Feeling used. Am I wrong?

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This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  anita 1 year, 8 months ago.

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    To visit son, his wife & 2 grandchildren soon. Daughter in-law tells me she is having friends over for a party selling t-shirts/fundraiser during one if the days I’m visiting. I’m like okay. She goes on to tell me my 2 grandkids and I can go outside during the party while they are inside or vice versa. I’ve known and have felt for awhile that I’m a glorified babysitter. I feel very excluded and hurt. Don’t get me wrong I love my grandchildren but feel like I’m being banished. Like maybe I’m an embarrassment to her. I want to say something but she is so over the top emotional the last couple of years. Am I seeing all if this wrong? Am I wrong for feeling this way?



    Dear Mamat,

    What are the incidents that make you feel “Like maybe I’m an embarrassment to her.”Could you give examples of the way she has reacted to your concerns in the past? What is your son’s role in all this?

    Maybe looking at the answers to the above questions will help you see things for what they are.

    Take care



    Dear Mamat:

    It may be that your daughter in law’s only motivation when asking you to babysit her kids away from the location where the party is to take place, is to prevent herself and the other adults from being distracted and disturbed by the noise the kids will be making if in the same place as the party.

    Maybe she thinks you will even enjoy spending time alone with the children, away from her and the other people in the party and wants to please you that way.

    Do you have evidence that she has been embarrassed by you in the past?

    When you wrote that she has been “over the top emotional the last couple of years”, you mean with you specifically or with others as well?


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