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How to let go

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  • May 29, 2020 at 5:41 pm #357211
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear angel:

    I just became aware of your thread; I will read it and reply when I am back to the computer in about 13 hours from now.

    anita

    May 29, 2020 at 8:39 pm #357215
    Ravi
    Participant

    Hi angel,

    I don’t know how can I let go of someone who hates me so much. 

    Any tip of letting go of someone who did not give you closure?

    1. Please lookup about breaking/cutting energetic cords of attachments. Search for ‘archangel cord cutting’.

    2. Practice the simple technique of ho’oponopono all the time whenever thoughts about him come or whenever you are disturbed.

    Please do these two practical techniques and you will be back on track with your life.

    tc.

     

     

    May 30, 2020 at 7:10 am #357239
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear angel:

    I read your story and I hope you feel better soon.

    You wrote: “I rejected him harshly… made up after fighting… we fought a lot… he said he wanted to break up with me. That was not much explanation”- is it possible that the explanation is the rejection, and then the lots of fighting through much of this long distance relationship?

    anita

    May 30, 2020 at 11:12 am #357252
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi angel,

    Long distance relationships are a lot of work. Age differences can be a lot of work. Long term relationships are a lot of work. I’d be surprised if you were still together, honestly. It’s not you. It’s the factors.

    I think what has you stuck is that you turned him down swiftly and definitively from the beginning. You were out of his league.

    And then he outgrew you! Five years could be like two decades to a young guy. The pressure of the long distance old lady waiting for her call! The temptation of all these younger local girls giving him the glad eye! The looming pressure of his friends getting married and he hasn’t lived the good life!

    The blocking and unblocking is his way of maintaining control. The other ex was either the one who got away or the one who never called him after they broke up. Or maybe you weren’t as close as you thought. Who knows? I know I’m being harsh, but let the hapless boy go! He had his chance.

    Best,

    Inky

    June 1, 2020 at 9:19 am #357367
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hi angel,

    I echo Inky’s sentiments here.

    I’ve been in a (somewhat) similar situation where I rejected someone I later fell for, and then he rejected me.

    Cue several months of me desperately trying to woo him back (a flip of our previous dynamic).

    It never really worked and in any case, we should want someone who really wants us, who we don’t have to chase like this.

    The way to let go is, I think, to simply make the decision and do it.

    It’s tough. I’m coming up on the one year “anniversary” of our getting together and he’s been on my mind. But, what I am romanticizing is the fantasy of him I built for myself, not the actual him. That kind of pressure to perform isn’t particularly fair to either of us.

    Honestly, this guy is likely not worth the heartbreak. It’s clear you were really chewed up about stuff and had you been able to talk it out sooner it could have provided some modicum of closure. But, in reality you will never get closure from the one that hurt you.

    Some people are meant to be in our lives for only a little while, to teach us some lessons if you like, and then to drift away. It’s true of course that when there’s more drama or emotion attached to the relationship it’s harder to let go. But you must.

    These are things I have to remind myself frequently. I think it’s probably a more pervasive feeling than we realize!

     

    LW

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