bear spray cans, one with a white safety cap and the other without one. The way you use it is by pressing your thumb on the thing. If you press it by accident, the safety cap prevents an accident, and nothing happens. Many times I took the unsafe can with me and about two times, I pressed it by accident, but the sprayed material was low enough, near the ground, or far enough or I ran in the other direction and my eyes got just a bit irritated. I was a bit scared but the irritation was minimal. Now, a thing I do on my walks (2 routes, about 5 km each) is I take shopping plastic bags with me and collect trash, something I am proud of doing because I keep more than 10 km free from visible trash. The two (could have been 3) times I pressed it by accident before yesterday, happened when I picked up half filled or empty plastic bottles of water or soda. When I did, thinking about reducing the volume of the trash, I remove the cap from the plastic bottles, emptied the bottles, and smashed them. As I applied force to the bottle with one hand, the other hand somehow, automatically applied force to the can of bear spray. Yesterday was the 3rd or 4th time the exact thing happened, but this time, I sprayed more of it, and high above ground, and the plume of dark, scary material enveloped me. (I knew the resident of the house where this happens right outside the private property, so I ran screaming, calling his name, and I was smart enough to untangle the water hose and get water running to my face and eyes, screaming the whole time). Now, the dumbness: I never stopped to think about what the safety cap is about. it’s part of my lifetime ADD: not paying Attention to details. I didn’t learn from past experience (the 2-3 times it happened before), and it occurred to me last night or this morning, FOR THE FIRST TIME, that I have no business opening bottles people throw away (especially the bottles that are difficult to open), for how do I know what’s in them: the contents could be poisonous or explode in my face, so there is the not considering possible consequences for my little actions, sort of operating automatically, without thinking. DDP, Day 1. I went back to bed after posting to you last. there was a tiny bit of burning in my face/ eyes, but mostly burning in areas of my arms and legs (I wore shorts and my legs and arms were exposed to the spray).

You are not dumb. The more I get to know you the more amazing I think you are. Wild adventurous Anita, armed and prepared to face wolves and bears, picking up the garbage that lowly peasants throw by the wayside! However, although not entirely understanding the mechanism by where the bottle emptying triggers the spraying, I’m assuming you carry the bear spray in one hand, always in readiness to slay the dragon, and bottles are a two handed job?

I grew up being taught never to take lollies from strangers because they will have put drugs in them. Also that my mother would put drugs in our food when she finally visited us when I was 10. I didn’t know what drugs were, but I knew they were terrifying and from the devil, so it was all really frightening meeting this stranger woman, and then five minutes later being left with her for six weeks. I only just now had a thought, how evil it was to tell two small children they were going to have drugs sneakily administered to them by a woman they didn’t know called mum, and that they had to be responsible to ensure this didn’t happen. People suck. Also, I can’t quite fathom that I’ve accepted so much of my childhood without a second thought. And I’m glad I didn’t understand most of the manipulative side of it like the above. This ties in with the contents of the flagons you empty along your journeys, just in case my wandering mind makes no sense to you.

Aaaah. Back to your amazingness! My stomach churned reading a more detailed story. No Anita! No! The bear spray is sneaking up on you!

Uneducated me didn’t have much if an idea of the magnificence of bear spray, but now armed with the knowledge of your first hand experiences, it truly is taking the sword of David on your adventures!

“Oh girl. I had never heard of bear spray till meeting you and now I’m terrified of it“- I can’t even look at it. “I’m sorry I laughed… just made me feel happy and laughy“- I liked your reaction because it complimented me, that I could be positive about it. “Well there I go again, accidentally deleting a huge reply,.. In other news, I am so technically challenged..“- project DTD (Done with being Technically Dumb)?

I doubt I’m done with DTD 😭

“I hope you don’t wake up with secondary problems from it“- not right now. I imagine that the developers of bear spray developed it to not cause secondary/ permanent problems to the customers using the spray because even when used correctly, some of it will get on the person, especially when there’s a bit of wind. From yesterday:

So next time to encounter a savage beast at least you’ll go to sleep knowing there was no secondary damage done. Much better than an actual sword!

