Tiny Buddha

Tag: joy

  • 10 Simple Ways to Enjoy Life’s Journey More

    10 Simple Ways to Enjoy Life’s Journey More

    “Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.” ~Eckhart Tolle

    I wake up. I take a look outside.

    I take a breath in and just appreciate where this dream has taken me.

    I want to be a ninja.

    Yeah, it sounds a little strange.

    Probably even weirder when I tell you I have a Master’s degree in education, am a former teacher, and I’m about to turn thirty.

    You could call it a quarter life crisis, assuming I’ll live to be 120.

    But I prefer to call it my life’s calling.

    It is my childhood dream. So, when I say, “I want to be a ninja,” I’m talking about the ninja from my eight-year-old brain.

    According to my eight-year-old brain a ninja:

    • Moves to a far away land
    • Trains extensively in martial arts
    • Challenges the traditional methods of life and work

    About a year ago I quit my job in America. I moved to Japan (a far away land). I now train full time in martial arts five to six days a week.

    I’m doing everything within my power to turn this into a lifestyle. I write about my experiences in hopes of encouraging others to make the most of their lives.

    It is easy for me to romanticize my life to the outside world, but the reality is that I can get just as caught up in the monotony of day-to-day life as anyone else.

    After being in Japan for a year I can get so caught up with achieving my next goal, the next item on my to do list, that I forget how wonderful life truly is.

    I live in a land with thousands of years of history, culture, and beautiful architecture.

    And with all of this sometimes I can still walk through my day like a zombie. (more…)

  • 50 Cheap, Creative Ways to Have Fun

    50 Cheap, Creative Ways to Have Fun

    “Never let lack of money interfere with having fun.” ~Unknown

    Back when we were young we may have asked our parents for money to do things, but more often than not we found creative ways to have fun without spending a dime.

    At least I know I did.

    My cousins and I turned their bulkhead cellar doors into a slide—and the main attraction of our DIY amusement park.

    We turned cardboard paper towel rolls and rice-filled soda bottles into instruments, and entertained ourselves for hours on end. Okay, maybe not hours, but you get the point.

    We didn’t wait for overtime or vacation weeks to have fun. It didn’t really matter what we did. All that mattered is that we were together, and we were fully committed to enjoying ourselves.

    I highly doubt I’d spend one of my adult Saturdays banging on a homemade coffee can drum, but there’s something to be said for getting a little creative with your downtime—especially since a lot of us spend a great deal of time immersed in routines and technology.

    If you’re looking for some cheap, creative ways to enjoy the weekend—or perhaps an upcoming weekday you’ve chosen to liberate—I recommend:

    Have Fun Outside

    1. Take a “flip the penny” hike in the woods. Assign each side as right or left, and then when you come to a fork in the road, flip to see which way you go. (Just make sure you keep track of where you’re going so you don’t get lost.)

    2. Host a modern scavenger hunt, using technology.

    3. Have a picnic in the park and ask everyone to make something from scratch.

    4. Make your own kite, then head to the beach to fly it.

    5. Take up urban foraging—the act of picking free fruits, vegetables, and edible plant life around your city, where sanctioned.

    6. Start a nature collection—collect interesting shaped rocks or shells—and spend the day getting it started.

    7. Start a garden on the cheap using some clever ideas from TheStreet.com.

    8. Download a bike map app for your iPhone and explore a new area.

    9. Have a nostalgia hunt at a flea market. Look for GI Joes, My Little Ponies, Cabbage Patch Kids, or anything else you loved as a kid.

    10. Go geocaching—a “high-tech treasure hunting game played throughout the world by adventure seekers.”

    Have Fun with Food

    11. Swap family recipes with a friend and make each other’s to enjoy together.

    12. Make ingredients gifts for upcoming birthdays and events—get a jar, decorate it, and then layer cookie ingredients inside.

    13. Have a cookie swap party. Everyone makes a dozen and goes home with a dozen of all different types of cookies.

    14. Take turns hosting dinners with friends. It’s much less expensive than going out to eat, and it gives everyone a turn to host.

    15. Host pot luck dinners based on food themes. Everyone brings something Italian, and the next time Thai, and the next time Chinese.

    16. Have a food art party—everyone needs to bring something that’s both edible and creative.

    17. Have a budget food contest. Everyone has to cook a dish spending no more than $5 or $10. Eat and vote on the best budget dish!

    18. Start your own Julie and Julia project—grab a cookbook, start working your way through it, and blog about it as you go.

    19. Make a recipe book of all your favorite dishes to give to someone you love.

    20. Have an ugly cake contest. Have all of your friends make a desert, and then before you enjoy them together, vote on which is the ugliest!

