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I Need Help to Think About Things

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  • #68099
    Megan Edie
    Participant

    To those who know my current situation which you can read about here: http://dev.tinybuddha.com/topic/loss-of-first-love-a-grieving-period-i-need-help-to-understand/

    I’m dating this other guy right now. He’s a great guy…but I think I might have jumped in too quickly on this one. I really, really, really want to be with him, but healing is something I really need right now. I honestly thought I was ready. Things are moving as they would in a typical relationship, and I hate doing this, but I can’t keep being okay one minute and not okay the next. My feelings are confusing and he just doesn’t deserve this from me. Really, he’s a sweet guy. But I don’t know what I should do. He has been ever so patient with me when I say I’m having a bad day and I need to cry. I can’t keep doing this to him – it’s not fair. I want him to be my boyfriend. I want to have a relationship with him. I want to be able to give him my full attention…but I’m still crying over my ex. I’m still in need.

    I feel like I’m nearly in love with him, but I need to heal first before getting into this. I really hope he sticks around, because he’s someone I feel a great connection with. We share a lot of similar interests and he’s the coolest person I’ve ever met. There was only one other before him, and that was obviously a bust. But when we’re together I just feel natural being with him. I feel like I have nothing to hide from him. That I can hear him tell me I’m over-thinking something and I can literally refocus myself. He tells me things how they are. He doesn’t deserve someone who’s hurting. He deserves someone who is ready to give their love and affection and to grow with him and not be held back because they’re still hurting. Time heals all wounds but only if we face the pain when we feel it.

    He’s told me he’s only here as long as I want him around.

    Guys, what should I do?

    #68102
    Megan Edie
    Participant

    After considering some other things, I’ve decided that no, I did not move too quickly on this one. I started dating him because I felt ready, I just wasn’t ready for what came later (Which is what I’m dealing with now).

    #68112
    Inky
    Participant

    I think if you break up with him and then one day date someone else you will be grieving TWO loves, and the third won’t deserve that LOL.
    Women seem to not want to date again until they are “Ready”. Dear, we would never be “Ready”! You will always keep the last love fresh in your heart. Maybe not date anyone the moment you break up, but don’t be actively single a year later, either! Every day it will get easier and easier to get over the last one. Just have a good time with the new guy when you’re with him!

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