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  • July 10, 2020 at 10:15 am #361286
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Tania:

    “Doctor said.. I need to take a rest totally and look for next week”- what does “take a rest totally” mean, and for how long?

    And what do you mean by “Is the baby seen in usg”?

    If you choose to explain these two things to me, please take your time explaining, so that I can understand.

    anita

    July 10, 2020 at 11:57 pm #361367
    Tania
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    Take a rest totally means i should just lay on my bed whole day.. first doctor said for 3 days. But my symptoms haven’t healed yet..

    I don’t know how to deal with this week.. am i still ask permission to take a rest or should i go to the office? With the risk and i really worried about my baby..

    Doctor said i should get back to the hospital next week for checking my baby.. is the baby really inside my womb and is there any progress about the baby.

    July 11, 2020 at 6:37 am #361381
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Tania:

    “I don’t know how to deal with this week.. am I still ask permission to take a rest or should I go to the office? With the risk and I really worried about my baby”-

    – you need to ask your doctor this question.

    The medical specialty that includes obstetrics (covering pregnancy, childbirth, and the postpartum period), and gynecology (covering the health of the female reproductive system) is called, for short, OB-GYN, or OB/GYN.

    The obstetrician, or OB/GYN, takes care of a pregnant woman throughout her pregnancy, and gives the woman a follow-up care after child birth (the postpartum period). While pregnant, the OB/GYN should check your health and your baby’s health by doing routine ultrasounds, measurements, and tests, and check for any health conditions you have that could cause problems during your pregnancy, such as high blood pressure, diabetes, infections, and genetic disorders.

    The OB/GYN should advise you regarding your diet, exercise, medications and staying healthy; help you cope with morning sickness, back and leg pain, heartburn, and other common pregnancy complaints. And of course, if you are at a risk of miscarriage, the OB/GYN should give you clear instructions as to whether you should go to work or stay at home, or stay in bed all day, whatever it may be.

    “Doctor said I should get back to the hospital next week for checking my baby.. is the baby really inside my womb and is there any progress about the baby”- can you call the doctor and ask him/ her if you should go to work before next week, or should you stay at home,  maybe in bed until you go back to the hospital next week?

    If you can’t get a hold of your doctor and you are not sure what to do, I would say: stay home and do not exert yourself (don’t do any physical work beyond the very minimal, such as cooking, washing dishes; no heavy lifting, no strenuous scrubbing etc.)

    anita

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by .
    August 4, 2020 at 2:36 pm #363780
    Tania
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    Yes u are alright.. my doctor said i should take a rest that means totally on my bed.. luckyly my baby growning up in my belly 🙂

    Btw Anita.. can i ask something out of the box…? I don’t know why i still keep thinking about it…

    Long time ago before we getting merried, i always remember my husband as a hot kisser. His kiss is deep and make me so in love with it.. but i don’t know since what time,he changed his style… i just can remember the moment before we merried, he’s already changed. honestly, we have a deal that “we will not get sex until we formally merried”. But i don’t know.. is that influence his behavior before and after merried?

    I really realize it when we are in merried routine… He always kiss me so short and never deep again even when i ask him to and choose to touch me at the sensitive part instead..

    Is this normal in merried life..?

    Sorry for asking like this.. because i don’t  know whom trusted to ask the question like this.. and this thought always fly in my brain.. and the memories about his hot kiss still in my brain and i want it back..

    August 4, 2020 at 3:00 pm #363783
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Tania:

    Before he married you he was “a hot kisser”, but “he changed his style.. the memories about his hot kiss still in my brain and I want it back”- I am sorry, Tania, I wish he still kissed you the way he did before. I wish you had his hot kisses back!

    It is common for a man to be not as attentive to his wife, and to be less passionate toward his wife after what is called “the honeymoon phase” is over; after he gets into that “married routine” you mentioned.

    It is so common that magazine articles and even books were written about ways for a wife to get her husband back to his old ways; how to bring back his passion: wearing sexy lingerie and this or that.. so, yes, it is very common. Maybe working from home/ the pandemic is part of it as well, for him (?)

    anita

    August 4, 2020 at 3:11 pm #363784
    Tania
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    I hope so Anita.. do you know any books that show us about ways for wife to get her husband back to his old ways..?

    Actually i’ve tried using sexy lingerie and it’s ended up with he thought whats wrong with me. He feels unusual me and wanted me to back to normal..

    Should i ask him why? Or maybe i should read more article to handle this secretly..?

    By the way.. because of this bed rest routine, my thought about jealousy etc just came back one by one.. but i always try to throw it away and read your answer again from our past discussion.. I feel so lucky to know Anita.. Thank you so much for helping me.

    August 4, 2020 at 3:32 pm #363785
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Tania:

    You are welcome and thank you for being as kind as you are. I am glad that you re-read our communication when you get jealous.

    I don’t know of any books as to getting a husband’s passion back. I don’t know if what they suggest works, I mean, your husband told you himself- that he wants  you “back to normal”, that he doesn’t want you acting like a different woman. I will next go  on my daily long walk and will think about the husband-losing-passion problem. When I am back I will post to you again.

    anita

    August 4, 2020 at 5:21 pm #363798
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Tania:

    This is what came to my mind during my walk regarding the topic:

    1) Bring to your memory what he said to you during the times when he expressed passion for you: maybe he said he likes your hair being smooth or that he likes a certain perfume you had on, a certain soap you used, or that he likes when you talk in a soft voice.. and at a time when you hope for some passion, have your hair smooth (using a particular hair conditioner), use the perfume he likes, etc.