    Have Fun with Entertainment

    21. Have a karaoke night using the YouTube karaoke channel.

    22. Look on Craigslist for your area to see if there are any free concerts going on in nearby parks.

    23. Have a movie marathon with one or two friends where everyone brings their favorite DVD.

    24. Have an independent-film marathon, watching free indie videos online.

    25. Spend a day looking for free street performances in the nearest big city. In the summer particularly, there’s a ton!

    26. Host your own open mic night and invite all your most talented musician, comedian, and poet friends.

    27. Have a culture day—visit a museum on a free day, listen to classical music on the way, and watch a classic movie in the evening.

    28. Call your local theater to see if they take volunteer ushers. Many theaters give free tickets to volunteers who either seat guests or clean up post-performance.

    29. If you have children, host a family barbecue where the adults catch up while the kids come up with a little show to perform later in the evening. (My favorite childhood memories all involve a show with the cousins!)

    30. Use Facebook to get a group together for a flash mob. You’ll need a lot of people—and undoubtedly, this requires work—but it can be a ton of fun to prepare and carry out! Here are 15 flash mob videos to get the creative juices flowing.

    Have Fun by Trading

    31. Host a clothes swap day where everyone brings clothing and accessories they no longer want, and everyone goes home with something new. (This may be more for the ladies.)

    32. Exchange homes for a night. When you’re staying at your friend’s high-rise condo and she’s decompressing in your claw-foot tub, a relaxing night in will have a whole new sense of excitement.

    33. Trade gear—let your friend use your bike while you learn to rollerblade.

    34. Trade books with a friend and then get together to discuss the most insightful, helpful, or entertaining parts.

    35. Have a board game night where everyone brings their favorite game. (Okay, so this is more sharing than trading).

    36. Trade your services for someone else’s. Offer to help your painter friend set up a website in exchange for painting your bedroom. It will be a fun, free, productive afternoon!

    37. Have a no-money garage sale on a sunny afternoon. List on Craigslist everything that you have that you’d like to get rid of, and include a list of everything you want in exchange.

    38. Trade ideas. Ask your friend to share his or her favorite way to spend a day off, then you share yours. You can either do them separately and report back to each other, or do them together on two respective off days.

    39. Trade videos with a loved one who lives far away. Each of you plan a day of fun, without telling each other what it will entail. Then go through the day with the intention of creating a joy-filled video to send the other one later that evening.

    40. Trade blogs. You host your friend’s blog for a day and let him or her host yours. If you both write about different niches, this is an incentive to try something new so that you can write about it.

    Have Fun by Giving Back

    41. Create a digital product about something you enjoy and donate the proceeds to charity.

    42. Host a free webinar sharing something that you’re passionate about.

    43. Sign up to be a volunteer dog walker through the SPCA. (You can also help organize fundraising events, provide general animal care, and assist with grooming, among other things.)

    44. Call your local children’s hospital and see if you can host a sing-a-long or come dressed up as a clown to spread cheer. (Contributor Harriet Cabelly did something similar through Patch Adams international clowning trips.)

    45. Volunteer to help with events at your local zoo. Some zoos require an extensive time commitment, but others take short-term volunteers for specific events.

    46. Be an unofficial park volunteer for a day. In between relaxing and reading books on the grass, pick up litter to keep the area clean.

    47. Use Charity Navigator to find a local charity that you can trust, and then get involved starting today.

    48. Help an elderly neighbor with her garden, or with another chore that you generally enjoy doing.

    49. Lead or participate in a midnight run to help the homeless.

    50. Have a bake sale with friends in your neighborhood, then donate the proceeds to your favorite charity.

    Have anything to add to the list?

  • Facing the Fear of Death and Really Living Now

    Facing the Fear of Death and Really Living Now

    “He who doesn’t fear death only dies once.” ~Giovanni Falcone

    “None of us get out of here alive…” My sweet friend spoke those words, a few months before she lost her battle with Stage IV Brain Cancer at the tender age of 33.

    She had a sense of humor, always, and even in the midst of her intense radiation treatments, was able to make light of a fact that is so obviously true—yet is so inherently avoided by Western culture.

    Standing by my friend during her battle with cancer was the very first time in my life that I experienced death up close and personal.

    I had lost my grandfather as a teenager, but as an adult, his was the closest I’d come to death. The loss of any life is heartbreaking, though it seems that there is a form of closure that naturally occurs when you know that someone has had lived a long and fulfilling life.

    When a young person dies it is tragic, this is the reality. We can slice and dice our ideas of the after life and paint whatever picture we choose, but the bottom line is, a life lost so young impacts many, and the grief stretches far.

    As I watched her life slowly fade over time, I began to find myself experiencing restless nights, often thinking about how lonesome it must have felt being in her position. Upon her death, reality only set in further, and shook me to my core.

    I started to ask myself: Why was this happening to her? Does death have to be a scary and lonely experience? Could I ever be fearless of death?

    I would repeat these in my head in various forms, and the more I would ponder, the more that fear would rear its ugly head. It would present itself in many ways, mostly scenarios that could possibly happen in my own life—losing a child or losing my husband, for example.

