I share your pessimism about the chances of meeting a man who is single, not on the rebound, not hung up on another woman, and who is “looking for genuine connection & commitment”-
– “what are my chances of meeting one of these men?”- not great, a small chance, I say, but the good news is that there is a chance, however small and the best news is that you need only one of these men.
You wrote: “Men have chosen other women over me, before so I find it hard to imagine anybody wanting me when they could have someone younger”-
– some men don’t want a younger woman, quite a few get into relationships with older women. My grandfather for example married a woman ten years older than him and they lived… happily or unhappily ever after till death did them apart.
You have a chance, Holly. If you approach dating in a scientific way, considering the chances and the best ways to go about choosing and proceeding, you can do well for yourself.