Hello Alexa05,

I’ve known couples who divorce and do so amicably.  My brother did a lot of stuff for his ex-wife after they were divorced, but they had two boys, and my brother did these things as much for the boys as for his ex-wife.

In your situation, the bottom line is…you are not comfortable with the level of communication he has with his ex-wife.  The fact that he didn’t take the call in front of you, and sleeping at his ex-wife’s place when he went back to his hometown…this does all seem odd to me.  I would wonder why he couldn’t talk in front of me, and I would also feel very uncomfortable about sleeping at the ex-wife’s place.

If you “keep it this way and don’t stir the pot anymore” he won’t have any reason to change.  If you force the issue – because it’s what you want in your relationship – then he will know where you stand and you will know very soon if he is able to make the changes or not.

People usually do what they want to do.  If he wants to change the relationship with his ex-wife to make the relationship he has with you better, then he will do it.  But if he wants to stay connected to his ex-wife, then he will find excuses and reasons to continue to do so.

Best of luck to you.

Airene

Hello Alexa05,

I am wondering why you only see each other on weekends?

If he thinks answering in front of you will cause his ex-wife to create drama, then it seems to me he isn’t ready for a serious relationship.  That he needs to clean up some of the loose ends with his ex-wife.  Either that, or you need to be ready to deal with his ex-wife’s interference for the long term.

Just my thoughts.

Airene