    These are scenarios that many of us live with on a daily basis, even without the trigger of the death of a loved one.

    I watched my thoughts unfold and I realized that I needed to put a stop to the madness. If you’re reading this blog, your level of self-awareness is likely high enough to be able to do the same—to recognize when something is spiraling out of your control. (more…)

  • 7 Important Questions to Ask Yourself Today

    7 Important Questions to Ask Yourself Today

    “What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.” ~Unknown

    During the first week of July 2012, a storm left my little town and nearly one million other people in the Mid-Atlantic Region without electricity. The outage lasted eight days for Buffalo, Ohio, and we saw triple digits (F) each day.

    I spent much of my free time in a hammock practicing my watching skills. I watched as I breathed in. I watched as I breathed out.

    I watched thoughts pop up out of nowhere as I watched the leaves of two young oak trees dance in the hot, humid July breeze.

    I think that week here in Ohio was as impactful as the 10-day Thich Nhat Hanh Retreat I experienced in October 2011.

    It’s amazing to me the amount of perspective one can gain in such a short period of time. 

    The day the electricity was restored I decided to limit myself to just a few minutes on the Internet, which turned into an hour. I then returned to my hammock to watch my breath and my thoughts.

    I wanted to make sure I understood the lessons of that week, and most of all I wanted to take with me the peace of mind I had rediscovered.

    So, there I was—under those two trees listening to birds chirp in the absence of gas generators and watching my thoughts.

    I brought with me a pen, a legal pad, and a few questions I thought would be helpful to answer before I plugged back in and continued to do what I do.

    Question 1: What Brings Meaning to Your Experience?

    As I asked this question to my “self,” I started to realize that my focus has been all over the place.

    I have a long list of goals. I spent most of my life goofing off, and never thought I could do much of anything. Since I realized that I can do whatever I decide, setting and achieving goals has been fun for me.  (more…)

  • How to Have Fun Like Children: 15 Joyful Tips

    How to Have Fun Like Children: 15 Joyful Tips

    “If it’s not fun, you’re not doing it right.” ~Bob Basso

    Every morning my daughter and I go for a twenty-minute walk to my workplace. For me, in those twenty minutes, I’m in transit. For my toddler, it’s nothing less than a parade of flowers, fire trucks, pebbles, and friendly folk.

    I walk alongside her, engrossed in my thoughts of concern that her bouncing body might fall down the stairs, or jump onto incoming traffic.

    One morning, I noticed that a sweet old man, amused by my toddler, was watching her with a smile on his face. As we crossed his path, he chuckled to himself, “Children have all the fun!”

    He’s right. They do. And clearly, I’m missing out! My age is no good reason for me to miss out on this street party!

    Now, I try to remember that fun is a perspective. It’s not a force bound within the walls of amusement parks. The days that I remember this, it makes all the difference.

    Line-ups are a great way to make new friends. Dusting is a contemporary dance. My world is a playground.

    We are born with a complete understanding of fun, which seems to fade over time and conditioning. I say we learn a thing, or 15, from children.

    How To Put Fun Into Every Day

    1. Be where you are.

    Kids are really good at enjoying the moment. Adults are addicted to thinking about all the things we have to do tonight, tomorrow, next week. Where you are is where the fun is. Nowhere else.

    2. Learn something new.

    From new words to new facial expressions, kids are constantly mastering new skills. Make it a point to continuously be learning something, anything. Aren’t we the ones who tell our kids that “learning is fun”?

    3. Get out of your comfort zone.

    Toddlers take risks all day long. As we mature, we tend to stay in our safe place. Your day will be so much more exciting if you gather the guts to wear hot pink pants. (more…)

  • Finding the Courage to Live Out Loud, Starting Now

    Finding the Courage to Live Out Loud, Starting Now

    “To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.” ~Unknown

    We’ve been taught that being negative means being realistic, and being optimistic means being unrealistic. We’ve been led to believe that you are “too old” or it is “too late” to follow your dreams. We’ve been taught to associate the feeling of doubt with failure.

    It’s time to bust these myths!

    We need to know, and let it be known, that doubt is just a feeling that comes to us when we are about to step out of our comfort zone.

    We are all familiar of the good old comfort zone—it’s the tiny little circle where we all feel safe. But here’s the deal: When we stay in our comfort zone for too long, it begins to shrink.

    We start to die—not a physical death, but a spiritual and emotional one.

    We are so afraid to try something that creates feelings of doubt, for the fear of failure. As a result, we miss out on opportunities; we miss out on what could have been amazing, mind-blowing experiences; and eventually we start to live a life filled with what-ifs and regret.

    Does this sound all too familiar?

    I used to be controlled by my ego, at the expense of my happiness. The ego is a protective mechanism that tries to protect us from the unknown.

