Anita,

I will try my best to make this clear.  In my opinion there was a disconnect with texting.  He felt by statements I made that I was trying to rush into a relationship. (I asked him if he wanted to see a picture of my dog and he said that’s what people do when they are in a relationship. According to him I had just broken up with my boyfriend so I wanted to get into another relationship quickly.  I gave some recommendations for movies when his car was in the shop and he said I was telling him what to watch)  However, at other times he would give the impression that we were not short term.  That if he wanted to hook up that he would not ask me to do things with him.  He made comments more than once about me probably talking to multiple guys.  When I would not send a photo of my ex to him he said that it’s because my ex is better looking.

I felt pressure by his statements that he was trying to sleep with me or rush into. I felt protective of myself with sex. (He said once you start kissing and other things it leads to sex right then.  There is no “messing around” at times and then later that lead to sex down the road.

His stories sound bizarre.

I believe he may be codependent once in a relationship.  That when he feels pressure he gets rude.  He says he felt pressure when we went to dinner.  (We were supposed to talk about what we wanted moving forward-this was his idea by the way).

Lindsey

Anita,

You are so funny.  Yes I definitely think so.  When I got the text on Wednesday I just thought what is going on here.  I  Just don’t understand.  Maybe there is no need to understand. Just Run.

Lindsey

Anita,

Once I dropped of the kids to school I came home to an empty home.  My ex sent a message from the parenting app “reminding” me that he will pick up the kids on Thanksgiving at 2pm and return them at 8pm.  It makes me very sad because what am I going to do all day?  I’m not with my family or my extended family.

He continues to be very passive aggressive.  On Saturday Ella and I took Aiden to a batting cage for a batting contest with teams of kids.  I was told he would have a game at 5-we got there at 4. He further stated it would be over by 6-Aiden and his team would not win against that team.  No only did he play at 6 he also played at 7.  Ella and I left at 7:30 because she was bored and we were both hungry.   For the last 2 months he has been doing drop off at a vet’s office by my house.

Sarah was there with Brayden and we were talking on the couches and walking around.  Sarah is Dan’s husband.  Dan is Amy’s ex husband.  Amy is my ex’s girlfriend.  Bradyen is Amy and Dan’s son.

My ex has made comments about Sarah and I being friends. That night he dropped Aiden off in front of my house.  On purpose  because of Sarah and I at the batting cages talking.  He knows he is not allowed on my property.

So I’m just feeling down.  My father asked if I would come up for Christmas to visit for the weekend and take the kids back home with me.  I said ok but changed my mind. It is not healthy for me to be around my mother. Not at all.  I would come home and lose the emotional gains I have made.

Lindsey

Dear Lindsey:

How was your Thanksgiving Day and how is your Thanksgiving Weekend?

anita

Dear Lindsey:

My thanksgiving was fine, thank you. I feasted on Cornish Hen, my baby version of Thanksgiving turkey. Always good to read about the lovely quality time you spend with your kids!

Jason handed you the restaurant bill to pay… following an argument or a fight?

anita

Dear Lindsey:

How crude of him, for crying out loud! This is the only excellent part of the dinner: “As he was saying I should at least pay for half I grabbed my things and walked out of the restaurant“-

– Remember how you regretted not walking out on him the last dinner? Well, you did it this time, congratulations!!!

anita

Dear Lindsey:

You are very welcome, you certainly deserve my sincere compliment!!!

anita

Anita,

I’ve been meaning to send you a message but this week has been busy and stressful.  I didn’t realize how stressed out I was until Monday.  I think it’s the fact I have to be in the office all week which is a big change for me and also I had mediation on Tuesday.  Mediation went OK and it’s done.  To a certain extent I think it was a waste of money because these are issues that for most people could have been agreed upon by sitting down and working through it.

Just trying to get through the week.  It feels better when I am home with the kids and my dog.

Something very random and unexpected happened. I had been messaging with a guy for about 2 weeks.  He asked for me number and we texted but I never really thought much about it because he didn’t over text all the time like most guys.

So he asked me to meet him for coffee Tuesday evening and I agreed.  You would have laughed if you were in the car when I got there.  He texted me to let him know via test when I got there and he would meet me at the door. When I got there I sat in my car for a few minutes and felt like I could not get out of my car.  I felt like I did not have the energy to socialize with someone especially since there was a good chance I would not like him and it would not go well and I was stuck talking for awhile.

So it went really well and he asked him to dinner this weekend.  Anita this might be a long term thing.  He has his stuff together and he is not just someone I decide to hang out with because I am lonely and also insecure in general.

Lindsey