Dear apple-slice:

I suggest that you practice moderation in how much and how often you share with him about your anxiety. This way, you will feel some relief sharing with him and at the same time, you will not share too much and overwhelm him, and in so doing, elevating his own anxiety. If he does the same for you, it will work well for the two of you.

anita

I agree with Inky. I hate video calls. I hate phone calls, too. haha. They both make me feel anxious and I’ve never quite understood why. My last boyfriend and I were semi-LDR because we lived about 25 minutes away from each other and could only see each other on weekends for the most part due to work. We only communicated through text during the week. We dated for 2 years and I think we only video chatted one time when I was on vacation with my family, and I was extremely anxious during that call, even though I loved the guy to pieces. My anxiety really had nothing at all to do with him.

So I think the easiest thing to do here is to not video chat. Do just regular phone calls instead.

I can also see how you two are feeling anxious and maybe a little insecure about seeing each other since it’s been a while. Part of you may be wondering if it will be comfortable like it was the last time or if you will feel awkward, and not knowing for sure can make you feel anxious. I wouldn’t make any relationship decisions based on that feeling and just try to remember that it’s more likely you will feel comfortable since that’s how you felt the first time. Then just see how it goes!