    However, if we never venture, then we will never have any adventures, and we will never have lived.

    I used to be afraid of situations where I had no control of the outcome. I avoided social gatherings like the plague for this reason; what would happen if I couldn’t interact with anyone?

    One day I decided I had enough.

    I stepped outside my comfort zone. I started to say “yes” even though I felt overwhelmed. I said “yes” without even knowing how I would bring myself to do what seemed to be a daunting task.

    At one point, I was enrolled in BSchool, an online business course run by Marie Forleo. As I am a budding entrepreneur, I felt scared to interact with BSchoolers, as most of them already owned established businesses and brands. (more…)

  • Connect with Joy Instead of Searching for Joy

    Connect with Joy Instead of Searching for Joy

    “There is no need to reach high for the stars. They are already within you. Just reach deep into yourself!” ~Unknown

    I spent years searching for joy. For a long time, I thought that if I did the same things I saw in movies and on TV, I’d become a joyful person.

    I also learned from my environment that I’d be happy when I acquired enough material abundance.

    I got the toys I wanted and waited for joy to happen. I hoped that a new bicycle, new skis, a new TV in my room, and brand new Nikes would give me all the happiness I craved.

    But they didn’t. Well, they did, but it didn’t last for long. I felt joy for a while—or at least I thought I felt it.

    Then I wanted a car and I got it. Again I crashed. It was great driving it for a few weeks, but then I got used to it.

    Next, I thought I’d feel free and independent if I had a new apartment—when I got that, I’d enjoy life. That lasted for a month or two, and then I got used to that. I can go on, but I think you got the point.

    I was always pursuing joyfulness, but never actually feeling it for long. What was I doing wrong?

    I was walking the paths that were supposed to lead to joy, right?

    Then something occurred to me: What if I’m already on the joy way, and wherever I go, it leads me through joy—joyful cities, joyful adventures, and joyful challenges?

    At that point, I started simplifying my life. (more…)

  • 40 Little Things That Make a Big Difference in Your Day

    40 Little Things That Make a Big Difference in Your Day

    “Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” ~Robert Brault

    I believe life is in the details. Ongoing small gestures can mean so much more than one grand display of love. Simple pleasures throughout the day can be far more gratifying that one amazing weekend. When you connect the dots between all these little joys, life seems fuller and more satisfying.

    I’ve created a list of all the little things that fill me with bliss. Here’s what I’ve got so far:

    1. Breakfast in bed. You don’t need someone to bring it to you—just make it and then curl back up with your duvet!

    2. Cuddling in bed in the morning. A body pillow isn’t quite the same as someone you love, but sometimes it just feels good to hold something in your arms.

    3. A smile from a stranger; give one and you may get one. (more…)

  • Quiet Your Mind and Just Play (in 20 Ways)

    Quiet Your Mind and Just Play (in 20 Ways)

    “If it’s not fun, you’re not doing it right.” ~Bob Basso

    I spend a lot of time contemplating and philosophizing about life. According to my mother, I spent the first year of my life silently observing the events around me with a serious stare and a furrowed brow.

    I’ve always leaned toward reverent acts of self-discovery and introspection. In high school I studied Buddhist texts and on Sunday mornings. At age eighteen, when my college classmates were nursing hangovers, I was shopping around for a spiritual home, which I found in the form of my Unitarian-Universalist church.

    For most of my life, I’ve lived with intention and rarely with abandon.

    And I think I’m starting to feel the weight of this.

    Contemplation has its place, but sometimes life just calls for a little spontaneity—a small dose of irreverence interspersed amongst the otherwise-trying bits of living.

    I write this tonight because I have had a few uncharacteristically playful moments over the past few weeks, and I am quite sure they have prevented me from cracking up during some significant stress. Either that or, I am cracking up and my behavior has regressed to that of a four-year-old.

    In either case, it feels good.

    And I want to share those good feelings. So to encourage you to foray into the world of play, I’ve created a list of some things that have brought me unexpected and simple joy the past few weeks (along with some things I haven’t quite worked up the nerve to do just yet).

    Have fun and en-joy!

    20 Ways to Play

    1. Blow bubbles in the bathtub.

    Sometimes they bounce off the surface of the water. And when they pop, they make this satisfying “click” sound. If the lights are off and you have candles burning, the reflection in the soapy dome that hovers on your bath water is mesmerizing.

    2. Hula hoop.

    I just learned this skill. At age thirty-two. It’s addictively fun. Jump “rope” with the hula hoop, too. Just for laughs. My good friend advised me to, “Never hula hoop naked.” But I think that if you’re after laughs, this might be a good route.

    3. Make a paper “fortune-teller.”

    Then write ridiculous fortunes on the inner flaps. Present it to friends and neighbors for a range of amused smiles and baffled glances.

    4. Teach your dog a trick.

    Another hula hoop-inspired one for me, as my dog loves to leap through the hoop with the promise of a morsel of pepperoni. And her enthusiasm is contagious.

