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How to deal with an insensitive boy/girlfriend?

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  • May 15, 2019 at 9:23 pm #294021
    Jamie
    Participant

    Oh and in regards about the birthday gifts I gave him:

    – The cake I gave him was decorated with words that say: “Happy Birthday Bibendum” (you can Google what Bibendum literally is, and that’s exactly how my boyfriend looks in terms of appearance. It was an inside joke for us – we treat it gleefully).

    – A week after his birthday, I asked about the taste of the cake and whether it is okay to re-purchase the same cake. He shrugged it off, then admitting he hadn’t even eaten it yet.

    – A week after his birthday, I saw him posting an Instagram story of receiving a birthday cake (that’s from me, still untouched) and receiving a gift (that’s from me also) but didn’t tag me, didn’t mention my name, didn’t put anything as a caption except this sentence in a joking manner: “What kind of cake is this?” (referring to the Bibendum joke I put)

    Whereas, in comparison, if his circle of friends gave him stuffs, he posted it in a wholehearted manner, with complete tags and face of the ones who gifted it.

    May 16, 2019 at 3:28 pm #294189
    Mark
    Participant

    Jamie,
    Not sure if this is a pattern for you; to be with men that disrespect you, are controlling, that lie, and steal from you (borrowing money and not paying it back).

    If you cannot recognize that these are not “minor” problems then please get professional help in order to recognize why you are choosing such men like this guy. If you think this is your “fault” then I advise you to examine why you would tolerate such treatment.  I see this as a self love, self esteem issue.

    Does that make sense?
    Mark

    May 18, 2019 at 6:02 am #294319
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Jamie,

    Wow, this guy sounds irritating!

    Why would you stick around with him to yet be disappointed for another year?

    I mean, if you do choose to stay, you could enlist your best friend to tell him, “Hey, we’re planning a surprise party for Jamie”. He’d be pressured to step up his game, but he might resent it.

    Is he embarrassed by you? (the social media tagging thing)

    Don’t expect your money back. That said, don’t lend him anymore money until his debts are paid.

    For his birthday have it more of an event with other people. Tell him birthdays are and will be made much of.

    Tell him you’re taking a break from your screen/social media. When he complains say “This (people getting offended) is exactly the reason why I’m taking a break”.

    And that advice is if you want to keep him. Do you?

    Inky

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 11 months ago by Inky.
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