Home→Forums→Relationships→Need advice asap
- This topic has 869 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 4 years, 1 month ago by
Anonymous.
-
AuthorPosts
-
July 12, 2019 at 11:13 am #303031
lindseyParticipantAnita,
Very true. You always make me feel better. I don’t feel bad about it. It was kind of relaxing if that makes since. No pressure.
Lindsey
July 12, 2019 at 11:43 am #303039
AnonymousGuestDear Lindsey:
I am glad you feel better. Take it easy the rest of the day and enjoy the pool this weekend, best place to be when it is hot, pool or at the beach, protected from the sun though, limit exposure and don’t forget sunscreen. I will be car camping tomorrow, have a thick steak cooked in the fire tomorrow evening, ancient times style, and sleep in a tent. It will be in the fifties at night, so not hot.
anita
July 12, 2019 at 2:50 pm #303073lindseyParticipantAnita,
I will try my best. Camping sounds very fun I hope you have a good time. Talk soon-
Lindsey
July 12, 2019 at 3:27 pm #303081AnonymousGuestDear Lindsey:
I will be back to the computer for a short while Sat morning, then gone camping and back to the computer Monday morning, hope to read about your weekend and will tell you about mine Monday.
anita
July 15, 2019 at 7:05 am #303335lindseyParticipantAnita,
How was the camping trip?
My weekend was pretty relaxed. Saturday the kids and I were at the pool all day long and stopped for dinner on the way home. We went to bed really early and I dropped the kids off Sunday with their dad. My Sunday was pretty relaxing. I ran some errands, walked and took a nap, then cleaned house and made food for the week. I texted K later in the afternoon to maybe come over later in the evening to watch the season finale of Stranger Things. He replied right away but I had a feeling he would say no. (If he does not initiate the plans they don’t really happen) He said maybe it had been a long weekend lots of drama from a cookout Saturday. He snap chatted later showing a horrible sun burn to part of his face b/c he wore a headband….maybe that’s why he said no. It was pretty bad lol.
I was proud of myself for no anxiety or worry or OCD thoughts. I was kind of like whatever. I feel like my anxiety is getting better as time goes by. I’m hoping this will continue and it’s not just that I am having a good period for a few months.
Lindsey
July 15, 2019 at 7:17 am #303339AnonymousGuestDear Lindsey:
Your weekend is proof that it is possible for you to have a relaxing weekend and all these recent days are proof that you can experience lesser anxiety and more calm. When you feel anxious again, don’t get alarmed, thinking something like: I knew it will not last! Instead say to yourself something like: anxiety goes up and down, now it is up a bit but I can take it down, after all I know it is possible for me. I can make it happen again. Repeat the behaviors that brought you calm before and avoid the behaviors that increased your anxiety before.
My camping trip was fine and dandy, didn’t do a lot of hiking, even less than my daily hike where I live (in the woods, really). It was nice to have time stop with nothing-happening, had the best Sunday brunch cooked over the fire (and Saturday dinner as well), was incredible to be so close to glaciers, in July, had a couple of scares being in such high elevation.
anita
July 15, 2019 at 8:02 am #303347
RosalindParticipantAbsolutely; what Mark wrote!
R
July 15, 2019 at 10:42 am #303417lindseyParticipantAnita,
This camping trip sounds amazing….and peaceful. I am glad you had a good time.
I am a little frustrated. I feel like the only time K wants to hang out is only if he initiates the plans. None of this is surprising just frustrating. I don’t feel like I’m ready for a boyfriend so my feelings for him in general go up and down. My impression of his feelings for me also change week by week lol. Any advise?
Lindsey
July 15, 2019 at 10:46 am #303419lindseyParticipantadd-on:
I just feel stupid. stupid. stupid. It’s like he would rather stay at home on his computer or be by himself than hang out with anyone or me for that matter.
Lindsey
July 15, 2019 at 10:56 am #303425AnonymousGuestDear Lindsey:
Can you imagine: there is a man out there at this very moment who would want to spend time with you instead of being at home on his computer or by himself or hang out with other people, a man who would have chosen to be with you. And would have initiated getting together with you.
Just so happens it is not K.
anita
July 15, 2019 at 11:00 am #303429lindseyParticipantAnita,
I know. I’ve known. I just momentarily get my hopes up and then they of course come crashing down. And then I feel bad about myself. Which I shouldn’t but I do anyway.
Lindsey
July 15, 2019 at 11:51 am #303445AnonymousGuestDear Lindsey:
Try this then: when your hopes go up (like when happened when he fell asleep on your lap the other evening), rein them down, don’t try to have no hopes, but lower them. That way hope will not “come crashing down”, instead, there will be a gentle thump when they come down.
anita
July 15, 2019 at 12:32 pm #303449lindseyParticipantAnita,
Very good idea. I will work on that. Thank you. I was feeling down until I read your post.
Lindsey
July 15, 2019 at 12:39 pm #303451AnonymousGuestDear Lindsey:
I am glad you are feeling better. Post anytime. If I am at the computer, I will reply.
anita
July 16, 2019 at 2:53 pm #303629lindseyParticipantAnita,
I’m definitely starting to get my own routine and my anxiety is low. I’m going to hang out with an old friend this weekend that I have not seen in awhile. She is my age and lives in a town about an hour away. There are events this weekend in our town so I think we will have fun.
Regarding K. We were talking earlier and I said that I was glad we were friends and that I would never push for more because we have both had some bad luck in the past. (He mentioned some issues with another ex girlfriend.) He said he was glad I understood because he could not see himself in a relationship right now.
I’m aware I’m not ready for a relationship but I feel a little annoyed when I think about how he worded it. Almost like I was pursuing more when really I was not. I don’t know maybe I am reading more into it.
Lindsey
-
AuthorPosts
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 