    5. Be a “surprise fairy.”

    Leave an anonymous gift or token for someone special. It could be a trinket or a poem, a hand-me-down necklace, or a handmade card.

    6. Belt out a show tune.

    Preferably in public. I won’t even tell you what’s been in my repertoire recently, but it’s a calypso tune sung by an ocean-dwelling animated crab. Catch my drift?

    7. Use stickers.

    Liberally. Just slap ‘em on notes and letters and planners. I dig Hello Kitty, but to each her own.

    8. Write silly poems on the envelopes to your bills.

    Last month’s masterpiece to my electric company expressed my relief at the rising temperatures and the lowered energy bill, and wished the reader a sunny afternoon.

    9. Leave a song on someone’s voicemail.

    Your high school best friend will be thrilled when he leaves work to check a voicemail containing the epic musical swells of “Bohemian Rhapsody.”

    10. Play with clay.

    You don’t have to be a sculptor. Get some play clay and roll out some worms, construct a tiny dinosaur (even if it looks like a rabbit), or use a cookie cutter to make a row of stars.

    11. Run down a hill.

    Or roll. Get some speed and feel the abandon. You’re freeeeee!

    12. Draw on the walls.

    Use bathtub crayons and create something while you shower. Or get some sidewalk chalk and have fun making hopscotch courses outside. Tape paper to your wall and scrawl in broad strokes with markers. It’s liberating.

    13. Give in to an urge.

    It’s 11pm and you’re suddenly compelled to drive to the beach? Do it. It’s 10am and the sunshine outside your office window is luring you out to take a walk? Do it. Not all urges are irresponsible.

    I think when we feel drawn toward freedom or to do something spontaneously, it’s usually our soul’s plea for joy and levity. We can’t always ignore that or ask it to wait patiently for the weekend. If we do, it may stop speaking to us all together.

    14. Borrow a kid.

    If you already have one, borrow another for a change of pace. Go to the playground and chase them around. Let them push you on the merry-go-round. When the other adults shoot you a look, smile inside, content in the knowledge that you know a secret to happiness: play!

    15. Swing on the swings.

    With or without kids. Feel the breeze across your face and the drop in your stomach when you go just a little bit higher.

    16. Learn a new trick.

    I still can’t do a cartwheel. And I can’t quite dive. But every time I set out to do either, I feel a renewed zest for life. Try something new and have fun with it.

    17. Play an instrument.

    Bongos and kazoos are fun for the not-so-musically-inclined.

    18. Make a “faerie garden.”

    My mother did this with my son recently. She used an old wooden crate and some found objects, and let him create a beautiful little “garden” filled with ceramic turtles, tree branches, and an angel figurine. There’s no real reason. But why not?

    19. Throw a party.

    Go all out and make it a themed event for all of your friends. Or go small scale and celebrate your dog’s birthday with some balloons, a new toy and a feast of fresh beef and rice. You can celebrate anything, if you want to.

    20. Dance in public.

    At a karaoke bar or in the grocery store. And if you somehow just can’t bring yourself to do it…do it anyway.

    These moments of fun and play are what keep me feeling alive. I consider them to be my soul’s expression of joy. And my body’s expression of joy. And my heart’s expression of joy. But my mind is blissfully quiet during these times.

    In these moments, my mind is off the hook and all I have to do is just play.

    Photo by Brian Tomlinson

  • Build Yourself an Army for Happiness

    Build Yourself an Army for Happiness

    “Count your joys instead of your woes. Count your friends instead of your foes.” ~Irish Proverb

    I’ve always believed that happiness is a choice. I thought that I was the only one who could truly make me happy.

    That was before my life disintegrated before my very own eyes.

    My husband and I built a business together. For four years we poured blood, sweat, and tears into it. We lived and breathed it. Before we knew it, and a lot sooner than you would probably imagine, it had consumed us.

    I felt like it had eaten me alive. I was no longer living my own life. Every ounce of energy was absorbed by work.

    Then, very suddenly, four months ago, it all fell apart. Our business went bankrupt, and we were left with nothing. No jobs, no money, and a colossal amount of debt, fear, and sadness.

    The days, weeks, and months that followed were a dark and difficult journey–a journey that made us look back and learn from our mistakes, take responsibility for our lives, and try to find something positive to look forward to.

    Now I look back at that journey as a blessing. It’s still early days, and there can be low points in the day, but on the whole I have come to realize that every stumbling block is in fact a stepping stone.

    This experience has made me delve deeper than ever before. I’ve found strength and courage that I didn’t know existed in me. But one of the greatest things to have come out of this whole situation has been my attitude to happiness.

    When life throws something difficult at you, even the most optimistic person can struggle to find the positive. I’ve always been the one to find the silver lining, and focus on the good stuff, but somehow, this time, it wasn’t that easy.

