Hi James

You raise an interesting point. What is our dress? 👗 I will reflect on that some. 🩵

Immediately, I think pride for me. An unwillingness to not provide for my son to a high standard. Parents are forced into this reality all the time. Losing loved ones. Something else that people are forced into. Attachment. Aversion to suffering. Aversion to conflict. Aversion to being judged. Aversion to loneliness. Normal things. Human things.

I have a question. What if belief in a higher power and fate being in their hands doesn’t provide complete comfort? Of course, it provides some. It is all god’s plan, but I don’t understand it. Part of me still blames god a little for the imprint of suffering his plans have left on me. I suppose we all suffer, it is the human condition. I suffer less than others, that is a blessing. Why must we all suffer? To learn, to love? I don’t know. 🩵

Hi James

I appreciate your enthusiasm. Whilst in some cases that can be true, in others I disagree. 🩵

Some things happen that just cause massive amounts of suffering.

Some people suffer when they want a baby and can’t have one, others don’t. People suffer at different levels with health issues. Some people value wealth and some people don’t. Eventually, once people get ill enough they suffer.

I don’t think anyone is suggesting that people traumatised by war experience PTSD because of expectations. Some things are just horrific to experience.

I think it’s not so much expectations that bother me, trauma is what bothers me. I experienced a huge amount of suffering as a child. I can’t protect my son from suffering. I can only try my best, but some things are out of my control. If I can make his life a little more gentle, a little softer, a little kinder. That is my job as a parent because things will happen that hurt at some point in his life. It is the way of the world. 🌎

Are people wrong to care about what they care about? Most people will never be enlightened in their lifetime. It is natural for them to feel the way that they do. I cannot say that someone is wrong for wishing they could have a baby. For grieving for their loved ones.

There are no answers for why the innocent experience immense suffering. 🩵

I think I might understand what you mean by spirit. 🩵

Hi James

A world where atrocities are not seen as right or wrong sounds pretty bleak. So it is just nature to commit atrocities? It seems kind of unhealthy. 🩵

You don’t need to explain yourself. 🩵

And sometimes the body chooses to speak through ego. Apparently, it serves an essential function.

I wasn’t going to ask. 😊

Hi James

Thank you for explaining. It helps to connect the senses, pain, gratitude and helping. Gratitude and helping are my language. 🩵

And yes, I have been worrying about the future with my child. He will start to make his own way in the world and I won’t be able to protect him. He will go through suffering. As a parent, this doesn’t sit right with me. I am used to suffering. I would not want him to suffer. Maybe this comes from a deep seated wish to erase the suffering I experienced as a child. I don’t want him to suffer as I did. I hope that he suffers much less. No child deserves suffering. 🩵

Thank you for helping! 🩵

Hi Everyone:

I’d like to share my study this morning:

Non‑dual means “not two.” In traditions like BUDDHISM and ADVAITA VEDANTA (I’d refer to it as AVE), both originated in India, reality is seen as one unified whole. The division between “me” and “the world,” or “good” and “bad,” is considered a mental construction.

From this view, pain itself may exist, but the suffering comes from the mind’s stories — expectations, judgments, and resistance. For example: You feel pain in your body. That’s real. But when the mind says, “This shouldn’t be happening, I’ll never be happy again,” that’s where suffering multiplies.

The “ego” here means the sense of a separate self that clings to desires and fears. If you let go of that clinging, the suffering dissolves, even if pain remains.

In non‑dual philosophy, everything that happens is seen as part of the whole. Judging events as “right” or “wrong” is considered an ego activity — it divides reality into categories. Example: A storm destroys a village. From a human perspective, that’s tragic. From a non‑dual perspective, it’s simply “what is.” The storm isn’t morally wrong; it’s part of nature.

Some mystics extend this to say even atrocities are “just what is.” This is where it becomes controversial, because it can sound like excusing harm. To someone living through trauma, saying “there is no right or wrong” can feel dismissive or dangerous.

