The thought of someone from my past, now married, who considers me his “soul mate”, would terrify me! I hate that word, that it is bandied about (mostly by women) so casually just because she has a crush, as if she is the only one who matters, and as if his partner and her husband just don’t matter much in the Cosmic scheme of things. Meanwhile, there is a true, real, husband languishing at home, starved of you psychic/emotional attention. HE is in your Auric Field. Not some guys from your past who frankly would be flattered yet horrified if he knew he was referred to as a “soul mate” on some long thread on the internet!

Here’s what a Soul Mate is:

Past, Present and Future are One. So your spouse, the one in 7 billion you pick, or who picks you, (finding The One out of everyone on the Planet?? Only spies can do that on purpose!!)is already Connected to you if you haven’t met yet. He/she WAS already connected to you before you were born. And when you meet, even though you seemingly have nothing in common, as each day passes, as more time and love and energy is exchanged, each droplet of that Love, Time, Experiences, Thoughts and Energy makes you more and more Soul Mates.

Until one day you realize: You were always Soul Mates!

Not some guy you used to know.

Sorry so Harsh!

And This:

http://spiritualconnectedness.wordpress.com/2013/05/17/twin-flames-and-soul-mates-the-new-dynamic-in-relationships/#more-7636

Basically you have 72,000 “Soul Mates” (including your husband). That if you’re not happy in your relationship and look to another “soul mate”, that is just fear of living your life and a sign that YOU have to love YOU!

The Twin Soul is not incarnated with you as a general rule.

OK, now love your True Soul Mate for this lifetime, your husband!

Kristy,

I like the term “kindred spirit” for such folks. The “soulmate” shazam usually just means an unmet need is present on both sides, that turns a kindred sharing into something mysterious and alluring. Otherwise, its just a connection that is open, heartfelt, then moved away from when the communicating is done. No residue.

For your hubby, consider being more specific and staying on your side. Rather than “you’re a wonderful man”, perhaps “today, when you did this, I saw such and such and felt such and such. Thank you!” Perhaps his fear that he is dark will naturally erode as he sees your light shining on him. If you’re just trying to tell him what he is, his self image will perhaps fight your words off, dismiss them. 🙂

With warmth,
Matt

Sorry you feel judgement. I just celebrated my 25th wedding anniversary. All I wanted to do was point out that this other man maybe only a wake up to both you and your husband. If there is no longer a reason to be together then run. If you both still love each other and both are willing to work at it you have the chance to save your life time together. It just maybe a different way of getting your marriage fixed. Good luck just make a clean break from either beforehand.

Yes, totally this is possible. And boy have some folks on this forum got the wrong end of the stick. Life is NOT about finding and being with your soulmate happily ever after. Life is about learning, growing, experiencing and loving. A true soulmate, is a soul who’s root is the same as yours. You have the same soul source, and you have lived life time after life time in co-operation towards that goal of mutual growth. Being totally wrapped up in each other for an eternity of romantic “happily ever afters” does not contribute to that goal. Experiences that test your courage, your morals, your understanding of yourself and your understanding of love and respect do. Yes, you will always love a soulmate, the same way you love yourself because they are, quite literally, a part of you. You may well have chosen in this incarnation to explore and experience love and marriage with other people, and it is very likely that your current husband is part of your extended soul family, but choosing to exchange vows does not change their position on your soul tree, nor does it tie you to someones soul forever as their one and only. Relationships in this life are just that. Soul relationship pre-exist this life and will continue long after it. Recognizing, acknowledging and respecting soulmate love does not mean you need to up and leave the man you married, or that you should. Nor does it mean you are “disloyal” to your husband. Each of these people is in your life for the same reason, to help you grow into the best, brightest soul you can be. I can see from your replies to others that you don’t need me to tell you this. You have a strong sense of this already. Your head and your heart are in the right place, and you aren’t crazy. Trust your intuition. It’s bang on.

I have been notified that my reply “has been reported for inappropriate content”. Wow.

LOL. Good one, Matt! Thanks!

Well, brushing all judgement and negativity aside, I must say that this is a very inquisitive and courageous thread.

I know that sometimes our experiences in relationships can leave us grasping for answers to the questions “is this normal?”, “has this happened to others?”, “why am I experiencing this?”. Relationships that involve soul mates can be doubly urgent in our search for answers, and I truly admire your patience!

For the past five years I have been coming to grips with the fact that my soul mate and I are not together and probably never will be. She and I had an other-worldly connection that we both got lost in for four years. Our souls were aligned. We recognized each other from past lives. After years of making love and sharing our dreams, I started to feel smothered and found it harder to make future plans with her. Something in me knew that I didn’t want her to be my life partner, even though she was my soul mate. I tortured myself while trying to understand how this could be so. I kept it all in and lied about my feelings for a year, trying to bide my time in the hopes that my feelings would change, until it all came out and I told her I wanted to separate. I was happy to be out of the relationship, but still to this day I cry fairly often because I miss her so much. I will never love another person as much as I loved her.

I have to believe that our break up was pre-planned so that I could wake up to the fact that love means sharing yourself with the other person, not keeping your true self hidden because you think it will keep the other person safe. It was a hard lesson, one that I’m still learning from, and I believe that without our breakup I never would have learned these lessons that are now allowing me to have a healthy, fulfilling relationship with my current boyfriend. He is wonderful, but like your husband he does not share in my soul journey. He does not believe in the concept of a “soul”, although he is very supportive of me having my own spiritual beliefs. I miss that other-worldly connection with him. He is not my soul mate, but I love him, and I can see us being together and having a family. A part of me is also aware of this need for a more soulful connection, so the future is yet to be seen.

I wish you luck on your journey. Navigating around soul mates is not an easy one, but I believe it gives life a greater depth, making life more meaningful, keeping us alive through the pain and the grief and the love and the light. At least that’s what it’s done for my life. Namaste.