Lisa:

You have a special, authentic way with words, “It’s a stupid, egotistical club that I am not allowed into”- powerful combination of words.

“Real love is unconditional”- I agree and I am only a beginner when it comes to making it a daily practice.

“I fight for authenticity and justice”- that sounds like a valuable and honorable fight.

Must be a difficult fight, is it?

✨️ Anita

Dear Lisa:

Reading what you shared today, I was reminded of two things you wrote nine years ago (May 1, 2017, the original post of this thread): “I am an artist who doesn’t draw and a writer who doesn’t write,” and “I cannot handle an ounce of criticism from a man or anyone else.”

I hope it’s okay that I bring these up, because I see how they connect to what you’re going through now.

Back then, you were describing a kind of blocked self‑expression — a feeling that your voice, your creativity, your emotional truth didn’t have a safe place to exist. And today, you’re describing something very similar at work: you’re surrounded by people who seem free to be loud, silly, expressive.. while you feel watched, judged, and silenced. You’re still having to hide parts of yourself, even writing in “code” so no one can misunderstand or use your words against you.

It makes so much sense that this would hurt. Anyone who has felt unsafe expressing themselves will feel criticism — or even the threat of criticism — very deeply. You’re responding to years of being shut down, dismissed, or ridiculed. Anyone would feel raw in that situation.

But here’s what I also see: You’ve grown. You said you regulate your emotions better now. You’re able to describe your experience with clarity and honesty. You’re reaching out instead of shutting down completely.

That’s not the same person who couldn’t handle “an ounce” of criticism. That’s someone who is learning to stay present with herself even when the environment is unkind.

As for the work situation… you’re right that you can’t control their behavior. But you can protect your inner space. A few things that might help:

* Don’t take their loudness or popularity as a measure of your worth. Some people perform socially; it doesn’t mean they’re deeper or kinder.

* Keep your interactions brief, neutral, and boundaried. You don’t have to be friendly with someone who treats you poorly.

* Give your energy to the people who actually see you. Even one supportive coworker can make a difference.

* Let your self-expression live somewhere safe. If work isn’t that place, then here can be. Or in your art, your writing, your journaling — even if it’s messy or imperfect.

You are an artist and a writer, Lisa. That part of you never went away. It’s just been waiting for a place where it won’t be mocked or minimized.

And you deserve that place. You deserve to express yourself without fear. You deserve to be treated with respect. You deserve to feel free inside your own skin.

You can always come here and write — in your own voice, not in code. I’ll read every word.

✨💛🌿😊🙏🌙 Anita

You are very welcome 🙏, Lisa.

You’re special, positively unique. You make sense. I see it. I wish everyone did.

🤍 Anita