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Fear, Anxiety and Healing

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Viewing 4 posts - 106 through 109 (of 109 total)
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  • #434039
    anita
    Participant

    Continued:

    Ice on my left shoulder, still hurting, and because it’s hurting, I’m automatically contracting the muscles there, raising my left shoulder, tensing it, twitching it, making it hurt more. Will the pain and pain-cycle ever stop? Will I ever be free from left-shoulder pain??? Or is it forever? I am trying to relax the shoulder, but it keeps going up. It’s the habits of the body, the habits of the brain that are not under the dominion of logic, of.. common sense, which is not at all common when it comes to instinctual responses of body and brain.

    We can logic-think.. but we operate like instinctual, logic-less animals.

    Ah, the quest of the animal to be god.

    Here it is, rising, twitching yet again, while I don’t want it to!

    Sh.. sh.. shoulder, calm down.

    I posted yesterday while listening to some music. This evening, I will sing (yes), and I will sing in Hebrew just because I feel like it, so here it is: Avir harim tsalool kayayin, veraich oranim, naso nisa leyrooshalaim, bederech yericho. yerushalaim shel zahav, veshel nechoshet veshel or, halolechol sheeiraich, ani kinor.

    Translation: the air of the mountains is as pure as wine, and the smell is of pine trees, we are traveling to Jerusalem by way of Jericho. Jerusalem of gold, and of copper and of light, for al of your songs, I am a fiddle. (I am translating my best, not relying on any online source).

    anita

     

    #434045
    SadSoul
    Participant

    Changing something in just one person’s life, a kind word or action or understanding, it creates a ripple that spreads out beyond the small deed of kindness. If each ripple touches just one person, there are more ripples created. You’re doing it, Anita. But I get the desire for the whole world to be love, not the mess so much of it is.

    I’m glad you got to feel the opposite to your stupid mother’s criticism. She’s just dum.

    That’s a lovely sounding verse.

    I’m one of those reading. Thank you for sharing.

    #434046
    anita
    Participant

    Thank you, SadSoul!

    anita

    #434281
    anita
    Participant

    Continued:

    I have been happy recently. I didn’t even know what happy means until most recently. I used to.. hate the word “happy”, and here I am, happy. I feel that I am over my Mother-Monster, like I finally- after a half a century- moved on from her, leaving her behind, in my mind.

    I didn’t know what happy means until the last couple of days, I mean HAPPY within myself, being happily okay.. being ME. Being okay with being clumsy and weird perhaps, and not being afraid anymore of being negatively judged.

    This is all not a rational- dry experience but an emotional experience. All of my life, I was not okay about being me.

    Now, as imperfect and humbly humble as I am, I am perfectly okay being me.

    anita

     

     

Viewing 4 posts - 106 through 109 (of 109 total)

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