    And so, day by day, I began to build myself a happiness army. (more…)

  • Finding the Keys to Your Happiness

    Finding the Keys to Your Happiness

    “Maybe the key to happiness is to focus less on making moments last and more on making them count.” ~Lori Deschene

    Over the years, I have had my fair share of trials, many having to do with being bipolar and having OCD and ADD.

    These illnesses combined have made for a rough go. One day I might feel spontaneous and want to take a trip to Disney World, the next day I may want to end it all.

    Going back and forth with happiness and despair is an emotionally draining process. Knowing that it’s all in my mind is the most frustrating thing to deal with.

    It’s hard to describe an emotional illness that takes you up and down to those individuals who might not understand, but keeping your perspective in tune is the best solution. When I read Lori’s blog on focusing on making moments count, I knew I needed to write something in response.

    So I want to share with you how I find my keys to happiness because we all know keys go missing from time to time.

    1. Don’t get caught up with the negatives of the world.

    When you are driving to work in a traffic jam, instead of slamming your hands on the dashboard, put on your favorite tune. Let it take you back to the moment when you first heard it.

    2. Stuff happens.

    Don’t let the stuff determine how your day is going to be.  (more…)

  • 50 Things to Love about Life That Are Free

    50 Things to Love about Life That Are Free

    “If we look at the world with a love of life, the world will reveal its beauty to us.” ~Daisaku Ikeda

    If you asked an eight-year-old version of me to list all the things I loved, it might have looked something like this:

    • Ice cream
    • Swings
    • Snow days
    • Beach days
    • More ice cream
    • Saturday morning cartoons

    In fact, I’m sure I could have created an inventory longer than my usual Christmas list, including a ton of things that either tasted, felt, or looked good.

    It didn’t occur to me until later in life that some of the best things are intangible, and that I could experience them at any time if I just opened my heart and mind to let them in.

    I think most of us know this intellectually—that pride in our work can be more valuable than what it buys, for example. But sometimes we get so caught up in securing the trappings of the good life—the house, the car, the furnishings, the clothes—we’re too distracted to notice and appreciate the intangibles.

    That’s not to say there’s something wrong with enjoying material things. I’m still a huge fan of my TV (flatter and larger), ice cream (okay, almond milk ice cream now) and days off (though I can’t seem to negotiate any snow days into my adult California lifestyle). It’s just that there’s so much more to love about life that doesn’t cost a dime. (more…)

  • How to Create Joy Today: 7 Tips for a Happy Life

    How to Create Joy Today: 7 Tips for a Happy Life

    “Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” ~Dalai Lama

    I have recently come face to face with mortality—not my own, my friend’s. At only thirty-seven, Daniel left behind an army of people whose lives he had touched in some way, including my own.

    At thirty-three I have just qualified as a psychotherapist and hypnotherapist. At the time Daniel passed away I was working as a human resources manager, a profession I had originally trained in and remained in for over ten years.

    A number of factors and events led me to make the leap and set up my own practice as a psychotherapist and hypnotherapist, but the overriding reason was simply to follow my dreams.

    Many of my friends told me how inspiring I was to them, others told me I was brave, and the rest gave me a look of awe that suggested I was crazy.   

    Words of well-meaning advice were spoken.

    “Why don’t you work part time while you get the business underway?”

    “It’s going to take time for you to get regular clients you know; they won’t come overnight.”

    “You can always go back to human resources if it doesn’t work.”

    All of this came from my nearest and dearest friends and family! I didn’t listen to any of them because I knew from the depths of my soul that this was the right thing to do, and I knew their words were only echoes of their own fears about life and striking out, not my own.

    Every day we are faced with stories that remind us of our own mortality as human beings, but when you lose someone you love with all your heart, it changes something deep within you. (more…)

  • Where Do You See Yourself in Five Years?

    Where Do You See Yourself in Five Years?

    “Begin at once to live and count each separate day as a separate life.” ~Seneca

    “Where do you envision yourself in five years?”

    This is a common interview question. Managers like to find employees who set goals for themselves. They think it is a sign of a person who is motivated and wants to get ahead in life.

    I used to believe this too. I constantly badgered myself, “You should be further along in your career.” “Everyone else your age is in management positions, why aren’t you?” “Maybe I should get an MA so I can get a better job and be more qualified.”

    There was constant pressure on me to be more, to achieve more, to do better, to be better than what I was right then. I put that pressure on myself. American society idealizes the upwardly mobile, outwardly wealthy, ambitious person.

    When I was in my 30s I had a Director position with a good company, a husband, two kids, and a nice house in Florida. I was living the American dream. If asked my five-year plan in an interview I would have said to continue to move up in the company, to earn a higher salary, go back to school to get my Master’s Degree, send my kids to the best schools, and build an extension on my house.

