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In in love with my best friend (should I make a move?)

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  • September 2, 2018 at 9:03 pm #224137
    Mark
    Participant

    M,

    4 day breakup is an extremely short time to be able to recover/process/grieve/get over a relationship.

    I would let the man make the move once he is ready.  You can reach out later but right now it’s too soon.  Give it at least 9 months since his last relationship was 4 years.

    In the meantime, live your life, date others, and let him go for now.

    Mark

    September 3, 2018 at 5:47 am #224159
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear M:

    My suggestion is that you focus on these talks you should keep having with him, listen to what he says, share your thoughts as well, your feelings and life experience with him. Don’t let your interest in him be in the way of that friendship you have with him, don’t let it interfere with your ability to really listen to him.

    If you continue those conversations, your interest in him, and his will come up when it will, as part of talking and when it does the issue of timing will come up as well. At that point, the two of you can decide on the if and the when of a relationship beyond friendship.

    anita

    September 3, 2018 at 6:23 am #224169
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi M,

    It sounds like you will be friends forever, so it’s not like he’s going away. This is very normal: best friends like each other over their life but always seem to have missed connections!

    He won’t pick up on any subtle hints from you because you had turned him down long ago. You only see what you expect to see, after all.

    I would wait until next year. Possibly get a trusted mutual friend to gently let him know your feelings. If it’s not reciprocated, the friend says nothing and you gracefully continue your friendship. He might be happily surprised, and the friend can say, “Now might be a good time to go for it, bro” (and surreptitiously let you know).

    Good Luck,

    Inky

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