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My case is weird,but I really need help.

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This topic contains 5 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Gary 10 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #224735

    Lunesis
    Participant

    Hello everybody,I hope you are doing all fine.

    I write there because I am going through a tough time…I am getting to the point,here is m situation .

     

    Since my childhood I’ve been feeling very much nostalgic like I miss strongly someone I never knew or met….Then I got the feeling that I was adopted but I am not.

    Now I’ve grown up but I am still feeling the same but stronger,sometimes I just lock myself in my room and feel extremely sad and missing ‘them’ ,I even burst out from tears.It feels like I am from a very far place which I’ve left my family there and keep missing them everyday…

    I also feel that each day passing they are waiting for me to ‘come back’ but I don’t know how and who they are,I also feel like if I go where they are I’ll also meet my soulmate there .I feel very sad to see that I cannot join them and I keep feeling strongly nostalgic ,sometimes there are some places or songs I hear that makes those feelings stronger,I also got déjà-vu too and sometimes even seeing things …2 days ago I was in my room hearing music and dancing but suddenly I stopped as I saw like I was in another room,it was very much beautiful and I felt like it was very familiar suddenly I went back to my state.

    To be honest I have no problems with my parents,they actually love me a lot and my mother is very sweet,but every day the feelings I sense make me feel even more sad,because even if my parents love me I feel like I am only thankful to them for taking care of me before going back to ‘them’…I try myself everyday to love my parents but I cannot get the feeling that I will never love them as I do with that ‘family’..It is totally unique.

    Is it what they call a ‘spiritual Adoption’ ? Do you guys feel also that way?

    I am looking forward for your answers ! Have a good day! : )

    #224739

    Prash
    Participant

    Dear Lunesis,

    You may be able to find your answers in your day to day situation. You may have to question yourself hard about what is it that you are missing in your current situation, try and get a specific answer as to what you are expecting out of the relationship that you are expecting to go back to.

    Being sad and locking yourself up is unlikely to help you. Looking for these answers may help you; maybe the relationships that you seek is what you already have or what you are likely to get when you start going out.

    Take care

    #224745

    Lunesis
    Participant

    Dear Prash,

    First of all I would like to thank you for your answer : ).

    About that,I’ve been asking myself lot of questions and observed my daily life,I also talked about it a little to my parents,I only talked of one part that they showed misunderstandings so I stopped from talking about it to them.

    Of course I tried many times to talk with them about it but it always turned to argues and I got very well that they couldn’t understand what I am going through but that is totally fine by me.

    My psychological part is fine as I’ve never been in addictions or stuff like that,I didn’t experience any trauma or had accidents that would affect me that strongly.

    But to say it all,I feel like I am adopted by my family and that even if they are nice to me,I feel lonely and missing these persons I never met,I also look forward to see them.

     

    That feeling of belonging somewhere else,feeling nostalgic and lonely even if there are no problems and that my life is normal,these feelings really confuse me.

    #224747

    Prash
    Participant

    Dear Lunesis,

    You are most welcome.

    Have you considered why you feel adopted by your family other than this feeling of belonging else where. For example, a regular misunderstanding from their side whenever you have expressed something or a constant disapproval?

    When you have this feeling of belonging somewhere else do you have a vision of what this other place or family looks or feels like?

    Either way, don’t let these feelings stop you from living the best life that you are meant to. Move forward; if it is an idea of some other place, maybe traveling will help. Do things that you feel good about.

     

    #224773

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Luness:

    Your case is not weird to me.

    You wrote: “Since my childhood… I miss strongly someone I never knew or met… sometimes I just lock myself in my room and feel extremely sad and missing ‘them’… I feel very sad to see that I cannot join them… I am only thankful to them (your parents) for taking care of me before going back to ‘them’… I try myself everyday to love my parents… I also talked about it a little to my parents.. they showed misunderstandings so I stopped from talking about it to them… I tried many times to talk with them about it but it always turned to argues… they couldn’t understand what I am going through… I feel lonely and missing these persons I never met. I also look forward to see them. That feeling of belonging somewhere else”.

    This is my understanding: your parents take care of some of your needs, such as food and clothing. But they didn’t and don’t take care of your need to belong. Children need to feel that they belong in their family. You feel sad and lonely because you feel like a stranger in your family, with your parents. So you made up another family, made believe there is another set of parents for you someplace else and so, you do belong somewhere.

    You wrote about your parents: “they couldn’t understand what I am going through but that is totally fine by me”. I think you feel as fine with is as you do because you invented another set of parents elsewhere and they are your hope to belong.

    Your parents argue with you, your other parents will not argue. These parents don’t understand what you are going through, the other parents will understand. With these parents you feel sad and lonely, with the other parents you will feel happy and not lonely at all. that will be the good life, something to look forward to.

    What do you think?

    anita

     

     

    #225277

    Gary
    Participant

    Might I suggest a DNA test from , say , ancestory or some other testing agent. I found out and was contacted by a man who turned out to be my 1st cousin. He was given up for adoption when he was 3 days old.

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