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How to handle depressed ex

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  • May 29, 2018 at 5:03 pm #209983
    Mark
    Participant

    Hallie,

    I know that whenever anyone (including myself) suffers from clinical depression then anyone but a professional is not going to help.  You can feel free to reach out to him to talk, to show your concern.  There is no real harm for you or for him if you do.

    If you are looking to get back together with him romantically then that’s another story.

    Mark

    May 30, 2018 at 3:17 am #209999
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Hailie:

    You wrote: “I don’t know if reaching out to just remind him that I’m here if he wants to talk, would be a good thing”- I think it will not be a good thing, not for you and not for him.

    Looking at your second thread March this year, you wrote that he told you that he’s “been so unhappy because of our relationship“- well, better not re-introduce this (past) relationship to him.

    You wrote about that statement (the above quote), “I don’t really believe (it)… maybe this is true”- maybe it is.

    You also wrote there: “nothing I or anyone else say or do will change (his depression). I can’t make him love or accept himself. I can’t make him happy with himself. I can’t make him happy in general, at least not in the long run”- excellent realization, I say. And so, really, there is nothing you can do.

    anita

     

    May 30, 2018 at 5:41 am #210003
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Hailie,

    This is something a friend did that worked (for a pal being 100K/10 years behind on taxes, but same idea). You may call it tattling, you may call it none of your business. What you could do is CALL HIS PARENTS (!)

    Yes, he is an adult. Yes, it can be seen as  out of line. BUT if you and his friends are genuinely concerned for him about self-harm and clinical depression, it is time to give THE FAMILY a heads up!

    Tell his ‘rent what you just told us (maybe leave out the Tinder). They don’t even have to relay the information or that it was you. But they CAN say, “Son, face the facts. We’re afraid you have clinical depression and we love you and it’s time to see a doctor. We know you and this is not you.” By his friends going to them they know that it is actually a real issue.

    That this is serious.

    Good Luck,

    Inky

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