“I’m sad and my heart is breaking today. Too much happened in last week and it overwhelmed me… My partner saw a goat and got a fright and jumped. Wtf? I’m starting to hurt but luckily I landed softly“- a big part of my DDP is to no longer rely on luck and instead: prevent preventable problems (like bear spray and thrown-away bottle contents exploding in my face!), to pay attention to details that matter, to not overreact emotionally (feeling overwhelmed) and to not overreact behaviorally (like your partner who jumped). done-with-being-dumb anita

One day, not in this forum where the whole world can read my everything, I’ll tell you a bit more about my partner and they won’t seem so dum.

I think you’re wise not to empty the flagons. Not many with be filled with radioactive material, but upon listening to the boys at work, they often wee into bottles to save stopping on long journeys. I’m an utterly grotted out my this ugly revelation, but let’s say there was some pink fizzy drink in the bottom of said bottle, add a wee, it’s still going to be pink…

Today is a lovely day. There is hope in the sounds of the birds singing away, the breeze is warm and whispers of things to come. Absolutely wonderful. Yup, bipolar SadSoul – no I’m not, just to clarify, but it’s in total opposition to how I felt yesterday. Perhaps taking my SadSoul in both hands and doing my sport, doing a few other things as well, perhaps I am responding to this cognitive therapy I inflict on myself?

How are you today, dear friend Anita? I think your day might be coming to an end at this time. Have you had a good day after such a bad one? YOU ARE NOT DUMB! So very far from it. Accidents and absent mindedness don’t make a person dumb. I do totally understand the need to not repeat it though. You amazing woman!

You’re rubbing off on me. DWTD 😂

Also I don’t believe I typed the word *already* so I’m going to blame stupid phone again

Oh no! I must have given you the pox by association online.

I’m my mind I’m making you dinners of braised chicken in onion gravy, baked potatoes with lots of butter, cheese, and sour cream, and steamed carrots broccoli and cauliflower. That’s what I had every night when I was sick because I had the chicken already cooked in the freezer. My phone corrected steamed to stabbed, which is okay by me if that’s what you think of veggies 😂

Could it be from the bear spray? I know, probably not, bear spray isn’t designed to give bears the flu as a follow up deterrent for trying to eat people.

I will share my delightful morning with you on the hopes it brightens yours: the sky is clouding over in preparation for the forecast rain – how unusual more rain hmmmph, the birds are whispering to each other – an odd thing when rain is on the way, as they usually tell when this is going to happen. I have two of my floofs perched on me in utter horror at how cold they think it is, although it is not cold at all. The coffee is fantastic, although I must have done something wrong with the prep of it because it spat out of every fitting in the pot it could find, so my clean stove top is no more 😂 And so far I’m not late for anything.

One of the things I managed to not post yesterday was that a met a girl who lived in the road I used to do my sport on, in a whole other country, while I was. growing up and at the same time, although I imagine she was a fully fledged adult whereas I was a kid. To add to the unlikely chances of this, she is also mad crazy about my sport, although I don’t think she participates in it anymore. I asked her the things people seem to ask at a first meeting – I’m not very good at creating conversation odd seeing as I don’t think I do too badly when writing to you, like where do you work, and she works two jobs, 15 hours a day across them, 6 days a week. I stupidly asked who did she kill and what ransom was she paying to cover it up. Turned out her young daughter died last year and she’s keeping busy. Oooh. Now I’m crying for her. The point of this, apart from what are the chances you meet someone from meine home country who not only came from a similar area but the same suburb one street over kind if thing, is that I feel like my problems are nothing next to what she’s working 15 hours a day to get through. Occasionally I’ve considered that the world couldn’t throw much more at me, but it absolutely could.

There was just a little sunshower accompanied by a bird close by yelling, ‘run, get inside people, you’ll get wet!’ The rest of the birds ignored him because it was only a sprinkle.

I hope you don’t come down with the pox too badly. Actually, I hope it’s a false alarm! If there was anything I could get you, I would. I hope you’re able to rest up, dear Anita. I. hope your world has room in it for being able to take time out to do this.

The sun is shining again and I can’t decide if the weather report has any truth in it. It’s warm on my cheek and I would love to stay a while longer, but alas, I must fly! I’m late now 😂 cross your fingers I find the submit button and and don’t lose this long narrative!