Dear soma,

the overwhelming urge to sleep is usually a way to disassociate from the problem. It’s a way to escape when we believe we can’t deal with life challenges. From what you’ve written, it seems you’re in a difficult situation, which requires you to make important decisions, however you don’t know what to do, and you don’t feel that help is available either. That would warrant your wanting to hide and escape – into sleep. Would you be willing to tell us a bit more about your situation and what’s the biggest challenge you’re facing?

Dear soma:

You graduated high school and you plan to attend University next. You wrote: “the main thing I need help with is choosing a career path to later pursue”-

– It is important that you choose the university and the subject that is most likely to lead you to the best career possible in pay, benefits, working conditions and potential for future growth.

I read that the Automotive Industry in Turkey, located mainly in the Marmara region, is very strong, having been ranked in 2015 as the 14th largest producer in the world.

The Turkish tourist industry was ranked 6th in the world in 2019, in terms of number of international tourist arrivals. Because of the pandemic, there was a 65.1% decline in tourism revenues in 2020. A few days ago, Turkey launched a vaccination campaign for over one million of tourism employees and other personnel, in the hope of strengthening the industry. Unfortunately, Turkey is currently experiencing its third pandemic wave and a record high number of daily cases (over 40 thousands a day) and daily deaths.

Another industry that is very relevant to the pandemic is the health care industry.

The reason I mention these three industries is that your choices of university and subject matter need to be about the realities of your country: the existing industries, the pandemic, the state of vaccinations, healthcare, etc.

In my research this morning I came across an article from March 24 this year, published in Al Jazeera, that is relevant to what you brought up (the pressure put on you by family to choose a great career, make enough money, etc., joining the rat race), it is called: Minimalism in Turkey: Journey to a Simple life, it reads: “A Turkish couple and their young child decided to quit the rat race and join the Simple Life movement, decluttering and living with less. ‘Less is more,’ so the saying goes. While many people aspire to earn more, buy more and own more, some are challenging material values.. The ‘simple living’ movement, also known as minimalism, is about being satisfied with what you have rather than constantly craving more…

“They visit a self-sufficient rural commune and meet others who have already rejected consumer values- including a former automotive engineer who have up all his credit cards”.

Not that you are in the position to do what they did, as in to give up credit cards you don’t yet have, but decluttering your mind/ your thoughts will surely help!

Take your time, if you will, and post again.

anita

Dear soma:

You are welcome, and thank you for wishing me a great day. Regarding your choice of a university, you mentioned three, they all very prestigious, rank highest in Turkey, all are very difficult to get into, and the majority of the classes in all of them are taught in English (Wikipedia):

1) Bogazici University is the first American higher education institution founded outside the U.S.- how interesting! It was founded in 1863, and to this day, the university maintains strong ties to the American educational system

Problem is, only  800 applicants out of about 1.8 million are admitted for the programs the university is well-known for: electrical and electronics engineering, computer engineering and industrial engineering. About 1% of applicants are admitted to other programs.

2) Koc University: It has an extensive network of over 250 partner-universities including University of California (which I attended, post bachelor degree, a few classes), and it includes a Graduate School of Business (GSB) program- which will fit your interest in majoring in business.

3)  ITU, standing for Istanbul Technical University, ranks 1st in Turkey in the fields of Engineering and Technology and in Natural Sciences. It includes 99 undergraduate and 192 graduate programs. Entrance to most of its departments requires the top 1% of nearly 2 million applicants taking the entrance examination. I see on their website the impressive white ITU Faculty of Business building.

You wrote earlier: “I feel like I’m anxious all around the clock… I struggle with the relationships I have with people”- it seems to me that the relationships you have with the people in your life are fueling your anxiety, keeping it going around the clock. To lower your anxiety, change what can be changed in regard to your relationships:

1) Because people are telling you that you should hate your father, if I understand correctly- don’t talk to your mother and others about your father, so to not get their reactions. No reason to stir and receive their disapproval and anger.

2) You wrote that people have expectation of you, and that you “try to  hide (your anxiety) from people”- talk to the people (you may  be referring to your mother…?) and ask them to go easy on you, tell them that you are more likely to fulfill high expectations when you are calm, and unlikely to do so when you are anxious, so it is to their best interest to not fuel your anxiety. Let them know in details what they need to do- and not do- to promote your calm.

Also, to promote your calm: set a daily routine of aerobic exercise, such as fast walking for half an hour a day, or an hour, and check out mindfulness guided meditation programs, such as the one by former Oxford University professor Mark Williams.

anita

How are you, soma?

anita