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Being a Better Version of Myself

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Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)
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  • #80027
    Kit
    Participant

    Hi. New here.

    I don’t think I have anything completely figured out. I know what I want out of life. I want to be happy and spiritually and emotionally fulfilled. Sometimes I’m right on target. Sometimes I’m not.

    I joined the forum because I’m looking for guidance. I’ve gotten tired of making the same mistakes over and over. I try to be a good person. But I frequently feel like I’m getting sucked into the negativity of the people around me. Or getting dragged down by my own negativity or just a fresh depressive episode.

    I love art and I’ve committed myself to becoming the best artist I possibly can. Perhaps that’s why I’ve had this revelation. I’ve committed myself to practicing and I work every day to achieve this goal. It makes me happy. By the end of a hours practice, I have a new perspective and a sense of peace. That’s new for me and I really like the feeling. It leaves me thinking about things I hadn’t previously considered.

    A few weeks after I committed myself to this practice, I started reevaluating my life. I work hard. I try to better myself. I try to take care of the people around me. I don’t like hurting people by my words, my actions or inaction.

    I’ve always been a spiritual person. I want to live up to my ideals. I don’t want to let myself off the hook. I want to be better. I want to help people. I want to make people’s lives better. Even if it’s just lightening their load a little or making someone smile.

    I make these little steps forward then I feel like I take a giant step back and I can’t tell if I just expect too much from myself. I’m not willing to lower my standards for myself. I don’t know if I can live up to them or if I’m going to keep falling short. Maybe I have to. Maybe falling short is the only way to learn to live up to them. Every time I do, I feel it and I want to do better.

    Most of the time, I say something thoughtless or get angry or judgmental. I keep reminding myself that I need to think before I speak, I get angry when I’m stressed and I shouldn’t judge people’s actions because I don’t know their circumstances, I only know my own. Why can’t I remember those things before? Why can’t I get this right? Why do I keep screwing up? I screw up and I’m left with the guilt and regret.

    I don’t expect perfection out of myself or anyone else. I just want to be better. I want to be the best version of myself I can be. Now all I have to do is figure out the steps to get there. That’s a goal that’s not easily accomplished but I’m trying. Even the days I fall really short, I’m really trying. I wish I could feel like that was good enough.

    #80033
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi kitc,

    This reminds me of an ancient Christian debate: Justification or Sanctification?

    Basically it boils down to Is it What We Do OR is It Who We Are?

    The problem with goodness and spirituality or Art Mastery is there is no End Post. No one telling you, Congratulations! You’ve Arrived!

    We are ALWAYS expanding.

    Why not do a little art/goodness/spiritual practice each day and give yourself a break and rest in Where You Are Now?

    Best,

    Inky

    #80035
    Mencari
    Participant

    Wish I knew the answers – going through the same thing. My advice, of course easier said than done, is to try to move on and forgive yourself. We all make mistakes. Acknowledge it, then accept it (makes amends/apologize if applicable) and move on. Treat yourself as you would a close friend.

    Two things I’ve found very helpful are these talks:


    (probably more the shame/guilt in your case, but I think both are relevant to everyone)

    Keep going and trying to improve and take each moment as it comes. You’ve already taken huge steps in realizing a better life – you should be proud!

    #80038
    Rock Banana
    Participant

    Your choice to acknowledge your reality as a human being in development, is cool. When it comes from a place of acceptance of who you are, that’s when it’s truly powerful – and who you are is NOT your thoughts, or who you ‘think’ you are. Who you are is simply the observer of the experience you are having in this moment. The observer of thoughts, the observer of experiences. The space behind and around the thoughts and ideas and concepts. That’s who you are.

    Go ahead – shift thought systems, realize ambitions, choose who you want to ‘be’ in the sense of the energy, perspectives, introspection, practices, etc. that you bring to life. But if you do all of that from a place of the idea you lacking something, then it’s not going to be as enjoyable an experience as when you wake up to the fact that you ARE perfect ‘now’, in the sense there’s nothing “wrong” with you. Of course perfection is just a concept, but so is “wrong”, so is “lacking”, so is “not good enough”, and the fact is, when you accept reality for what it is, then of course you have achieved the peace, fulfillment + “perfection” you are looking for, albeit not conceptually.

    So why do the transformation, the development, the practices? Because you enjoy it. To align yourself even more closely with the way of ‘being’ in the world that you want to ‘be’. But not because your happiness or sense of self depend on it – when you make the choice for your happiness and sense of “who you are” to be separate from the internal mental shifts and developments you are making, that’s when those activities will be TRULY fulfilling.

    I really hope that makes sense – it’s difficult to explain without it seeming contradictory, I think. But I’m trying to express two different ways of relating to reality. Hope you got at least some of it!

    #80119

    Hello,beautiful. Congrats on focusing on your personal growth and that you want to help others and experience the most out of life with positivity and finding how to be inspired. Try thinking of all the stuff you want in life, stemming from your morals,interests and etc whatever makes you happy. You can draw inspiration from anywhere because there are endless possibilities in life and beauty can be found in even the littlest things. Take some time to get to know you alot better like take up new hobbies, research etc and spending time with loved ones and setting a time for spiritual guidance everyday and being in tune with your soul and well being. We all want what’s best for you Be proud of the person you are and that no one can be perfect. Each day we grow and manifest. It is because if someoen is perfect then becoming a better version of yourself just stops and there is nothing more to improve and keep growing upon as a person. I’m so glad you realize when you are irritated or etc don’t put yourself down for it, even the nicest people do that too. We can only not look back and just take everything as a lesson to try to use and keep lovinf and enjoying life hon. All the best to you. Remember that you and your existence matters and that whatever you choose to do with your Beautiful life..there are many possibilities to see what will happen. Keep believing in the good/, in yourself, find ways to help others and give by doing anything because it all counts and love and appreciate yourself because you have come so far hon. All the best to you!. infinite hugs and sending good energy and love。 Love, ♥♥Eleni

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