When I read “It helped you when nothing (and no one) else did.” it make me burst into tears since I kind of guessed, now Anita will compare yoga into something and that will make brilliant sense.

You didn’t mind sharing it with people whom you believed could benefit from it, but this woman, this frenemy, as you refer to her, already has SO MUCH. Why does she want to take away from you the one thing that is yours?

I guess I just wanted my yoga to stay calm, without any interference. And she asked me a few questions while doing it, like, can you do that pose, can you do that one, or this one. Then I realized over the years, I’ve just did my practices without trying to do more. Just what I was comfy with, nothing more. I felt a bit bad about it, but when you think about it, I have no reason to be ambitious on those practices. Whatever I feel like doing should be okay. I felt like she was able to do some poses and then compared herself to me. I’ll try to forget this ever happened and ignore the upcoming questions.

What I see- based on our years-long communication- is a person who has had a weak sense of self, a weak identity for too long. This other woman has a strong sense of identity (however flawed): she thinks very highly of herself, and this is something that you don’t have, but wish you did.

This made me want to take a note of it. I don’t know how to correct this but I can sometimes just hide, in terms of what I feel. Then I earn for new ways to express those hidden feelings. Maybe in the past, I never expressed them. But now, I really want to express and I am not sure but I might’ve been even passive aggressive about some stuff, which I actually hate and cannot stand in other people. I will observe myself.

Dear Anita,

As for being passive aggressive, I guess I just mixed those with my toxic thoughts in my head. I don’t show them, or behave with them. The worst thing I do can be just keeping an information or stuff to myself, and not sharing. But when I stop questioning that and don’t observe, I remember how bad I can think of some people and not show them that. Then I feel a bit like a hypocrite. Maybe that’s what confuses me and makes me think of myself as a passive aggressive person.

I guess we need to remember that the sides that we don’t like about ourselves also exist on others, and they do not share it. Thanks for sharing what you think about this and relieving my thoughts about myself.

Dear Peter,

I couldn’t quite understand your question. Are you reminding me of how this person challenged me in physical aspects rather than the mental aspects of yoga which I care about?