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- This topic has 388 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 5 months ago by anita.
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July 16, 2018 at 8:30 am #216899AnonymousGuest
Dear Lisa:
“I am just tired of suffering”, you wrote.
When you suffered before, you used to daydream, didn’t you? Daydream about a love story, your own love story, a man pursuing you, loving you, taking care of you, while you took care of him, I suppose. This sanctuary of dreaming, imagining, wishing, hoping, waiting. Not too long ago you found some solace reading love stories, on the internet, I think it was.
Did you stop daydreaming about love; are you no longer waiting for him, the man to approach you, pursue you, love you?
anita
July 18, 2018 at 6:50 pm #217545LisaParticipantDear Anita
Are you under the impression that I wouldn’t be nurturing in a relationship? Just a question.
Oh yes I still daydream, quite often. I feel it is the only place where I can experience these things and I am a part of the world.
In the mindset I am in right now I am not waiting for him because I know he will never come. When I am feeling better is when I hope there is a chance.
Lisa
- This reply was modified 6 years, 4 months ago by Lisa.
July 19, 2018 at 4:34 am #217593AnonymousGuestDear Lisa:
In my last post to you I asked if you day dream about a man “taking care of you, while you take care of him, I suppose”- my thought behind “I suppose” was that I thought when a girl or a woman day dreams of a love story she is more likely to day dream about the man taking care of her. Then I thought: but maybe Lisa also day dreams about taking care of the man, so I added that last part, “take care of him”.
To your question if I am under the impression that you “wouldn’t be nurturing in a relationship”- my answer is that I think you will go far and beyond to take care of the man, to make his life comfortable, cook, clean, and such. I think you will do your best to be there for him in every way, that you will be dedicated and committed to him, as … perfect of a girlfriend or wife as one can be, at first.
I wrote “at first” because I don’t see you in a lasting relationship with a man. Nor do I see a beginning of one either. There hasn’t been one yet.
anita
July 19, 2018 at 6:02 am #217613LisaParticipantThere are reasons on my end for that one Anita. You have heard about my life but no you haven’t lived it. You have lived your experience and that is valid but you have not lived mine and this is where I wish I could take anyone who is trying to help me on a journey and see what I lived and then make an assessment.
1. I value love above everything
2. I am not for sale, which is what most marriages are based on.
3. I have been abused by many men. My view of them has been based on what I experienced.
4. I think for myself and I am stubbornly independent. They don’t like strong women, especially ones who talk about anything beyond having fun, pining for someone, praising misogynistic men. Look at all the women that support that joke in the White house. Because supportung him supports the patriarchy which supports them. They can’t do things on their own.
July 19, 2018 at 6:24 am #217619LisaParticipant“Supporting” typing correction.
…and yeah I said it.
- This reply was modified 6 years, 4 months ago by Lisa.
July 19, 2018 at 7:36 am #217629AnonymousGuestDear Lisa:
I haven’t lived your life. Of course I haven’t. No one has. Does it mean that no one can understand you?
What does it take for you to believe that you are understood?
anita
July 28, 2018 at 5:44 am #219091LisaParticipantI think I am understood but few are willing to sacrifice their rewards in the name of integrity so they don’t know what to say to me.
Integrity is not worth giving up a boyfriend or husband or standing up to them so women who do have and hang on to their integrity have little power and are left alone.
I have seen many examples of this. Women tolerate too much.
July 28, 2018 at 6:18 am #219103AnonymousGuestDear Lisa:
Has there been a single woman in your life experience who was “willing to sacrifice (her) rewards in the name of integrity”, sacrificed her rewards and knew what to say to you?
anita
July 28, 2018 at 9:28 am #219147LisaParticipantNo women I have met or am likely to meet. Most likely that woman would be heavily criticized. There are a few strong women who accept this burden but not many and certainly not enough. Most women are content to keep the patriarchal cycle going because it benefits them to do so.
These are the only women I can look to for support but they are very difficult to find or communicate with.
- This reply was modified 6 years, 3 months ago by Lisa.
July 29, 2018 at 4:27 am #219213AnonymousGuestDear Lisa:
You never met a woman, in person, who is not “content to keep the patriarchal cycle going because it benefits them to do so”. There is one woman you mentioned many posts ago who you never met in person and whom you admire, Madonna. She definitely expressed rejection of that patriarchal cycle you mentioned. But then she didn’t need that to benefit her financially, being as wealthy as she is.
So you have Madonna’s song to find comfort in, and daydreaming about love, but no person to relate to, no person with whom you have a meeting of the minds. You suggested earlier that I did not live your life and therefore I don’t understand. Well, no one in the whole wide world lived your life. Only you lived your life, so no one can understand you, according to your logic.
Maybe it is time to examine your logic, question it?
anita
September 2, 2018 at 6:21 am #224071AnonymousGuestDear Lisa:
“Alone”, but not forgotten.
anita
September 4, 2018 at 2:24 pm #224335LisaParticipantThank you Anita.
September 5, 2018 at 5:41 am #224383AnonymousGuestYou are welcome. Good to read from you, Lisa, even if it is only a few words.
anita
September 12, 2018 at 11:52 am #225365LisaParticipantEvery single time I come close to believing that it’s me a woman proves to me yet again how they let men win. It amazes me how many of us truly are wimps. I am alone because I am strong and independent.
September 12, 2018 at 11:59 am #225369LisaParticipantI am really angry now and I hate other women for embracing stupidity and gaining from it.
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