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I thought I knew what I wanted to do but now I am unsure

Homeā†’Forumsā†’Workā†’I thought I knew what I wanted to do but now I am unsure

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  • #375402
    miaim
    Participant

    Hello wonderful people!

    I am currently struggling with my studies/work. When I got accepted to uni two years ago I felt like I had reached my dream. Finally I was able to study my dream field – culture, media and arts. Now I am not so sure anymore.

    Little background info: I am in my late twenties and have been interested in art all my life. I have never really thought about my future too much, I have just gone with the flow and found myself in different places. Some places were lovely, others not so much.

    Anyways, maybe it is this global pandemic, maybe it is me getting older, but I have really stopped to think about my life and where I am going, is this the path I want to explore or could there be something more suitable for me, a completely different way of living I just havenā€™t seen because I have been so obsessed in being an artist, creating art and studying it.

    I would like to hear your stories. How did you know that you are doing something thatā€™s meaningful to you? How did you know when to choose another path? And if you have realized that you want to do something other than what you were doing for living how did you realize it and what did you do after the realisation?

    This is farely new situation for meĀ be to be in. I have always been so sure of what I want to do and now that I am ā€living the dreamā€ I have started to second guess it… And I guess I am scared of waisting my time and also scared of self-sabotaging, because like I said I am living my dream so it feels weird to feel like I might not want to continue on this path.

    Your thoughts, stories and questions are welcome!

    #375415
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear miaim:

    “I am in my late twenties and have been interested in art all my life… I have always been so sure of what I want to do and now that I am ‘living the dream’ I have started to second guess it”-

    – I think that the problem is that living the dream is hardly ever as dreamy as when dreaming the dream. There is always a lack when one actualizes a dream: it just doesn’t feel as magnificent to live a dream as it is to as imagine and anticipate a dream.

    It makes me think of the fairytale/ dream stories that end with “and they lived happily ever after”. It is a good thing that these old-fashioned fairytale books run out of paper at that point, otherwise there would be lots of boredom and blahs in papers to follow.

    anita

    #375450
    Tee
    Participant

    Dear miaim,

    is there a particular reason you’ve started questioning your choice of art as a career path? You said you’ve never questioned it much before, you simply knew it was a good choice for you and you went with the flow. But now, during the pandemic, I suppose you had more time on your hands and you started thinking about it more? What do you think is making you doubt yourself at this point?

    #379266
    Brendon
    Participant

    I think all people experience this. You grow up, you gain experience, and your priorities change.

    I used to think I knew who I wanted to be and what I wanted to do. But when I got an education and went to work where I wanted to go, I realized that’s not my life’s purpose, and I have somewhere to grow. I mean, you can’t achieve something and then enjoy it your whole life. There are ups and downs in life, moments when everything loses its meaning, and moments when everything seems meaningful. The main thing is not to stand still. I know people who do nothing, sit at home and have no hobbies and no goals, and say they are not interested. They are closed to anything new. You can’t do that. You have to be constantly on the search. If you have now lost the meaning of what you were doing for a long time, it means that in its placeĀ another interestĀ will come. The main thing is to stay open to possibilities.

    #379319
    Maria
    Participant

    Hi, miaim,

    Well, my story’s here. I thought I wanted to be a teacher right from my childhood. I also wanted to be a vet. But thanks to my rationality, I decided not to go for it. šŸ˜€ Not only that, but I had a passion for English, so my mother and I thought it would be great to become an English teacher. I have a degree. Yes, I can be a teacher at any time, as in Russia, there is always a career opportunity for that. And I worked as a teacher. That was not that bad, actually. But what I felt was that inner feeling of doing something wrong. That’s when I understood that being a teacher was not MY dream but my mother’s. I know she tried to do the right thing for me.

    Now my career is still connected to English but not to teaching. And I still hear my mom saying that “I’m in the wrong business.” Good thing I live far from her. And my job gives me enough money for living. But what’s important is it also gives me joy. Finally, I do what I like. I can’t call it “living the dream.” But I find it good enough to feel comfortable.

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