- This topic has 3 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 5 months ago by Prash.
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July 24, 2018 at 7:44 pm #218607AnonymousInactive
For the last year, I’ve begun to want to live a short life. I don’t want to live until an adult or old age. It isn’t that I do not value living or want to leave, it’s just that I don’t see a value or purpose in living a long life.
1. I don’t have any more close friends and I don’t think I ever will. I don’t want to invest any more effort in making friends because I have not been successful in meeting anyone who reaches out to me. It seems like it is always me making the first move. The friends I had all left because they deemed me an unworthy friend. There isn’t use living a life alone.
2 I’ve never had a successful relationship and I don’t want to invest more energy into meeting anyone.
3 I can’t deal with life’s problems. Everytime something tragic happens , i feel intensely overwhelmed and the feeling captivates my mind for years. I worry very often about these past events and mistakes. I don’t want to continue holding these types of thoughts.
4 . I don’t like older people or the way society treats them. We value youth. Older people are not very valued or needed and this deeply saddens me. Children grow up and live their lives and don’t care for the old generation. They are often lonely and bitter and forgotten.
5. I’m tired of constantly living life and making mistakes and wishing I could do things over. There is only one life and I feel like mine is already tainted.
6. Overall, I don’t see how my life is going to get better.
7. Each year I get more cynical and bitter. It’s not pleasant but I have no other way or becoming a light hearted and naive person like I was before. I hate living my life through this lens.
8. I don’t think I can contribute to the world the way I want to. I don’t think there is a special element in me that the world deeply needs (a talent, a overwhelming kindness and compassion, a desire to raise the next generation). I don’t think I am very useful.
July 24, 2018 at 10:11 pm #218619MarkParticipantWow RedDress.
How old are you?
If you feel that way, then makes me wonder how you manage to get out of bed each morning?
The good news is that you hate living your life this way.
I wonder how you are trying to change it, if anything.
Mark
July 25, 2018 at 3:20 am #218633AnonymousGuestDear RedDress:
You know that your parents can be wrong about things, don’t you? They think they know something, and you found out that they don’t. That happened, correct?
Here is something they told you and are wrong about (from another thread): “Every day my parents remind me how hard I am to get along with and that it’s no wonder I have no friends or lasting relationships”-
I know they are wrong because a child is not born hard to get along with. A child is born reaching out, loving and open. And so, it is them, your parents who are hard to get along with, so much so that a loving, open child closed off to them (and to everyone else).
In this thread you wrote: “I don’t have any more close friends” because you closed off to your parents first (their fault) and to everyone else as you project them into others.
For a child the parent’s voice is the voice of god. A child believes. Later on you see your parents as less than gods, less than perfect, but what they told you is still the voice of god because it was heard and remembered when you did see them as perfect, all knowing.
anita
July 25, 2018 at 7:25 am #218655PrashParticipantDear RedDress,
Despite being in so much pain, you are here, offering your support to others who are suffering, trying to make them feel better. I think that is amazing.
I probably speak for all others who have responded to you here; we definitely want you to be around for a long period of time. I do want to see you pick yourself and surge through life.
As far as suggestions go, I really don’t have anything new. Letting your past affect you is like trying to walk on a tight rope with a heavy load on your head. Let it go. Live the life that you want. Be physically active like you used to be. Say what you feel like. Be brutally honest. Be there for people that you care about irrespective of the response that you get because it is not about them.
It is about who you really are.
Take care
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