    All my goals were exterior driven—to do, strive, angst and work, work, work, work harder. But life happens and you can’t control or predict what will be thrown your way. 

    In the next five years the economy tanked, and my husband was in danger of losing his job, so he wisely found another—in Indiana. We moved to the Midwest where I had never even had the slightest inkling of desire to live. (more…)

  • How to Tackle Resistance to Make Meaningful Life Changes

    How to Tackle Resistance to Make Meaningful Life Changes

    “Kites rise highest against the wind, not with it.” ~Winston Churchill

    A little over two years ago, I wrote these hopeless words in my journal:

    “All around me, I’m noticing people perpetuate patterns they claim to hate or end up in situations they’ve always dreaded. And I can’t seem to break free. When I take steps to make a new life or forge a new path, barriers pop up left and right. I don’t know what to do differently.”

    At the time, it felt as if my repeated attempts at changing the trajectory of my life toward joy and expansion were constantly thwarted by some covert forces intent on keeping me down.

    I felt as if I was fated to feel unfulfilled and discontent for the rest of my life. I felt like maybe everyone was fated to repeat maladaptive patterns and self-sabotaging mistakes.

    My, how things have changed.

    Since then I’ve taken significant steps toward major changes in my life, all bringing me closer to a joyful life based on my “anchors,” or values. My life continues to open up and I am presented with new opportunities daily.

    But there is still resistance. Nay-sayers. Obstacles to this change that I previously thought were unmanageable. In the past when these obstacles came up, I would shrink back into my old life thinking, “I knew I couldn’t do that.”

    In the present, I harness all of my strength and resources and confront these obstacles head-on. I know that there will always be resistance to change. But that doesn’t mean it’s not worthwhile.

    I’ve identified the two primary barriers to change, and some strategies for managing both.

    Read on to begin charting a new course for your life. (more…)

  • Are You Waiting for Your Life to Start?

    Are You Waiting for Your Life to Start?

    “There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept responsibility for changing them.” ~Denis Waitley

    Even though I am just 20, I’ve always been one of those people who is constantly waiting for my life to start. “When I’m older I’ll do this” and “In a few years I’ll do that.”

    My Dad took his own life when I was very young. Due to my age and the fact my family struggled so much with the loss, I grew up thinking he died of natural causes and learned the truth by accident when I was a teenager.

    At the time I told one friend, who was my age. In hindsight she was too young take on my burdens as well as her own, and I was too young to know how to handle finding something like this out. The way I viewed my family, my Dad, and myself completely changed.

    For a few years I dealt with it very destructively.

    I couldn’t make sense of all these new feelings I was experiencing and constantly viewed myself as worthless and unattractive; in my head I must have been if my own Dad could leave me like that.

    I suffered with depression and an eating disorder that would continue for a long time.

    A lot of my friends never knew about the way I felt. I was always “the funny one” and became loud and overconfident to mask what I was actually feeling. Food became comfort for me, and always in the privacy of my own room.

    High school soon ended, and I welcomed that with open arms. I saw the next stage in my education as a new beginning. I loved my friends with all my heart, but I thought a change of scenery and a chance to meet new people would help me change the way I looked at myself and my issues.

    But nothing really changed.

    I met some amazing people, discovered my love for music again, and had some wonderful times. But I was still burying issues and hiding behind jokes and overconfidence. (more…)

  • 5 Ways to Find Happiness in Nature

    5 Ways to Find Happiness in Nature

    “Turn your face toward the sun and the shadows will fall behind you.” ~Māori Proverb

    Imagine a graph showing the number of hours the average person spends out of doors today compared with 50 years ago. Imagine another graph showing how many people suffer from depression, stress, and anxiety compared to 50 years ago.

    I’m confident that there would be a direct correlation between the two graphs; as one has declined the other has risen.

    As we’ve turned our backs on nature we’ve lost our natural source of happiness. By turning our faces back toward the sun we find lasting happiness and more.

    My life has led me into nature, away from it and back into the heart of nature again. Now I know there are simple ways we can all reconnect with nature whether we live in the city, the woods, or somewhere in between.

    I grew up on the west coast of Scotland between Atlantic waves and rolling hills. The tiny hamlet where I spent the first 17 years of my life had a population of 17 people, and we were 60 miles from the closest cinema or swimming pool.

    The primary school population peaked one year when we had 12 pupils gathered from a 10 mile radius. Aged 5–12 we were taught in one classroom by one teacher. They shut the school the year after I went to high school because there was only one pupil left.

    I couldn’t wait to swap wild countryside for a different kind of wild. As I grew up, I craved boys, bright lights, big city, excitement, and culture, so I gravitated to London.

    On a daily basis my senses were assailed by the buzz of city life.

