Dear Mamat:
It may be that your daughter in law’s only motivation when asking you to babysit her kids away from the location where the party is to take place, is to prevent herself and the other adults from being distracted and disturbed by the noise the kids will be making if in the same place as the party.
Maybe she thinks you will even enjoy spending time alone with the children, away from her and the other people in the party and wants to please you that way.
Do you have evidence that she has been embarrassed by you in the past?
When you wrote that she has been “over the top emotional the last couple of years”, you mean with you specifically or with others as well?
anita