I dated a guy for 2 summers, we’ll call him T. He would work here for the summers and then move back home the rest of the year so about 6 months we would date at a time. A part of me always felt like he was using me because of his profession (athlete) and it was very sexually driven, but I didn’t mind because I was so sexually attracted to him more than I ever have been with anyone… it felt right. But there was also the emotional attraction. He was funny to me and I could also make him laugh, he is driven and wants to be successful like me, he has a great family and loves his mom, he drinks and dances just enough, smiled so big every time I walked up to him, I could go on and on. The last time we hung out it was a little awkward because I was in my own head. I didn’t know if I was going to see him again. For the first time I let out my emotions and told him I felt like he was using me and only cared about the sex. He told me that he liked spending time with me and cared about me. I had never told him I liked him, and we had never talked about long distance. I think I was very on guard because I have felt used before and it sucked.

Fast forward a year and a half later and I still have VERY vivid dreams. Like I look him in the eye and I see his exact brown eyes and his walk is the same and I hear his exact voice and accent and he says statements that his smooth-talking self would say but that I could never think of. It’s insane and it’s so so real. I never have vivid dreams either. He’ll also randomly reach out, sometimes sexual but most of the time it’s just complimenting me or asking how I am. It’s been a year and a half since we last saw each other! I can’t imagine if he was just using me that he would still reach out and talk to me. But I did get a boyfriend since then and I’m pretty sure he’s dated other people, and the last time I saw T he got traded so he doesn’t come back to my state anymore. He had said he will see me again someday. Idk what to think. And my poor boyfriend knows there’s someone on my mind sometimes but I don’t know how to get over him. I truly felt he was the one for me and I would spend the rest of my life loving him and cheering him on in anything he does.

• This topic was modified 6 years, 10 months ago by kali.