Home→Forums→Tough Times→Feelings for co worker?
- This topic has 97 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 1 day, 18 hours ago by
anita.
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October 19, 2025 at 9:14 pm #451069
meParticipantYeah 3 hrs away. I’m busy working and can’t take time off even if I wanted. Plus other matters I have to attend to. Now if I had 2 weeks off? I’m there.
October 19, 2025 at 9:23 pm #451070
anitaParticipantI wish you could have taken some time off, just to see her. The little-big things in life, things that matter.
October 19, 2025 at 9:35 pm #451071meParticipantMe too. Anyway it ended after the 4 hrs post, not been online since. Basically she’s like Ohhhhh yeahhhh!!! Come to Taiwan for a month!!!! And how she’s exploring new places and things but she feels lonely sometimes, which I said don’t feel lonely, I’m here if you want to talk with or travel with to Taiwan/here.
October 20, 2025 at 1:19 am #451072
TeeParticipantDear me,
sorry for just popping up in your thread. I haven’t read all of it, but did get the general idea about a certain insecurity in you regarding this girl, which Roberta and Anita aptly identified as the push-pull dynamic.
There’re probably deeper reasons for this, but I don’t intend to go into that but just share something I’ve read today about a celebrity couple (whom to be honest I don’t know much about, but liked their love story anyway): so it’s about singer Dua Lipa and actor Callum Turner.
They both travel a lot for work and have very little time to meet, but still, they meet whenever they can, even if it’s only for 2 days. They have a saying “Making the trip to see one another is never not worth it.”
He said:
“If you can go for two days, just f*ing go. And if you’re tired, it doesn’t matter because you’re going to have a nice time and have a nice memory”.
And she said about their relationship:
“That vulnerability is so scary, but I feel so lucky to get to feel it…. I’ve spent a lot of time being guarded or protecting my heart, and so I’m letting go of that feeling and just being like, ‘Okay, if I’m supposed to get hurt, then this is what’s going to happen.’ I have to just allow love”.
When I saw that you’re only 3 hours away from this girl, I thought to myself that it would be such a pity if it ended like that: basically she complaining that she feels lonely, and you never visiting, finding excuses, and yet wanting to visit.. arrghhh 🙂
Anyway, this is my 2 cents. I love myself a good love story 🙂 I think it would be awesome if you actually gave it a chance…
October 20, 2025 at 9:23 am #451086anitaParticipantDear me:
Excellent post by Tee. What the celebrity said about her vulnerability, being guarded and protecting her heart (“That vulnerability is so scary… I’ve spent a lot of time being guarded or protecting my heart”) fits you very much, I think.
Let’s look at the last post you submitted last night: “Basically she’s like Ohhhhh yeahhhh!!! Come to Taiwan for a month!!!! And how she’s exploring new places and things but she feels lonely sometimes, which I said don’t feel lonely, I’m here if you want to talk with or travel with to Taiwan/here.”-
When she told you that she feels lonely sometimes, she was honest and vulnerable. When she went: “Ohhhhh yeahhhh!!! Come to Taiwan for a month!!!!”, she was so excited and hopeful to be together with you again!
How did you reply to her?
“I said don’t feel lonely,”- that’s the push. It’s cold. It sounds (to me) like you are telling her: You miss me/ you need me, but I don’t miss or need you.
Continued quote: “I’m here if you want to talk with or travel with to Taiwan/here.”- that’s the pull: I don’t miss you (the push), but I’ll talk to you anyway (the pull)
While you are trying to protect your heart, to avoid vulnerability.. you are hurting her feelings 😔, don’t you think, me?
Back to the quote by the celebrity: “and so, I’m letting go of that feeling and just being like, ‘Okay, if I’m supposed to get hurt, then this is what’s going to happen.’ I have to just allow love”-
To let go of the fear of getting hurt and to allow love. 🫶💗🤲 💞
What do you think, me?
Anita
October 20, 2025 at 12:25 pm #451093meParticipantI’ll answer more later as I’m on break at my other job but I meant it as don’t feel lonely you have me to talk to and travel with. Not heard back from her since and she’s not read it.
October 20, 2025 at 3:17 pm #451096meParticipantOk so I could not go see her anyway, I work 2 jobs and my supervisor is on 2 week holiday. So can’t go even if I wanted to.
Also she wanted me to come, she asked about my rest (days off obviously so I can see her), but got none. Told her I’ll try for Taiwan for a month, she was excited by all those !!!’s she dropped. Talked about real stuff, then she said she’s exploring new places and things, then said sometimes she feels lonely. I said it’s good to go to new places and told her to not feel lonely, I’m here if she needs to talk and travel with to Taiwan and here, as we have talked about it in the past. Nothing wrong with what I said. I guess I moved too fast according to her culture? She follows Taiwan culture.
October 20, 2025 at 3:21 pm #451097anitaParticipantI’m on the phone, not at the computer, will reply in a few hours.
October 20, 2025 at 5:28 pm #451100anitaParticipantDear me:
I know you work many, many hours, so, I understand you not having time to visit her.
I just looked at your earlier post, you wrote: “which I said don’t feel lonely”. I misread it, I thought you wrote: which I said I don’t feel lonely.
I apologize for the misread!
“Nothing wrong with what I said.”- true, nothing wrong. I misread.
I don’t understand the current situation between the two of you. What does she want? What do you want?
Do you think the two of you are having an honest, straightforward communication?
🤍🌿 Anita
October 20, 2025 at 5:59 pm #451102meParticipantI don’t even know the situation. Nothing seems easy, might have to just move on. Anytime I open up to her she never reads the texts, but she opens up.
October 20, 2025 at 6:35 pm #451104anitaParticipant“she never reads the texts”- I have no experience, or very, very little experience with texting technology.. does it mean that she purposefully doesn’t answer your texts.. as a passive-aggressive move?
October 20, 2025 at 6:57 pm #451105meParticipantJust means when I open up to her she never reads the text, instagram you get notifications. Normally I end up hitting “unsee” so it’s gone from both our chats. I normally do that if my vulnerable texts go unanswered.
October 20, 2025 at 7:01 pm #451106anitaParticipantIn other words, she gets your messages and chooses to not answer???
October 20, 2025 at 7:20 pm #451108meParticipantRead it, yeah. You can read them in the notifications.
October 20, 2025 at 7:26 pm #451110anitaParticipantAnd she chooses not to answer (really, I am slow in this regard.. not kidding).
She receives your messages, reads them, and doesn’t answer?
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