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Regret for ex girlfriend

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This topic contains 11 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  anita 9 months, 3 weeks ago.

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  • #224671

    Yohanes
    Participant

    Hi All

    Just wanna share something’s. I just broke up with the girl. I broke up because my fault. I was angry with her and shout to her about bad things. She is actually caring girl.

    So i just come to her house to apologize to her and her mother. I tried to meet her in person to say Im sorry. She doesn’t want to meet me.

    Until now the regret always haunting me. I always blame myself. I tried to hurt my self.

    #224683

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Yohanes:

    Tell me more, will you? What were you angry about and when you shouted at her, what were the words you shouted at her?

    anita

    #224765

    Yohanes
    Participant

    Hi Anita

    I love her really much. She said she loves me aslo. She always said she loves me very much.

    So in my office i have some issue they think i was cheating so I planned to resign from my job. I dont have any plan about my future. I was so worried. I worried i dont have any earning but still i need money for our future.

    So I have to hand over my job to my partner. The client was in outside of town. So i drive with my partner. My partner got sick and shout at me for no reason so I get down from the car and plan to take bus.

    I took the bus to her office to met her because I think she can confort me. With all the problem i said can i go to your office?

    She said yes. After i arrived at her office she text me why you have your ex pictures in your instagram. I forgot to delete the picture because it was from 2 years ago.

    I got angra and said why you adding more suffer to me. I block her and got drunk. In my drunk time i text her like this

    1. I hate you if you come to my house i will sent you out.

    2. I hate you really much.

    3. I said bad word to her. Im forgot because i was to drunk.

    Right now she doesn’t want to meet me and i full of regret.

     

     

    #224769

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Yohanes:

    “My partner got sick and shout at me for no reason”- you are referring to your work partner, not your girlfriend, I understand.

    You were very distressed over the work issue, went to your girlfriend looking for comfort but instead of comfort she accused you of wrongdoing for having pictures of your ex girlfriend on your phone from two years before, pictures you forgot to delete.

    You then got angry at your girlfriend, got drunk and messaged her that you hate her.

    Question: those pictures on your phone, was that the first time your girlfriend mentioned them or did she ask you before to delete them and you didn’t? Also, how did she manage to see those pictures: did she look into your phone without your knowledge?

    anita

     

    #224777

    Yohanes
    Participant

    Dear anita

    It was on my line home line and Instagram.

    Yes she already told me to delete all my ex pitures but i forgot to delete one picture.

    It was only the shadow pictures not whole face. Anita do you have any whatssap or line number? I would like to talk with you.

    I am so stupid that time and I have some questions. She said she loves me very much.

    I admit i am wrong but why cant she forgive me and start with new fresh. I can change.

     

    Regards

    Yohanes

    #224781

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Yohanes:

    No, I don’t have whatssap and I don’t communicate with members outside these Forums.

    I understand that she told you that she loves you very much but I don’t know if that means that you are the guilty one in the relationship and she is the innocent one. I don’t know if part of that love of hers, she keeps blaming you for supposed wrongs. If she does, that behavior is not loving.

    If you want to elaborate on her behavior toward you here on your thread, to look into whether it is loving, or not, and to whether you are the only one needing to change in this relationship (“I can change”), please do.

    anita

    #224795

    Yohanes
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    She blocked me and didn’t want to talk with me anymore.

    Well you make me think. If shes the one maybe she should forgive me and willing to start fresh. Maybe if she loves me unconditionally.

    The main problem is I still regret.

    Every day always do same.

    I wish i was blablabla when Im still with her.

    I wiah i was taking care of her more than i should have.

    And it was haunting me. I have tried to suicide by cutting my hand. Everyday i got drunk. I didn’t take care of my life.

    #224799

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Yohanes:

    I think it is a good thing that I make you think. I understand you regret things you said and did, but likely you are not the only one in this relationship who said and did the wrong things. There is hope or you because you can learn from this relationship and make better choices in the future.

    You can choose a girlfriend better, see to it that the two of you have the same goal in the relationship and that the two of you are able to be loving toward each other, not  only in words, but in behavior.

    Maybe you should  seek counseling/ psychotherapy so to process what happened and see hope for your future.

    anita

    #225123

    Yohanes
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    So yesterday i went home driving to my house. I know my ex activity that she always took the bus in front my house.

    I went infront my house and waiting for the bus. I pick the bus and there she is. She panicked like I am a serial killer or like she saw the Demon. I told her i just need 5 min to tell her that I am sorry and i wont disturb her anymore.

    She called the assistant driver to kick me out from the bus. I told the assistant driver I will go down infront.

    I just said to her im sorry and she drive out me. Just like people who say go away you animal. The point is she treat me like an animal. Shoooo shoo with the hand gesture.

    I just go down from the bus and said i love you and im really sorry about the things that have done.

    So i just walked home with a really broken heart.  I tried to fix things but why i cannot fix this matter.

    She used love me more than she love her self. She always said her love always stand still for me.

     

    #225175

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Yohanes:

    It is way better that you indeed give up all hope for a relationship with her, that you don’t attempt any contact with her.

    Learn best you can what you need to learn, so that the next relationship will work out for you and for your future girlfriend. Whatever it is that you have done (“I’m really sorry about the things that have done”), if those were the wrong things to do, do not repeat those in your next relationship.

    If you want to list those things you were referring to (“things that have done”), please do and we can look at one thing at a time and determine if it was wrong.

    anita

    #227755

    Yohanes
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    I wanaa said Im really sorry that i don’t listen to you.

    So you said to me that i should stay away from her.

    I have things in my mind that said if you wanna make peace with your past you have to make things right. So once again today I went to her working place. To say Im sorry and I hope we dont have any hard feelings.

    When I saw her she scram and called the police that I make serious threat to her. Now The police are looking for me. I have no idea whats going wrong mam.

    Regards

    Yohanes

    #227771

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Yohanes:

    I hope you have what it takes to stay away from her, to not approach her anywhere, at the bus stop, at her work place, nowhere at all. I hope you can and that you will be able to convince the police of your intent to not attempt to contact her. I suppose there will be a record now with the police, and if you try to contact her again, you may end up in jail.

    Number one priority is then that you stop contacting her.

    You didn’t mention a behavior that explains to me the extent of her expressed fear of you, maybe it was the things you said to her when you were drunk, things you don’t remember saying. Which brings me to second priority behavior on your part- stop getting drunk, stop drinking so much that you forget what you say or do. If it takes no longer drinking at all, stop drinking altogether.

    I hope you focus on recovering your mind, your heart and your life from the devastations you recently experienced at work and in your relationship with now your ex- girlfriend.

    Do post again anytime you’d like. I want to read what happens with the police looking for you.

    anita

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