    2) Tell him what you told me, that you liked him when he was a hot kisser, and add that he is good at it, and you would like him to do again what he is so good at. (Men usually like to be told that they are good at things, that they do a good job, and it makes them want to get that compliment again).

    * Don’t talk a lot on the topic with him, the less talk- the better. Smiling at him approvingly or with appreciation is worth more than a thousand words.

    anita

    August 5, 2020 at 7:33 am #363872
    Tania
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    Replying about 2 point..

    1.) I don’t know why, i cant remember what he likes from me.. because he never told me anything about my physical look except said that i look more fat in joke i mean.. but i’ve ask him why he never give me any compliment about my physical look, he said because i’m beautiful and he knows it..

    2.) I’ll tried it.. but he is not easy to  persuated by the way. 🙁

    August 5, 2020 at 7:50 am #363878
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Tania:

    He told you that you are “beautiful and he knows it”. What else did he ever tell you that is loving and kind, and how otherwise did he/ does he express his affection and love for you?

    anita

    August 5, 2020 at 8:46 am #363888
    Tania
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    I forget.. have i told you about my husband..?

    Actually from the first we being together.. he told me that he cant express his love like another guy. He cant keep telling me some of sweet words. And he keep doing it until now.

    Whats make me sure that he love me is because of his act. His care.. and when weekends we used to having fun together and he always give me his time on weekend.

    And until now, he hug me kiss me without words.. he care about what i love. Sometimes he give me what i want even i didnt ask for it. I know he is not perfect.. he doesn’t talk with me about heart feeling that much. I mean some talk like “how was ur day?” Or something that specifically talk about feeling. I just almost never see him sad, i hope he never feel that sad.. he always share his game, something funny and some logic story with me..

    I don’t know why he is like that.. sometimes i just curious is this his real character..? He told me that he never cover up anything.. everything i see in him is whatever he is..

    So thats why sometimes i never feel surprise about him.. he also almost never give me surprise.. only one i can remember.. when i graduated, he give me necklace.. that a sweet moment i love!

    What do you think anita..?

    August 5, 2020 at 9:37 am #363893
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Tania:

    I always thought he is a good  guy. The fact that he doesn’t express his love to you with “sweet words” does not make him a bad guy, or a lesser guy. It just means that he is uncomfortable saying sweet words, it makes him feel distress to say such words. But he shows you love in other ways. There is a book I heard about a lot, although I never read it, called “The Five Love Languages: How to Express heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate”. It lists five different general ways that romantic partners express and experience love, five different “love languages”: Words of affirmation (what you referred to as “Sweet words”),  Gift giving, Physical touch, Quality time and Acts of service.

    From what you shared in your recent post, these are not his love languages: Word of affirmation (“he can’t keep telling me some of sweet words”), or Gift giving (“he also almost never give me surprise.. only one I can remember.. when I graduated, he gave me necklace”).

    These are his love languages: Physical touch (“he hug me kiss me”), Quality time (“when weekends we used to having fun together and he always give me his time on weekend”).

    I don’t know about Acts of service- that would be helping you clean your home, shopping for you, etc.(?)

    Maybe it will help you to read this book…

    anita

    August 10, 2020 at 7:47 pm #364408
    Tania
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    Yes you are alright.. i thought so… i thought my husband also a good guy..

    About gift giving actually first time i thought that is his love language.. i mean he never give me surprise. So he bought something that i know.. he just surprise me that he said he will buy it for me for example. he mostly bought some of my dream stuff.. such as set of serial books, bags, phone that i wanted the most, and even its food without i asking or begging him to buy it for me.. when i feel in badmood, he will always give me advice to buy some good food.. even if that time i just need and want his hug..

    Sometimes i feel confused.. i think everyone can buy stuff for his girlfriend right? So that girlfriend will allways be with him.. i such a different.. i don’t know why.. how many times he give me some gifts.. the feels of happiness just stand for some days.. and after that i feel like i forgot.. sometimes when i look at stuff that he bought to me, i feel blessed.. but you know.. that feeling not last forever..

    Or maybe i was wrong.. I’m the only one too exaggerated about his negativity or his lack.. i wanna to change and wanna stop worrying about his feeling..

    And about act of service. I dont know much about this actually.. but sometimes he helping me with the dishes, helping me when i cooking, sometimes he help to clean the bathroom..  and he loves me to always put dish on his plate and give to him.. i don’t know.. is that sign that he want me to show act of service?

    And this is something that cross my head now.. honestly it’s really hard to not looking at his chat.. and yesterday i just saw only 1 chat.. from his woman colleague.. different from colleague that first time i told you.. so the story is : when my husband post our wedding photo. Then i look her comment. she said something about me.. she said “poor tania”. I don’t know whats that mean..? And why she said like that.. could you tell me something inside your mind about this..? Am i too sensitive now..?

    August 10, 2020 at 8:09 pm #364409
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Tania:

    I will read and reply to your recent post in about 10 hours from now.

    anita

    August 11, 2020 at 6:46 am #364435
    Tania
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    Okay Anita.. i will wait.. Thank you

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