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Estranged relationship with dad

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  • June 7, 2019 at 12:47 am #297765
    jennifer
    Participant

    Every since I was around 13 my relationship with father shifted, we hardly ever talk our “conversation” usually end up with me crying and him angry or don’t pass a few words. I am now 20 and things haven’t changed one bit it’s gotten to the point where even takes a toll on my mother. To give a little background my dad wasn’t an absent father or Anything, but when I turned 6 until i was 11 he had to move away (even though he was still in a relationship with my mom) but that didn’t stop us from seeing him any chance we could and he would call every night and talk to me. While still being a caring, affectionate and loving father. Fast forward a few years, my parents decided to move again and this time to a another country which I don’t like to this day but what can i do. I was never a troubled child but this did result in depression.

    I really feel helpless at this point and feel as if I won’t be able to have a good relationship where i can peacefully communicate with father. Really need some advice.

    P.s. sorry for such a personal post but I’m kind of desperate and this might just help someone else, thanks in advance.

    June 7, 2019 at 4:53 am #297787
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Jennifer,

    This sounds counter-intuitive but what I would do:

    1. The next time you see him, just sit quietly in the same room as him. Watch a movie, read a book. If he asks about you just say a peaceful, “Good.” If he says anything controversial or contrary, just say, “Interesting. I haven’t thought of it like that.” This is to give both of you the experience of being peaceful around each other.

    2. Ask him to help you, give advice or get his opinion on something. Again, no matter what he says, keep you mouth shut, and just say, “Thank you.” This gives him the experience of acting in the role of Father.

    It WILL get easier. When you are more than half his age (i.e. he had you at 30 and you are now 31) expect a definite energetic Shift. Look forward to it.

    Best,

    Inky

    June 7, 2019 at 9:56 am #297847
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear jennifer:

    I want to understand better, therefore I ask: can you give me an example of a conversation you had with your father where it ended up with you “crying and him angry or don’t pass a few words”-

    what did he say, what did you say..?

    anita

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