thank you. Sparrows are going to be part of my next poem to you.

I’m very bad at poems. Also, you’re the only person who’s ever written them for me 🌷☺️

ou write so well.. You are a poet and you don’t know it. Thank you. No one ever said anything like this to me.

You’re welcome although I’m not 100% sure why 😂

avoid the d*** whenever possible. It’s when you can’t, or they keep coming back to haunt you, that you (I) have to speak up, and I will..!!!!!

I look forward to the update – also, I don’t think any points are earned for dramatic performances, the most valuable things are said quietly and thoughtfully. I’m going through my repotoire of people who have the confidence to speak up, and the loud ones literally mean zero to me and anyone else the are loud at. It’s the quiet thoughtful messages that mean something. Even when they don’t mean something to the person intended, they mean something to the others standing by. So don’t feel under pressure to speak in any particular way, few words said quietly if you can manage it, or if they come out loud and emotional that’s good too, if they don’t come out at all then at least you thought them. And you are starting to actualise taking care of you by thinking about these things, planning them, and recognising that person is unhealthy for you.

It’s like a person stabbing another and then complaining that their victim is bleeding.

This is an excellent analogy!

“…Actually, both sides of me are gutless!”– funny, funny SadSoul.

I’m not joking 😂 I’m definitely the one that wins every confrontation by a country mile.

if you are interviewing for the position of my SUPER, the interview is progressing well.

Unfortunately words often desert me but on the odd occasion they come with the greatest of ease 😂

I am looking forward to your thoughts on the matter some time later, Your typos are scused, good reading from you this late afternoon (here), Good night (I assume it’s there).

I think I kinda covered it above. I’m starting to think that verbalising isn’t the only solution. Protecting one’s self is an action, which can involve words that confront a situation, but mostly it involves keeping one’s self out of harm’s way. I mean, you didn’t get to tell the coyote it was behaving disrespectfully, safety was gained through actions, so maybe it’s not always essential to tell people. Unless the person is in your life a lot, and you can’t avoid them, and you can’t find a way to put their stupidity out of your personal bubble, then you have to speak!

I love your poem. You are good, don’t have a broken heart anymore, that woman wasn’t a mother, she was a monster. You didn’t get from her what you deserved, and although I’m not a perfect mother, I have tried my damndest to do better and to understand what children need. They need love, respect, food, clothing, a roof over their head. You deserved these things. I wish I could scoop little Anita up and whisk her away. Give her the calm acceptance, the acknowledgement and support, and the love and praise she deserved. You are not bad, try so very hard to accept that is your egg donour’s opinion but it is not the truth. It’s her projecting herself onto you so she doesn’t have to look at herself.

No, no no no! You didn’t fail. My mind went off on a tangent and I found a piece of healing in that little wander. I do that a bit, get side tracked with my own shizz. Must be the alzheimer’s kicking in. The other thing that I do is take a day or so for things to settle into my thoughts when they’re new to me. I’m still rolling the ideas around like a lemon flavoured lolly, savouring the sweetness of the sounds of the sentences, but feeling mixed up in the pit of my stomach because – because – because. Because I’ve never thought them before. Because I’m entrenched in my mindset and it never occurred to me I could think differently. Because it is taking some space to realise I have a growth opportunity here that I’ve never recognised. Thank you for calling me out on this.

I will have to turn my computer on to reply adequately as my phone is garbage for being able to copy and paste and all of that. It ends up not making sense or meaning differently to what I’m trying to say if I can’t see it all properly.

This is something you wrote the other day that I thoroughly enjoyed reading – hold onto your hat, I copied and pasted on my phone 😂

The  sun is bright outside, the trees and grass so green (in front of me, seen through the open window). Life as usual, it was always there no matter how dead I felt. Ah, life, a magnificent thing, life seeking life. I am seeking life. I let go of my past, I let it go. I no longer identify with my past. I now identify with life, everything’s life, everyone’s life, just.. Life.

I loved this. As I listen to the sounds of the animal kingdom living, the wind in the trees whispering of the living they’ve seen, the warmth in the air, the gentle yet powerful rhythms that the blessed non human things in this world live every day. This is where I need to stop before I make a negative observation about humans 😂 see! I’m so very torn between positivity and negativity. Need courage to let go.

you must be older than I am, lol. (aka haha)

That is a possibility. As I sit here contemplating all my grey hair 😂

… your accent.

It’s a very boring this accent 😂

anita (no s in my name, disappointed-face-emoji))

None in my RL name either so I’ll share your disappointment 😜

I have a young friend whose phone is very old, so when I text message, I have to write what emoji I would have sent. This reminds me of that. I’m just touching base in the very most horrible busy part of the week. I want to retire but I didn’t hatch any golden eggs in my younger days. I observe the world, driving around in vehicles that cost twice what I earn in a year, young people, old people, people going overseas or off to the city for a weekend, and I’ve never managed this kind of thing. My car costs about what most people earn in a week 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 I used to be able to say at least the engine was good but that’s clapping out too. My poor little go-go mobile, even I’m thinking I need to stop fixing it and use it towards another one. Except my priorities aren’t car focused, I want other things!

Soz this was totally unrelated to my emotional state. I hope you’re relaxed in your cosy lounge room, enjoying a cup of something that makes your heart sing – for me that’s coffee! For you I think that might be a glass of. !!got given a nice bottle of red last week from someone I work alongside. Didn’t have the heart to tell them it’ll go well in a nice bolognaise 😂 or maybe I’ll regift it to someone like yourself who’ll enjoy its lovely delights. Aaaah! I’m going to make mulled wine! Then I can sit in the lounge room all cosy.

Till tomorrow, or the day after 🌸

PS I read your other thread. It’s good to get it out and on paper. I wondered though, where was your father in all this?? Sorry if that’s too personal.

I just wrote a big reply and when trying to find the path button closed the page on my phone. I’m quite disappointed about this but I’m going to assume it’s what the universe wanted. So I’m going to shut here cranky grouchy grrrr.

Hello and how are you?