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I just randomly and suddenly fell out of love

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  • January 11, 2026 at 7:44 pm #454052
    anita
    Participant

    5 months of LD 😊 +

    6 months of LD 😊 😃 😀 +

    1 month of LD ☹️ +

    1st and only real life visit ☹️ +

    2 months 😢 +

    And here we are today 😔

    Trying to get the dates and emojis right with a bit of humor.

    🤔 😕 😳 😑 😊 Anita

    January 11, 2026 at 8:41 pm #454053
    Confused
    Participant

    Haha yeah kinda like that, nice depiction.

    I like the emojis!

    Im off to sleep, talk tomorrow 🙂

    January 11, 2026 at 8:52 pm #454054
    anita
    Participant

    Haha 😄 indeed, Confused, truly a pleasure 🙏 communicating with you. Good 👍 night 🌙 to you, almost 9 pm here, we must be on a similar time zone.

    🤍 good night to you, Confused, good night 😴

    ✌️ 🌙 Anita (9:52 pm)

    January 11, 2026 at 9:00 pm #454055
    anita
    Participant

    Wrong by an hour, 9 pm here, W USA here.

    Now. 😴

    January 11, 2026 at 9:01 pm #454056
    anita
    Participant

    Wasn’t wrong, so yes, 9 pm here

    January 11, 2026 at 11:12 pm #454058
    Alessa
    Participant

    Hi Confused

    What happened near the end of the 9 month relationship that made it go bad? How did it end? 🩵

    I hear how much you want to have a healthy relationship that works out! That’s a really important dream. 🩵

    Hope is not a bad thing. To have a successful relationship you are going to need that.

    January 12, 2026 at 7:31 am #454069
    Confused
    Participant

    Hey anita

    My timezone is GMT +2 🙂

    Hey Alessa
    We were fine, but she moved 200km away to work during the summer months (June-September) and around August she started pulling back a little, we started arguing and broke up by September. Wasnt toxic or anything, she probably realized she didnt want a relationship at that point (6 years later she has never been in a relationship ever since)

    Yes for some reason it feels very important to me, having a person to connect and share my life with.

    January 12, 2026 at 9:11 am #454074
    anita
    Participant

    Hey Confused:

    You wrote yesterday: “Relationships with other women were pretty toxic except one, my longest (which was 9 months”, and later: “They were all short-lived (longest one 7 months)”. How long was your longest relationship?

    I found where you described the one visit with your current LDR woman in your life:

    “The visit went okay, it was our first time meeting, I stayed for 3 days… she was also distant/ disconnected… my mind was constantly doubting everything… The first 2 days she was keeping her distance which I respected (because she needs to develop a sense of trust and security before getting intimate”-

    What made the visit “okay”?

    🤔 Anita

    January 12, 2026 at 11:19 am #454087
    Confused
    Participant

    My longest was this 9 months one.

    She was distant mostly because of my own disconnection (which happened 1 month before) and she is also kinda hard to trust in general, until she feels safe/familiar. I was doubting everything because my mind was playing all the time “u are a bad person, u are stringing her alone, u are hurting her” and so on.. Maybe its ocd.

    Visit was fun (if u exclude my damn mind) and the last day was nice, we kissed a lot, it was full of chemistry.

    January 12, 2026 at 11:34 am #454088
    anita
    Participant

    Hey Confused:

    Good thing you 1 food day during the visit.

    I wish 🤞 that the good chemistry on that last day ease the bad (OCD, ADHD, disorganized attachment) chemistry.

    About 20 days to seeing a psychiatrist for easing/ changing obsessive, self-blaming chemistry ⚗️?

    🤍 Anita

    January 12, 2026 at 11:35 am #454089
    anita
    Participant

    I Good day, lol

    January 12, 2026 at 12:16 pm #454092
    Confused
    Participant

    Hey anita

    It did ease it a bit, but didnt bring my emotions back. I feel like im emotionally burnt out. Its not just her, its with everything and everyone, i feel like i cant give right now.

    I will see psychiatrist for the first time in 15 days. and 2nd session with therapist in 2 days, still nothing.

    Yesterday i opened her xmas present (i couldnt bring myself to do it earlier) and as i was going through half the gifts, i felt like my heart was gonna break and my chest will drop so i left it.

    January 12, 2026 at 12:41 pm #454093
    anita
    Participant

    Hey Confused:

    I’m glad to read that the obsessive and self-blaming chemistry eased 🙂

    Coming back to the Empathy factor: may you practice empathy/ compassion for yourself simply because you are going through a difficult time emotionally. Avoid, if you can, placing any pressure on yourself. Give yourself the permission to rest and recover.

    (I will soon be away from the computer for a few hours).

    ️🤍 Anita

    January 12, 2026 at 1:14 pm #454096
    Confused
    Participant

    I know this is what i should do but i cant get her out of my mind. She feels emotionally drained aswell and we agreed to take space to focus on ourselves again.

    January 12, 2026 at 3:53 pm #454097
    anita
    Participant

    I think that it’s the right ✅️ thing for the two of you to do, to take space from each other.

    Because as it’s been three months of misery for you and for her too, from what you shared.

    So, since “Do no harm” is a big part of loving someone (as well as a Budhist principle), taking space would be a loving act.

    🤍 🤞 Anita

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