Dear Antonina:

You wrote: He’s a very narcissistic and selfish person but love is blind I guess”. What this means to me is that you are very angry at him.

You wrote that he told you that he loves you (during the last six months, I understand) but you ignore it because “it doesn’t mean anything to him” and you believe that he is using you. But you “absolutely love him and want him in (your) life anyway”

Question: do you want him in your life or are you compelled to have him in your life ( that is, dropping everything and going to meet him when he messages you is a behavior on your part that you feel you cannot control)?

anita

Hello Antonina!

i feel for you. When I read your message, I was reminded of my ex. He too would act so unsure about our relationship. Some days, he’d tell me these stories that made me feel like I was drunk on champagne. That he loved me and wanted to leave his life behind and start a new adventure with me…that he wanted to get married and have adorable children and be a doting father . Other days, he’d say that he doesn’t see himself in a relationship or as a parent and that he is scared of added responsibility. He wanted to be famous and alone and only focus on his career.

this tug and pull that you’re feeling is really familiar to me. On one hand, you probably love this man and want him to settle with you….on the other hand, it’s causing you pain. I think you have to figure out where this journey with this man will lead you. Mine led to our breakup because I realized that I could never fix him or make him want a serious relationship. See where your journey takes you