Buddhism and AVE both talk about suffering and “right/wrong,” but they approach it differently:

* Buddhism- The Buddha taught that suffering (dukka) is real and comes from desire, craving, and attachment. Buddhism does not deny morality. In fact, it emphasizes ethical living through the Five Precepts and the Eightfold Path (right view, right speech, right action, etc.). The Key idea: Suffering can be reduced by living ethically, practicing mindfulness, and letting go of unhealthy desires. Buddhism says: “Yes, suffering exists. Live ethically and mindfully to ease it.”

* AVE- it teaches that from the highest perspective/ from the ULTIMATE LEVEL, everything is Brahman- pure consciousness; the absolute reality. Good and bad are distinctions made by the mind, but in truth, all is one. Suffering comes from ignorance — believing we are separate individuals rather than part of one universal consciousness. From this perspective, distinctions like “good” and “evil,” “criminal” and “victim,” are part of māyā (illusion). They don’t exist in the absolute sense because all is one.
AVE also recognizes the vyavahārika satya (“conventional truth”), which is the everyday world we live in. In this realm, karma, dharma, and ethics still apply. People are held responsible for their actions, and justice matters.
Śaṅkara (the key AVE philosopher) himself emphasized that while ultimate reality is non‑dual, in daily life one must follow ethical duties (dharma) and social responsibilities. AVE says: “Suffering seems to exist, but ultimately it’s illusion. Realize your true Self and it disappears.” It does not encourage ignoring or excusing atrocities. Instead, it says: “On the highest level, good and evil dissolve into oneness.” On the everyday level, ethical responsibility and justice remain essential.

This two‑tiered view (ultimate vs. conventional truth) is similar to Buddhism’s distinction between absolute truth and relative truth. It distinguishes between two levels of truth: the ultimate (absolute) and the conventional (everyday). At the ultimate level, all distinctions dissolve into oneness, but at the conventional level, ethical duties and justice remain essential.

Think of Brahman as the ocean. Waves can be calm or violent, but the ocean itself is not “good” or “evil.” It simply is. Human suffering and atrocities are like stormy waves — real at the surface, but ultimately part of the same ocean.

* In Christianity, God is wholly good and ethics matter always; moral responsibility is central. in AVE, Brahman is beyond good/evil categories. Ethics matter in daily life, but dissolve at ultimate level.

Mystics often say: Live by relative truth, realize ultimate truth.

A simple analogy- Think of a movie:
Relative truth: The story, characters, and drama are real while you’re watching.
Ultimate truth: Behind it all, it’s just light on a screen. (The Blank Canvas, Peter).

In short: Relative truth is the world of appearances and ethics; ultimate truth is the deeper reality where dualities dissolve. Both are valid, but they operate at different levels.

AVE Advaita emphasizes vairāgya (detachment). This doesn’t mean indifference, but freedom from being emotionally tossed around by ups and downs. You can feel calm even in difficult situations.

In Buddhism, non‑duality (emptiness, śūnyatā) means no one exists independently. This insight often leads to greater compassion: if all beings are interconnected, helping others feels natural. Non‑duality dissolves the feeling of isolation. Believers often describe feeling “at home” in the universe, connected to everything and everyone.

Emotional benefits: If you believe that your true self (Ātman in Advaita, or awareness in Buddhism) is beyond birth and death, then fear of loss, illness, or even death lessens. You see these as temporary appearances, not ultimate reality. Non‑duality teaches that clinging to “me vs. you,” “success vs. failure,” or “gain vs. loss” creates suffering. Realizing that all is one helps loosen these attachments, bringing emotional balance.

Believing in non‑duality doesn’t erase pain, but it changes the emotional relationship to pain and joy. Instead of being trapped in fear, grief, or attachment, you cultivate calm, compassion, and a sense of unity.

End of study.

🤍 Anita

Hi Alessa

The Tibetans revere their mothers. In texts the talk of being like a mother looking after their only child. Protective & loving to understand how much a mother goes thru & how we should be grateful for their tender loving care. This often does not sit well nowadays particularly in the west because of all the instances of neglect ( is it a symptom of the modern world? easy access to drugs & alcohol etc). The older I get the better I appreciate & understand my mother & try to mimic her kindness & generosity & when I notice my mind sounds like her negativity, I consciously pause, to do a reset to how I aspire to be. So even many years after her death she remains one of my precious teachers.
Best wishes