    I stared wide-eyed at advertising posters pasted on the underground and hordes of people who bustled past me in an eclectic mix of style, race, and age. I absorbed myself in the pulsing heart of the vibrant city and forgot about the countryside I’d left behind. (more…)

  • Living Fully Book Giveaway and Interview with Shyalpa Tenzin Rinpoche

    Living Fully Book Giveaway and Interview with Shyalpa Tenzin Rinpoche

    Update: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha to receive free daily or weekly emails and to learn about future giveaways!

    The Winners:

    Have you ever felt like the present moment is passing you by while you’re caught up worrying, analyzing, planning, and trying to protect yourself from pain and loss?

    It’s one the pitfalls of the human condition: we often paralyze ourselves in the pursuit of happiness and abundance, and in the process, miss out on the joy right in front of us.

    Shyalpa Tenzin Rinpoche has devoted his life to helping people live joyful, mindful lives, free from the burdens of their minds.

    In his new book, Living Fully, Finding Joy in Every Breath, Rinpoche summarizes his teachings in succinct, easily digestible sections. The result is a guide for living in the moment, peacefully, connected to the people and the world around us.

    The Giveaway

    To enter to win 1 of 2 free copies of Living Fully:

    • Leave a comment below
    • Tweet: RT @tinybuddha Book GIVEAWAY & Interview: Living Fully (comment on the blog to win!) http://bit.ly/ydAMit

    If you don’t have a Twitter account, you can still enter by completing the first step. You can enter until midnight PST on Sunday, March 11th.

    The Interview

    1. You were trained to be a Lama from the age of four. Did you always feel certain you wanted to be a spiritual teacher?

    Even though I was trained in the most ancient Tibetan Buddhist spiritual tradition from a very young age, I personally never intended to become a spiritual leader. (more…)

  • Getting Out of a Rut and Working on a Passion

    Getting Out of a Rut and Working on a Passion

    “We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.” – Charles R. Swindoll

    For twenty-something me, a college drop-out utterly overwhelmed with choice and bewildered by unemployment, it can easily feel like a void of nothingness, so black and dense there is little point in considering a future beyond it.

    I see friends studying Economics, English, and Engineering. They’ve joined their circus, and I haven’t even started yet. I’m behind, I’ll never catch-up; I’ll be the kid that got held up.

    College has structure, solidity, a process, respect, certification, and a certain standing. Without it I’m a light-weight who dropped out and couldn’t handle it. I’m fit to flip burgers and shut up.

    Or, maybe it’s okay to try a different method of travel for the time being.

    Feeling a thousand times behind, like I wasted time—this is the feeling that mired me in a rut. Falling into the rut is different for all of us, but how we get out? Not so different.

    When we imagine the worst possible outcome for our choices, this creates that pit-in-the-stomach feeling, which then cycles in our head, until suddenly it seems like our whole world is falling apart.

    I’m sure there are many people out there like me, maybe of a different age, feeling stuck, confused, nervous, anxious, and not just lost but somehow behind.

    I was stuck dwelling on everything I thought I did wrong, when it occurred to me that I couldn’t find any solutions until I cleared my head. Only when I stop obsessing and over-analyzing can I think clearly and make decisions I can trust.

    So I did that, and started to find my way out of this rut. Here is what I learned: (more…)

  • Stop Focusing on Lack to Fully Enjoy Your Experiences

    Stop Focusing on Lack to Fully Enjoy Your Experiences

    “Not what we have but what we enjoy constitutes our abundance.” ~Epicurus

    Yoga retreats in rural getaways nestled in tropical mountain spaces. Exploration trips for pleasure and business on the east and west coasts. Bike riding and people watching on Santa Monica Boulevard.

    Recognition and sponsorship from leaders in my professional circle. Adventures with my husband and daughters in Jamaica.

    Even with all these rich life experiences, still my focus was always the same: If I could just have more money, my life could finally get good.

    The past year found me deep on a journey to discover the muted parts of my life.

    Through meditation, exercise, candid conversations, and radical self-expression, I’ve learned so much about myself, the influence my past has had on my present, and the ways in which I’ve been hiding.

    Some of these revelations have been stark, not the least of which is the realization that a good chunk of my mutedness is rooted in one five-letter word: money.

    For most of us, it’s inarguable that we need money to cover our day-to-day lives. 

    Even with my minimalist tendencies, I’m not one to give away the majority of all I own and take a vow of poverty. Truth is, I’m way too attached to shoes, obnoxiously loud colors of nail polish, and unconstructed blazers to fully adopt the less-is-more philosophy.

    I can say though, that the more I release from my life (both physically and emotionally), the more access I gain to my Higher Self. 

    This access opened my eyes to a finding that has already created significant changes in my relationship with the energy of money. I’ve made it one of my daily life chants:

    While you design your best life,

    don’t chase the money,

    crave the experience.

    I’ve always chased money. More specifically, I’ve always viewed my connection with money akin to patches of grass. I’d earn enough to cover a bit of ground, but never enough to cover a respectable-sized lawn.  (more…)